My friend Matt is covered in medical tattoos. He’s got stethoscopes on his thigh, an otoscope on his calf, and an x-ray pelvis. He is whole-heartedly in love with medical paraphernalia design and has committed his body to looking like a weird, amazing medical cabinet, ready and stocked for any emergency.

Using his own collection of life-saving instruments as inspiration for the past two and a half years, Matt
has paid some serious visit-time to his tattooist, and there’s apparently no end in sight as long as he sees plain, untouched skin. But don’t ask him which is his favourite — like a proud father he loves them all dearly and equally.

Vice: What’s with the medical equipment obsession?
Matt: I’ve always liked medical instruments, probably from spending a lot of time as a child in hospitals. I’m not scared of hospitals or their instruments.

What did you get first?
I got my diabetic tattoo before I went on holidays to Mexico to traipse around on donkeys. It says “I am an insulin dependent diabetic. If I seem drunk give me sugar.”

So, what started out as something serious, has turned into something really serious?
Yes. Now when I see my leg I don’t see the tattooed space, I see the un-tattooed space.

How many instruments have you got?
I’ve got a tethoscope, reflex hammer, otoscope, sphygmomanometer, forceps, a bone saw, oxygen mask, latex gloves, surgical string, skin grafting razor, trephine skull drill, a medical warning label, and a syringe.

Surely your tattooist gets really excited whenever you go in.
We have a really good relationship. I take the instruments from my collection, or otherwise photographs of the instruments, and we talk together about where they should go. I also have a collection of old medical instrument catalogues with really cool illustrations. She gets a bit nervous because I’m a very discerning customer.

Does it help you study, cos you’re like an encyclopaedia of medical tools?
I hadn’t thought of that… that’s a good idea.

Any concern you might freak people out
Well I don’t think I’ll ever be turning up to work wearing hot-pants, but yeah they have freaked people out before. So be it.

HELEN J GROSE

PHOTOS BY MARTY WHITSITT