There’s a big motif in Afrikaner history about them being Israelites. It’s not just in the stony-faced Calvinism of their Dutch Reformed Church. Ever since the Great Trek, when ancestors on ox wagons rode into the hinterlands in search of a life free of British control, the cry of “Let My People Go” has been a Boer mantra. In recognition of the Afrikaner pilgrimage, in the 1930s, the government built the massive Voortrekker Monument - a stuffily sacrosanct temple to this pseudo-Jewiness. Fifty years after the Voortrekkers, the Anglo-Boer War - a David & Goliath act, complete with its own British-made concentration camps - only served to emphasize the parallel (and heighten the persecution complex). In this light, the high noon of Apartheid could be read as one more Afrikaans attempt to secure self-determination - to wish away the simple fact that, in the long term, history is demography.
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January 20, 4:18 am VICE ZA 
I spent almost all of October in Haiti shooting a piece for VBS on drugs used in Vodou zombification rituals. The Montana, a hotel where I once ate a slightly overcooked spaghetti carbonara and complained that the flan was “decent but really not that great,” is now a heap of smoking rubble filled with the bodies of at least 200 people. In the pictures of destruction I saw a photo of my guide, Alex, covered in blood. He had been buried alive and pulled himself out of the remains of his home. The chances of him showing up in the New York Times photo blog and me seeing it are roughly one in a million. We have not been able to contact other people who were involved in the Nzambi production, it’s possible they’re dead.
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January 20, 4:13 am Hamilton Morris VICE US 
In a rare display of poor judgement I chose to let my wife’s retarded Uncle Lonnie babysit our newborn baby boy. Antics ensued...
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January 11, 4:22 am Chris Nieratko VICE US
Space rules. It is mysterious and vast and contains so many unknowns and if you’ve ever found yourself thinking what’d it’d be like to get stuck all alone out in that weird universe with the pressure around you sucking your insides dry, it makes you want to barf it’s so terrifying. This guy we know works for NASA, which we like to think is the annoying friend space never wanted but who just won’t go away. (NASA is the annoying friend, not the guy we know.) Basically, he is partially responsible for making sure nothing goes wrong up there so the actual guys in space don’t get their insides sucked dry. We asked him questions.
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January 8, 2:08 am Ellis Jones VICE US
My dad was a projectionist. When I was a little boy, say, seven or eight years old, I used to sneak into the projection room with him when he’d take me to work. I became fascinated with all the machinery, and now it’s a love. My most prized possession is a Super 8 copy of Enter the Dragon. There are only 20 in the whole world, and I have one of them right here. It’s worth about three grand, probably more. I know where some of the others are. It’s obviously worth a lot, but it’s also quite an important film to me. One of my first jobs was as a projectionist at a cinema in Dalston, and we used to do a Chinese film night. We showed Enter The Dragon one evening and it really stuck with me.
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January 8, 1:55 am VICE UK 
There’s been a lot debate lately as to whether or not the 2000s irrevocably sucked. Bad presidents. Bad wars. Bad bankers. Did it really suck that much? The press have carved it up by every metric you can imagine in the past few weeks, but as the final days ebb away, we’re all still wondering about how it stacked up compared to the most important benchmark of all�"the 1610s.
After full consideration of all the facts, expert opinion is that one decade just had MORE.
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January 4, 3:24 am VICE US
I normally don’t make New Years Resolutions because I am perfect. Kidding.
I just never subscribed to the notion that for one day I should pretend to take note of the laundry list of flaws I need to work on. I try my best throughout the year to work on the areas I can or accept the fact that this is as good as I’m gonna get… and that ain’t great.
Then I had a kid on September 11th (NEVER FORGET) and I started to realize that I was most likely going to be doing a lot of yelling over the next 18 years and to save face I should probably try and correct some of the things I currently do that I’ll be yelling at him about.
So here are the six things I’d like to work on this year (in no particular order):
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January 4, 1:22 am Chris Nieratko VICE US
I guess since no one is going to ask, I’ll just go ahead and tell you all my resolutions for 2010. First is to make the the Vice twitter a more palatable stream of garbage.
Number two is to spend more time at the office churning out words instead of watching some bullshit on youtube then turning to Amy at the next desk and going “Hey Amy. Amy. Amy. Aaaaaaamy. Amy. Yo Ames. Hey. Hey. Hey. Aaaaaamy,” then throwing a pen at Amy, then getting into an argument about whether or not it’s OK to throw pens at people, then going, “Have you seen this shit with the lemur?”
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January 3, 9:54 am VICE US
EVENTS
26 - 28 February 2008
RAMFEST IV featuring PENDULUM
RAMfest has become a national pilgrimage.
It’s time once again to journey headlong into the crazy world of RAMfest! Taking place on the 26, 27, 28th February this will be our 4th jaunt across the Solent and after what was certainly one of our most memorable events in 2009, 2010 is set to be our Year of the Spectacular. As ever, Audiomatik Events company has been working their socks off to collect together a cornucopia of truly staggering acts to blow all our minds!
We’ve had a bit of a spruce up and spring clean at Nekkies holiday Resort this year and moved the furniture about a bit, creating a smashing new site layout, so when you get here it should feel beautifully brand new and reassuringly familiar all at the same time!
Thanks to all of our dedicated followers, RAMfest is South Africa's numero uno alternative music festival.
RAMfest IV will surpass its predecessors, both in scale and in skandes. Read more
In The Magazine 
