The new issue of Aussie ladies’ favourite, Cleo Magazine, featuring interviews with Australia’s 50 most eligible bachelors, came out yesterday. Five pages in, somewhere between the Captain Kahuna and Joe Bikini-Raid, was the pick of the muscular bunch, wearing a shirt and reading his own work on a sofa, our very own Royce Akers.
Posts Tagged ‘Australia’
VICE AUSTRALIA EDITOR - 2010 BACHELOR OF THE YEAR?
Dangerous metrosexuals
So Morrissey supposedly digs the “fourth sexuality”, right? Well, even that big old pansy would have to draw the line at the fifth. Metrosexuality is Australia’s new plague, according to The Herald Sun. A Melbourne party promoter has successfully banned metrosexuals from attending his new event, on the grounds that their presence encourages bar fights. “Low-cut V-neck T-shirts, skinny jeans, pointed white shoes” and “anyone who looks like David Beckham” will apparently be excluded from Lorca. There will also be a name-and-shame board, where serial offenders will have their photos posted – a line-up that will presumably look not unlike a failed boyband’s publicity press pack. Well, we don’t know about you guys in Australia, but in this sceptred isle, we have laws against discrimination on the basis of sexuality. Read more »
Australia’s economy is going to the dogs
As Australians continue to receive their $900 economy stimulus package payments from our cute-as-a-button, yet something-of-a-let-down of a Prime Minister, it’s interesting to see what people are deciding to squander their free money on. Read more »
A guide to cricket and the Ashes
Today, in Cardiff, the Ashes begin. So it’s a good time to think about cricket. Cricket: white uniformed survivor of the empire, an incomprehensible reminder that Britannia once ruled the waves, her sailors diligently marking out bowling tracks on the decking of their frigates. The balls were limes, the bats were planks of wood and the ship’s cat was the umpire, but goddamn it Cricket was played. We’re talking about a sport which, though numerically popular thanks to the avid devotion of a billion Indians, is regarded by the rest of the world as an historical oddity only popular among south-east Asians – like jousting or kabaddi. Anyone who’s been to Calcutta on jousting day will know what I’m talking about. Carnage. Read more »
Australia - Gay takeover fails miserably
Look, gays, you did a good job hijacking the word “queer” from the evil haters and we know you want to “take back the streets” but throwing a bunch of sex toys around some gravel road in rural northwestern Australia isn’t going to get you any closer to your goal. And look, the people of the town are even appropriating your litter, making fun of you by just renaming that grassy switchback as if they don’t even care. Try harder next time, OK?
