Welcome true believers and newcomers alike. Once again we find our hero Ron, better known around the Vice offices as the accounts receivable manager, using his super-powers of ironclad reasoning and supernatural deduction to solve an unfathomable mystery submitted by one of his dear readers. In this week’s adventure Ron addresses a troubled young person who wishes to flee the halls of higher education for a freewheelin’ life in California. Tallyho! Read more »
Good-golly Ms. Molly. This week Ron has received yet another dilemma involving a blossoming romantic relationship—two to be precise. It’s like the guy is turning into Dr. Phil, except he’s “bigger, blacker, and much more handsome.” While that may be true, they are both bald. Anyway, keep reading for Ron’s short and sweet answer to this week’s problemo.
Ron’s back on the attack once again, sorting out a young gal’s dilemma concerning her boyfriend. The long and short of it? He hooked up with another lady at a (gasp!) mall-punk concert and she ain’t too happy about the whole ordeal. Let’s see how our man Ronald advises her on this sticky little situation. (PS: We just discovered Ron started his own Twitter.) Read more »
You know that show LA Ink? Well, it sucks, and so does the conundrum this week’s letter-writer got himself into. You see, he’s got a girlfriend who he loves with all his heart but she is continually running off by herself to get inexcusably retarded tattoos. They’re so bad he’s considering leaving her. As always, our man Ron’s got the situation on lock.
Yesterday the internet was having a bad day. It was tired and crabby and needed its diapey changed. So we put it to bed early and today’s it’s been on its best behavior, so now we’re all set for Ron to tell this guy how to get his girlfriend to stop batting her eyes at everything wearing human flesh.
Hey, we weren’t bullshitting you. If we select your question, you get a free Hey Ron! t-shirt that you can’t buy in stores, on the internet, or even on the black market (get it?). The sizes, however, are limited so if your entry gets picked and you ask for a certain size and it’s too small or too large, don’t whine about it not fitting right like the winner from last week did. Know what else isn’t fitting right? Today’s seeker and nice girls; he keeps attracting shitty ones. But Ron sets him straight…
We have a sort of complex and slightly confusing inquiry this week, but of course Ron is here to clarify and rectify the shit out of our troubled young soul. Our questioner wants to know how he can get spiffy for a night out at the club AND wishes to get some tips from Ron about how to prepare himself for both assaulting and being assaulted, should either case arise. That’s a lot to ask in one sitting, but Ron’s got it covered. Read more »
The Hey Ron! mailbag’s been getting too heavy with the same questions Ron’s already answered about degenerate landlords and bum roommates and shady friends. Most of life’s problems boil down to a lack of swaddling in the dollar’s cushy papoose, so we’re taking a little time-out to present Ron’s top tips for keeping the bacon on the pig. Take it away, Ron… Read more »
Holy fucking guacamole! This installment of Hey Ron! addresses a man who thinks he’s discovered that the lady he’s engaged to has sex on film for money. Ron sets our buddy straight and manages to teach us a thing or two about the ways of the heart in the process.
Hey Ron!
I was surfing through the internet the other night looking for some really good porn, and I stumbled across a video that I’m 99 percent certain features my fiancée, who I’ve been seeing for three years. I watched in disgust as she was defiled by two men on either side of her and almost threw my monitor across the room. She is on vacation right now, and I haven’t said anything to her yet. What should I do? If it’s her I need to know, but if it’s not her she will be so offended she might break up with me (and she’ll know that I look at porn!). Anyway, if it turns out to be her and she owns up to the fact, do you think there’s any chance of working things out?
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Being “laid off” is your free ticket to the funnest summer you’re going to have in a long time. But what happens when you’re fired, and solely because your boss is jealous of the inter-office trim you’re getting? Ron’s got the answer.
Inspired by Terry Richardson’s cover of our Photo Issue (it’s out on the streets, by the way), we shot this portrait of Ron after more brilliant advice about using a buddy to get what you want. Hey, if it works for a photo… Read more »
This week Ron unravels one tricky ball of yarn involving a dude, his best bud, and the ex-girlfriend who has come between them. Due to Ron’s budding popularity, we’ve built him a new private office so he can have complete silence to contemplate his invaluable life advice.
Every office has one schmuck that everyone hates. He or she is either sweating all the time or complaining about a job/life predicament or just generally being an annoying bastard who gets paid to make you depressed at work. As always, our crack accounts receivable manager Ron is here to the rescue. Read more »
This guy looks lke Kim Jong-Il ate my dad at a rap show.
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Maybe it's not the city you live in or the people you're hanging out with that are making your life so mind-boringly lame. Maybe it's just the lack of forts.
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