For the past few weeks I have been attempting to stick to a vegetarian diet. The roots of this were planted long ago when I decided to take more interest in where my meat came from and how it was raised. I stopped buying cheap meat in the supermarket and treated it like a luxury, buying only from sources that could assure me of their ethical farming methods. It’s a great deal more expensive, but was nicer and seemed considerably less like eating victims of torture. Out went the bargain bacon, the Pepperamis, the sausage rolls, the service station pork pies, and all the other convenient meat products. The fact is that no one, not even the producers of such products, can accurately inform you of what’s in them. You’re probably eating hooves, offal, gristle and bone most of the time, and I decided that wasn’t for me. So I stuck to the odd duck breast or steak from the farmers’ market, some good mince from the local butcher, things like that.
But sometime in the past couple of months, this line of thought has progressed into questioning the entire notion of meat-eating. I think it might have been when I chomped down on a bit of bone hiding inside a farmer’s handmade sausage. I was absolutely disgusted with this greasy little rock that I found crunching around in my mouth, and spat out in the kitchen sink. Even the trusted farmers make mistakes, I suppose, but it suddenly made me think: if I’m disgusted by the idea of eating offal, gristle and bone, then why shouldn’t I be disgusted by flesh, liver, skin, fat and kidneys too? Ultimately, what’s the difference? It’s all part of the same, once-living creature after all.
So I’ve been wondering why I ate meat in the first place, and the only answer I can find is that I’ve been conditioned to. Depending on who you ask, the human race may or may not be naturally carnivorous. And nutritionists on all sides have different ideas. Some say a lack of meat can even lead to depression, but that doesn’t really bother me because I’ve always been a miserable bastard anyway and I doubt that I or anyone else would even notice. There’s plenty of science out there to help inform a decision, but the only honest conclusion that anyone can ever reasonably draw is that a balanced diet of both meat and non-meat produces the best results in human health.
I looked at a few websites while doing some research on the matter, hoping to find some inspiration to nudge me one way or the other. There’s plenty of nutritional advice to be found, but I also made the grave mistake of visiting PETA’s website. I was confronted with a glossy, patronising MTV infomercial making insane claims such as “Meat makes you sterile!” (actually the opposite might be true and there’s evidence to suggest that a vegetarian diet can cause fertility problems). This aggressive, condescending propaganda only succeeded in making me want to punch the sanctimonious pricks in the mouth. This then led me to do some branch research on People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, and it turns out that they fund animal rights terrorists and euthanise around ninety per cent of the animals they claim to “liberate”. They’re a very confused, contradictory organisation and were absolutely no help at all. And if they’re planning on turning us all vegan then they really should think about changing their tactics.
Anyway, for a few weeks I haven’t had any meat, and I must admit that I’m finding it a bit of a struggle. I’ve just turned down the tasty-looking tuna and bean salad that my girlfriend prepared for dinner because I haven’t quite made up my mind about meat yet. Plus, of course, fish are a particularly sensitive area. It’s no secret that the sea is running out of them thanks to us, but it’s also true that probably my favourite meal in the UK is a monkfish supper from The Wee Hurry in Troon, and were that on offer tonight, I’m not sure that I’d be able to resist. I’ve also noticed that I’ve been eating a lot more shit recently to make up for the meat-shaped hole in my diet: there’s been a lot of crisps, cheap noodles, Ritz crackers, and a Lion bar recently, while the rest of the household have enjoyed sausages and salmon and various other tasty dead animals.
So I don’t know what to do. I can’t deny that I miss bacon, beef mince, chicken and duck, and the only real moral obstacle is whether or not I’m comfortable with killing something for my own pleasure. And this, of course, is the crux of the dilemma, and is something I can only reconcile with myself. If I’m to be honest, I think I might be back on meat wagon pretty soon.
AIDAN MOFFAT
Reader Comments
August 4th, 2009
4:44 pm
having been a vegetarian for 17 of my 23 years i don’t really see what the big deal is. either eat meat or don’t. if you can’t hack not eating meat, then eat meat. if you can’t hack eating it because you feel bad for the fluffy little animals then fine, but don’t make other people feel guilty about it. i am a vegetarian because i don’t like animals, hence why i don’t care to eat them. what i do despise though are the infamous, cretinous “i’m a vegetarian. i only eat white meat” dickheads that undermine the point of actually being a vegetarian. the next time someone says that to you, slap them in the face and call them a liar.
