I was recently forwarded this “clean cut” guy’s advertisement for a “scruffy”, “disheveled” and “unwashed” woman. Intrigued, I called the number at the bottom to find out just how desperate and depraved the man was.
*WARNING: THE CONVERSATION THAT FOLLOWS IS BOTH EXPLICIT AND DISTURBING, AND WILL PROBABLY OFFEND ANYONE WHO READS IT*
OK, here's the plan. Instead of embarrassing your wife and kids by growing a ponytail and driving around in a PT Cruiser with your shirt unbuttoned, you are going to focus all your mid-life crisis energy into hunting down reasonable facsimiles of all the girls you never got to fuck in high school. First on the docket: That older girl at punk shows with whatever-the-hell-her- zine-was-called.
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Every bar has that one regular who hikes up his shorts, wears Chinese accountant socks and gets real ornery every time the bartender’s boyfriend comes by.
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