Posts Tagged ‘New York’
New York is practically a brimming cesspit full of rat-infested abandoned shit. I guess New Yorkers are just so incredibly busy being brash, loud and eating enormous pizzas that they forget about the existence of buildings. Easy mistake. Very few people are aware of these places, apart from the select few that make their hidden living traipsing through hidden buildings. Today, VBS goes exploring with these people, architectural salvagers – people who seem to make a pretty good living reselling old lamps other such decrepit artifacts. Oh, and there’s also some guy named Joe who calls himself a topophiliac. Basically, he just spends his weekends drifting through old buildings taking pictures of dilapidated things. “You’ve gotta keep your wits about you!” warns Joe in his ridiculously geeky accent. Head here to check it out now.
Posted on October 2nd, 2009 | No Comments
Tagged: New York, old buildings, pizza, topophilia, VBS
Man oh man. Do you remember when we told you that we were doing a competition where all you had to do was draw a design for a Flight of the Conchords t-shirt and you could get sent to New York? Well, it’s still going on now. But time is running out, and on the 21st it will, actually, have run out. So if you still want a trip to the capital of America then get your felt tips out. No matter what your feelings are about the programme, everyone must agree that there has never been a more noble and effective effort to denigrate Australians, and for that, we must all be grateful. As a bit of inspiration, above is our very own Ben Rayner’s submission. Good luck and so on.
Posted on August 14th, 2009 | 1 Comment
Tagged: Competition, Flight of the Conchords, New York
Every time you smoke a joint of sensimilla, you’ve got pussy on your brain! The resin female plants excrete is their sex juice, and these lovely ladies can reproduce from almost any point on their body. I know this is super basic shit that just about everyone who’s ever taken a bong rip knows, but it leads me to an important pair of questions: Is this why the clientele of almost every weed dealer I know is predominately male? And is the copious amount of marijuana I ingest the reason why I’m willing to bend the rules and deliver my goods to women who live in extremely dangerous “red zone” areas? Read more »
Posted on June 19th, 2009 | 16 Comments
Tagged: Drugs, New York, weed
An Australian friend of mine just brought me this “Snackabout” from her baffling homeland. It’s basically the Dunkaroo’s drunken, casually racist cousin. And while my friend readily admits that Vegemite is the foulest substance her countrymen put in their mouths outside of bugs, she also claims that it can kill the most crippling hangover with a single yeasty smear. Read more »
Posted on June 19th, 2009 | 22 Comments
Tagged: cure, food, hangover, New York, vegemite
This week, every fashion student in New York is suffering Thesis Week. But while everyone wants to die right now, they all still manage to look nice because they’re fashion people. I’ve been using that to try to help me forget that I’m in fluorescent hell. Instead of focusing on how many pages I have left to write, I stare at what everyone’s wearing. I can see this getting ugly if I were a tech nerd–it’s late at night and I’m surrounded by Korean girls illuminated by the glow of a brand new Mac. After a six-hour binge in this place I start to get punchy, drawing pictures of everyone I see.
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Posted on April 24th, 2009 | 8 Comments
Tagged: illustrations, New York, students
The great thing about an addiction is that if you’re the discoverer of the substance you tend to abuse, you can become the principle dealer and enabler to yourself and all your friends. My new narcotic has many different names, though technically I believe it is called Phantom Box. At first the plan is always to give it out to friends, but as soon as I get home, I rip into it with the anticipatory wantonness of a panicky heroin banshee. But, just like a good little drug, my hasty immorality is rewarded with transcendental pleasure. It is always worth it.
