Anabolic steroids will make you big, ravage your liver, shrink your balls, and, god forbid, help you grow a magnificent set of bitch tits. They won’t, however, make you stab proof. My buddy Julian learned this the hard way.
Posts Tagged ‘Crime’
Professional criminals
I know advertising pays for things like websites, and maybe I’m just being an arrogant twat, but I don’t believe it really works. At least not advertising like this. I genuinely don’t think that hiring an ex-criminal to stuff cash into strangers’ pockets is going to make people sign up to TalkTalk. Almost nothing on earth could make me go through the amount of paperwork that changing a phone contract would no doubt involve. It’d be like having a holiday here. Read more »
The fashion police
In Marburg, Louis Vuitton just sued a Red Cross outpost for selling a fake Louis Vuitton bag for as little as three Euros and almost caused that place to shut down because they couldn’t afford a 2,600 Euro penalty. At least the company went back on this after realizing that this would result in a public image of pure evil. But it’s a fact that Louis Vuitton is the world’s most counterfeited brand.
Vox poppin’ - How criminal are Vice’s neighbours?
Obviously, because we’re super counter-cultural, the VICE office is in a dilapidated, ungentrified, slum section of London called “Shoreditch”, where we are the shock troops of the media. Only murderers and really super cutting-edge artists live here, so we rounded up the gnarliest people we could find and quizzed them about the criminal world that surrounds us. Read more »
Sutton’s apocalypticananza fun house!
In an amazingly forward-thinking move, Sutton Council have built a huge, hi-tech training facility for kids. The Life Centre will include an indoor street where youngsters can practice joining street gangs, buying drugs, and crossing roads. Read more »