August 4th, 2009
5:17 pm
Stick with it, it’ll be effortless in no time. Sounds like you know it’s the right thing to do.
August 4th, 2009
5:52 pm
Enjoy meat, but in light of the resources that are wasted and destroyed in the process of producing and transporting it, enjoy it for what it is, an unethical, ecosystem destroying treat. Mmm, rain-forest-death-flavoured burgers. Don’t bother replacing it with tofu, soya production is almost just as bad.
August 4th, 2009
6:39 pm
I’ve been vegetarian since I was 6 or 7 years old. (not because of pressure from hippy parents, I’m the only vegetarian I know) I don’t think I’d have been able to keep this up for more than a month outside of the UK since in America it’s so awkward to get a meal without meat whenever you eat out, and all the cheese/milk/eggs comes from animals that are so badly treated they’d be better off dead. Loads of respect to American vegetarians who don’t have much choice but to go vegan.
August 4th, 2009
9:09 pm
if you’re taking this stance it’s vegan or nothing.
August 4th, 2009
10:02 pm
wow, I feel for you bro. I’ve been a vegetarian most of my life and vegan since the beginning of this year, it’s really easy and I am not nutritionally lacking. I never go on at people about it because I think it harms the cause, and I’ve never been to any rabid faux anarchist vegan balaclava letter bomb people websites. If you live in a country like England or the states, most of Europe…etc. and have a reasonable amount of food money then you really have no excuse. Just my opinion though. and yes humans may be naturally omnivorous, but we obviously have an extra part to our minds which lets us have a more in depth understanding of right and wrong. duh.
August 4th, 2009
11:47 pm
I was vegetarian for eight years and I say with full conviction now that it can suck my balls (this is not an attack on the lifestyle of others, it just simply did not suit me.)
My main eye-opener was hunting your own food (pheasants etc) which means you know exactly what you’re getting and it’s had the most natural life possible. If you don’t think you could face up to killing it yourself then don’t eat it.
Arguably the meat you don’t eat is still sitting dead on a supermarket shelf/being injected with ink after the sell by date, becoming useless to anyone and meaning that more animals are slaughtered needlessly. Of course if the demand for meat fell dramatically then this would change but frankly I don’t see that happening in the near future.
The only valid argument other than animal cruelty would be the humanitarian side where the grain used to feed animals for slaughter could be used more productively to feed the starving masses, but seeing as my meat consumption is relatively low and mainly local this doesn’t affect me so much.
Side note: most wine and cheese is not vegetarian!
August 5th, 2009
8:40 am
At least you have the choice. I bet there are people around the world that would give their left testicle for a Ginsters breakfast bar.
August 5th, 2009
9:50 am
START EATING TOFU
August 5th, 2009
11:34 am
I’ve always stuck to the “If I can’t kill it myself I won’t eat it” philosophy. Has been working pretty good for the last 10 years, even though I have to admit that I wasn’t too big on meat in the first place.
After all I think nobody would complain about an indigenous tribe hunting for the food they need for a living, just beacaus they have an honest and natural relationship towards killing and death. In a way I think it’s about paying your respects to the animal by actually taking resposibility for it’s killing (The animal might see it differently though).
Today most non-vegetarians don’t want anything to do with that stuff. They couldn’t kill an animal if their life depended on it and don’t want their children to see any of the gruesome things going on behind the scenes. It’s okay as long as it just stays a product.
Anyways, I always try not to be too preachy about it.
It is a personal decision to be made and you can’t really force yourself into being a vegetarian.
August 5th, 2009
12:38 pm
who cares?
August 14th, 2009
10:21 pm
I also frequent the Wee Hurrie, and am chuffed that one half of my favourite song writers also rates it!
August 23rd, 2009
12:51 pm
Love the column Aidan, although I don’t think I could manage to be a veggie, red meat is what I live for.
And I must apologise, I was the skinny drunken bespectacled eejit that was shouting my love for you in Sleazys last night.
October 12th, 2009
4:33 am
Eat Indian food. Practically everything is or can be made vegetarian with little effort. Protein is important and is usually substituted in the form of paneer cheese, chickpeas, beans, ground up cashews, etc. Tasty shit, my friend. Gives you a good sweat and fulfills the biggest appetite. Plus, the copious amounts of cayenne + cumin found in many recipes make you randy as a 70’s soap star.
October 16th, 2009
9:05 am
That’s right, I used to work for an Indian family who kept me well fed on delicious vegetarian food. I’ve never eaten better.