Am I the last person on earth to discover the awesome personal ads in the London Review of Books? Somebody sent me a link to LRB’s personals a few days ago, and I was immediately struck by ads such as this one:
Yesterday I was a disgusting spectacle in end-stage alcoholism with a gambling problem and not a hope in the world. Today I am the author of this magnificent life-altering statement of yearning and desire. You are a woman to 55 with plenty of cash and very little self-respect. When you reply to this advert your life will never be the same again. My name is Bernard. Never call me Bernie.
I was blown away to find that when an Englishman participates in the sad ritual of writing a personal ad, it ends up containing all the wit and complexity of a Noël Coward play.
