America likes to think that nobody can make a crappier, B-er movie than they can. Bullshit. Canadians can hack out more awful exploitation flicks per capita than any country. Take a significant brain drain to greener American pastures, add some enforced cultural protectionism, and you’ve got a formula for halfassed films by mediocre talent that live forever on late-night Canadian TV.
Posts Tagged ‘Canada’
STEROIDS DON’T MAKE YOU STAB-PROOF
Anabolic steroids will make you big, ravage your liver, shrink your balls, and, god forbid, help you grow a magnificent set of bitch tits. They won’t, however, make you stab proof. My buddy Julian learned this the hard way.
Meet the Nieratkos - Save Canada from itself
I have a love/hate relationship with Canada. I loved that my three Canadian friends brought their crappy newspaper Big Brother rip-off to America and got rich making the mega pyramid that is the uber-hip VICE enterprises. I hate that Canada thinks it is so awesome (which it is not) that it doesn’t let people like me, who have a few minor DUIs and casual felonies under their belt, into their stupid country.
I did too much Datura
When you get high on Datura, there’s no real period of coming up. Everything seems normal, and then you look over at the table and there’s fuzz on it, and you know things are different. Datura is to mushrooms what cholera is to diarrhea. These are a couple of drawings of the monsters I tried to do after my trip.
I tripped on this shit almost four years ago. A bunch of us had been at an after hours and we all went back to a friend’s place. Eventually everybody left except me and my friend Stewie. It was Sunday afternoon by then and we were trying to figure out what to do. He asked me if I wanted to do some psychedelic tea, and my first thought was, “Yeah, whatever, psychedelic tea, like Sleepytime? Suuuuurrre.” I didn’t think it would be anything intense. I was totally fucking wrong.
We each drank a mug and waited half an hour, but nothing happened. I drank a bit more, but still nothing happened, so I drank even more. I ended up taking way more than Stewie.