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Posted on April 22nd, 2009 | 9 Comments
Tagged: addiction, Cracker Jacks, New York, Phantom Boxes, Toy Tokyo
A lady starts off naked except for flesh-colored panties, preggers as an opossum in spring, along her thigh tiny white plastic horses grazing on shimmering fake moss mounted among a forest of model railroad-size trees. The body is a microcosm, you know. She’s wearing antlers on her head. Woman is a beast. She’s a lumbering beast of creation, containing the world inside her and outside her. The ant is a beast with no concept of Earth. The earth is a beast with no concept of the universe. The brain contains the universe. There I was thinking this in spite of myself, sitting at a 50-foot-long polished walnut dining room table. I’m with about a dozen others, and we’re all seated like it’s a proper meal minus the dishes and silverware. Instead we will feast on ART. I just took a weird Brazilian benny and I’m trying to write about this and I’m falling asleep… Read more »
Posted on April 10th, 2009 | 15 Comments
Tagged: Home: the Body as Place, New York, Noémie Lafrance
On Friday my buddy was like, “Want to split a 60 from the jar guy?” I was like TOTALLY! You see, the jar guy is not for the masses and a close connection is required to obtain his services. The other option is the overpriced baggie of some powder that resembles cocaine but would more likely test positive for drano and baking powder. I even had an empty jar from weeks earlier sitting around for such an occasion, so splitting it up would be a breeze… unless disaster struck. Read more »
Posted on April 7th, 2009 | 30 Comments
Tagged: cocaine, disaster, Drugs, New York
I’m no dummy but this whole economic crisis has got me in a tizzy. I mean, I know we’re in a recession, I know about the bailout, I know about AIG and the banks and GM, and I know about the G-20, but shit’s still confusing. So when I heard there was going to be a march on Wall Street today I figured that this would be as good a chance as any to educate myself on what’s going on. At the very least surely I’d get to see things burning, like in London… Read more »
Posted on April 6th, 2009 | 22 Comments
Tagged: 2009, G20, New York, protest, riot
I once looked through my mom’s scrapbook when I was in high school and I found some pictures of a dick and balls cake with candles on top. It fucking weirded me out. Eight years later I realize whatever dude, she was just partying with her friends and ate a dick cake. If she can appreciate a good dick, so can I. So I ventured out of my prude cocoon to interview the bunch of girls behind Ligerbeat, a brand-new porn mag for ladies who appreciate all things dick. So kids, you know what’s coming next. If you are not old enough to buy porn, don’t read on. Read more »
Posted on March 5th, 2009 | 17 Comments
Tagged: blogs, cakes, New York, penis, porn
I went to an art opening last night with a friend knowing nothing about it except there would be tons of pictures of kitties. That was enough for us. Then we get there and it’s super packed and fucking James Iha is there. My friend freaks because she thinks she’s dressed like a middle school art teacher and can’t handle it so she ditches me and leaves. But I push further into the crowd and then hey, look at that…
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Posted on February 20th, 2009 | 15 Comments
Tagged: Animalania, New York
Today marked the close of the Universal Sadness Issue, and we’re leaving you with one last scorched nugget of heart-rending ruination. It’s the tale of one Patty Pirro. He’s an on-and-off homeless man who’s lived in the Greenpoint neighborhood of Brooklyn since birth. The guy oozes sorrow from every pore, and unlike a large portion of NYC’s homeless population, Patty is not mentally disturbed or unable to look for work. He’s just had a shitty go of it is all. We know that sounds a little naïve, but after hearing every last detail of his exponentially increasing downward spiral over the past two decades, there’s really no other way to put it. We’ve compressed his life story down to about 2,000 words, which is a little unfair. Still, it’s enough space to get into regular beatings from his father, a dead girlfriend, a stint at Rikers Island for attempted murder, a few bouts of homelessness, and more despondency than you will ever experience in your entire life. Keep reading if you want to put your own problems into perspective.
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Posted on February 12th, 2009 | Comments Off
Tagged: homeless, New York, patty pirro, universal sadness
Someone made a bunch of stickers that said FUCK on them, and in several different sizes too, and stuck those stickers on signs (first calibrating surface area so as to affix the appropriately-dimensioned sticker) as hilarious street art because the word FUCK is really funny. Like, can you imagine walking down the street and seeing a Ped X-ing sign, only it now says Ped FUCK-ing sign? That would just really make your day, right? Crack you up for the hours you’d otherwise spend in your miserable work stall, plotting ways in which to make the office manager’s life hell just because you have nothing better to do? And then what if you found out there was a book of all these FUCK street art situations? You’d rush right out to Urban Outfitters to get it and the giggles wouldn’t stop for days.
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Posted on February 3rd, 2009 | 15 Comments
Tagged: graffiti, New York, street art, swearing
