I’m no dummy but this whole economic crisis has got me in a tizzy. I mean, I know we’re in a recession, I know about the bailout, I know about AIG and the banks and GM, and I know about the G-20, but shit’s still confusing. So when I heard there was going to be a march on Wall Street today I figured that this would be as good a chance as any to educate myself on what’s going on. At the very least surely I’d get to see things burning, like in London…
I got down to the corner of Broadway and Wall Street around 1 PM, right on time, and quickly found myself in a swarm of old men and women screaming that tired chant, “WHOSE STREETS? OUR STREETS!” led by this dude who was kind of like a black Bruce Springsteen. He would yell and rant about the working class and do this weird thing where he’d start a sentence talking normal and then be singing by the end of it. That’s him up there.
By this point it was pretty sloppy outside and I decided I might be better off just talking to some of the protestors to try and figure things out instead of listening to the main speakers. It didn’t really do me much good. Just about everyone I talked to gave me the same reasoning and response, pretty much saying that the government should be giving them money instead of giving it to banks. Fucking babies.
I eventually made friends with this guy…
His name’s Jacob, and yes, he is available for parties. He tried to explain things to me but because of the rain and noise I couldn’t really hear him. So we stood there in the rain and I just nodded my head. By this point I was just as bummed and confused as I was earlier, except now my jeans and shoes were full of water. So I decided to head out before the march and deal with my sorrow and problems the old-fashioned way.
FOREVER YOUNG
Reader Comments
April 6th, 2009
I feel educated
April 6th, 2009
I dunno man, you let those companies flop say goodbye to our economy. No doubt we have to help out these people too its not fun to be homeless. Well, not this way at least.
April 6th, 2009
don’t you just love protesters that don’t know basic grammar? really makes them look sophisticated
April 6th, 2009
You don’t understand it because no one does except for the 1% that’s running this Ponzi scheme.
I say if anyone gets a bailout, forgive student debt. I don’t have any luckily, but that would make a lot more sense that continuing to prop up companies that are failing.
April 6th, 2009
a solid dewars will make all recession vanish, you wont be able to remember your name let alone any financial hulabaloo that might be getting you down.
April 6th, 2009
How weird is it that when you talk to someone in protest they just flap their gums with nonsense but you talk to someone about it over some meatloaf and they can actually construct a sentence, string them together, and make a point. Mass gatherings are only as strong as the dumbest dumbass.
April 6th, 2009
sometimes companies need help it’s true. but when tax money is going to million-dollar bonuses for people that already have more money than they know what to do with it’s getting way out of hand.
April 6th, 2009
All these companies got themselves into this mess so they can get them selves out of it. If i go out and spend all my money i cant go and get more from the govt
April 6th, 2009
Why doesnt Sec of Treasure Geithner not make cheesy sucky loopholes
April 6th, 2009
where are you hiding the whisky?
April 6th, 2009
Vice,
Worse than the bailout scandal is The Blank Issue scandal. What the hell happened to that? I’ve been drinking whiskey for years now, and still no word.
<3 Mouse
April 6th, 2009
**warning** non ironic comment
Thank god someone is making fun of people who act like they know what the fuck a credit default swap is and how it constitutes something worth protesting.
April 6th, 2009
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0zEXdDO5JU
this actually helped me understand a ton about why stuff is falling down the tube.
also, there is a part 2.
April 6th, 2009
do they understand that the government is bailing out the banks to bail the citizens out?
do they understand what a bank is?
i love the uneducated.
three cheers.
drink up, sam.
April 6th, 2009
what a shit article. and shit coverage. just turning to drink so close to the beginning. the article on the london protest was way funnier and a lot more interesting. and god…you americans really need to learn about how to smash stuff a little more.
April 6th, 2009
That black Bruce Springsteen is a Stalinist, part of that ANSWER/Worker’s World crew. Given that we are witnessing state capitalism it should be right up his/their alley.
April 6th, 2009
BLAHHHHHHHHHH
April 6th, 2009
imagine the amount of innovation you could get in this society if you just forgave a shit ton of student debt.
April 6th, 2009
nice tie-in to your most recent big advertiser. go Ian! thanks for that helpful booklet on talking!
April 6th, 2009
I usually hate Rolling Stone but this article really breaks this issue down into a palatable form. Take ten minutes to educate yourself on this crisis, how it happened, and you’ll be glad you did. There is NO reason to prop these companies up. They can’t enforce evictions if they don’t exist. What American needs is another war, a war against the FED.
http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/story/26793903/the_big_
takeover/printhttp://www.rollingstone.com/politics/story/26793903/th
e_big_takeover/print
April 6th, 2009
read a fucking book.
April 14th, 2009
Insightful.