The mess Ron has to clean up this week is sloppier than a dung beetle’s hind legs during a dysentery pandemic: A college girl in the middle of nowhere wants a guy she likes to break up with his long-term girlfriend and get with her. Keep reading to find out why Ron says her wishes fall under the category of “big-time no-no.” Read more »
Shane Meadows is arguably the best British filmmaker working today. Born in Uttoxeter, Staffordshire, he’s been responsible for a slew of intense, gritty and modern classics including A Room For Romeo Brass, Dead Man’s Shoes and This is England. His new film, Le Donk & Scor-Zay-Zee, stars his regular collaborator Paddy Considine as a washed-up, deluded roadie, alongside real-life long-time Nottingham rapper (and former Out Da Ville member) Scor-Zay-Zee, as the pair try to get a spot supporting the Arctic Monkeys at Old Trafford. Read more »
Anna Biller makes movies about sex and sexy women who are smart, which is a super weird coincidence because she’s exactly the same way. Take, for example, VIVA, essentially an ode to the swinging 70s that encapsulates all the best bits of Playboy, Russ Meyer and John Waters films, and lonely-heart love letters written by housewives in need of satisfaction. It was directed, written, produced, and edited by one Miss Anna Biller, and it was her first film. She also stars in the movie, which is lucky because she’s awesome.
Information is power. Money is biscuits. Sausages are members of the French aristocracy. One of these statements is timelessly true. And about to get even truer as cheap, hi-tech surveillance comes ever closer to home. Read more »
So far my search for an intern has been extremely successful. Far more than I had predicted it would be, anyway, as I didn’t think anyone was actually dumb enough to volunteer for the position of changing my tampons/acting as my human bench, without any promise of pay or future gain. But apparently I was wrong. Looks like there are loads of sick idiots out there just begging for the opportunity to render their lives completely pointless. Lucky me.
I have narrowed it down to three applicants. They are as follows: Read more »
Ramzan Kadyrov has been our favorite Russian warlord to Google image search (see above for one of many reasons why), but to get some more insider info we asked our friend and Chechnya expert Anna Söderberg to break down this scary guy. This is what she said.
You know you’re not supposed to stare at people with disabilities. But why not? What if you accidentally see an amputee who was attractive and looked great? Why should you turn your head away? And furthermore, why isn’t this person supposed to be attractive? Clearly there is a barrier between people with disabilities, especially amputees, and those who feel themselves attracted to them and want to know them better, and vice-versa. That is blatant prejudice and it needs to change—which is why Markus (last name withheld) designed Ampworld.de, a site dedicated to changing how people fetishise amputees.
Glastonbury is a big messy event in the countryside which lots of people attend in order to celebrate music. Like almost everthing else in the musical calendar, everyone likes to claim it’s rubbish, but actually, provided you don’t have to watch Niel Young, it’s definitely more fun then all the anti-Glastonbury club nights people put on in London with hopeless bands.
Two months ago, on Easter night, 800 families took advantage of Jesus’s rebirth and the predictable laziness of Brazilian police during all holidays to invade and take up residence in this property that’s been abandoned for more than 15 years. Now eight vehicles from the military police and a fire truck are parked in front of the building. There are also two trucks employed to “help” move out the inhabitants.
Hail heathens! Tonight sees a super-last-minute show at the Old Blue Last for VBS.TV on the best of today’s UK metal. Hosted by the Old Blue’s resident metal titans Skill Wizard, this showcase features excellent thrash outfit Mutant, death-metallers Dyscarnate and the doomy psychedelic sounds of Laser From Atlantis. Your DJs tonight will be Skill Wizard, Louise from Terrorizer and my good self playing thrash and old-school metal. All this for free. Yes, free.
If you missed Mutant’s performance at Skill Wizard’s thrash night back in February, do not miss out this time. They’re a thrash-metal force to be reckoned with. Dyscarnate also return to the Old Blue to crack some more skulls and spill the blood. You have been warned. Doors 8 PM-2 AM, by the way.
E3 used to be a shameless nerd spectacle in the 90s when there were 60,000 people hanging out in LA playing new video games and ogling over the C-list porn stars dressed as Lara Croft. Plus, since the internet hadn’t strangled print media yet, video game magazines had the money to print 300-page tomes of coverage every year. People were happy. Read more »
Our online editor spotted an amazing poster on the way to work this morning. It got him all hot under the collar and made his toes tickle. Turns out the guys at Real Gold, the ones behind FUN Magazine, have made an extremely small run of these and scattered them around London. Read more »
You may remember some time ago we wrote a witty blog post about PETA Vice President Ingrid Newkirk, the crazy lady who wanted to have her body cut into little pieces and sent all over the world in order to shock us callous humans into thinking twice before we buy a pet leopard off a website and keep it in a big Muji tupaware. Well we have a shocking UPDATE… Read more »
If she was a foot shorter this coat would have dramatically different connotations, but right now I’m about 90 percent sure the intended message is, Why the hell are we driving into Linda’s back?
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A lot of girls act like there's some womanly secret to figuring out a guy has a big dick, but sometimes it's pretty clear who's packing what.
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