The other day Kasper, Vice Belgium’s handsome editor sent us an email called “What’s up with Wales?” In it was a gallery of drunk Welsh people bleeding and spitting on each other. While I was giggling our Welsh intern Eleri looked over my shoulder and shrugged, five minutes on Facebook later and she’d made her own gallery of lager nightmares. All her nights out seem to look like the gay Garbage Pail Kids doing the Vietnam war with piss instead of napalm, at the risk of losing her mates she let us put up the gallery and told us what a night out where she comes from is like…
Hi, I’m Eleri and I’m from Swansea. I don’t really know where to start when it comes to describing a night out in South Wales. I thought it was pretty normal until I came to London. Now, in the presence of my English friends all my hometown memories seem like a fucking freak show.

There are two main differences when it comes to going on the piss in South Wales - staying local or going to town. Either one will be ridiculous. If you opt to stay local be prepared to witness drunk and naked rugby boys (possibly in fancy dress) who will piss, shit and puke anywhere.

Despite being award-winningly homophobic, these guys are very excited about rubbing and shaking their cocks all over each other. Luckily for us ladies though they drink through that stage after about 15 beers and will try and chat you up near the end of the night even though they have spent the last hour weeing on each other’s hands.
On the upside though, you’ll be paying something ridiculous like £1.74 for a pint, so it’s nice and cheap.
If you decide to go to town, be it Cardiff or Swansea, you are diving into a massive shit storm of fighting, crying, puking, shagging, smashing stuff, skinny-dipping and lots of slags. Everyone here is orange and ‘FUCKIN’ LUVS IT!’
Without fail, within half an hour of getting out of the taxi, you’ll see a group of girls in some slutty fancy dress, somebody dancing on top of a bus stop, a middle aged skin-head squaring up to a bouncer, a crying girl and a man in drag (he won’t be gay either btw, all the actual gay guys are used as fire wood).

Although this all seems like hell on earth, I still go back. Last weekend I ended up in “Swansea’s biggest rock club” Sin City. Every toilet (male and female) was sprayed with blood and the music was so loud I burst my eardrum and I had to go to hospital.
Home Sweet Home.
ELERI POWELL
Update: It’s Tuesday and Eleri was bleeding from her ear again last night, we’re trying to get her to go to hospital.























Reader Comments
March 31st, 2009
1:47 pm
Eleri’s not wrong. For further proof, see this lovely gathering in Cardiff’s St Mary Street: http://ajanlo.kapu.hu/pics.php?d=cardiff
March 31st, 2009
2:20 pm
Haha, i come from Cardiff and didn’t really notice how strange we really are ’till you pointed it out.. can’t believe we got a mention on here.
March 31st, 2009
2:45 pm
“All her nights out seem to be look like.”
Aish.
March 31st, 2009
2:47 pm
I think this is just true of all regional areas. Cornwall looks like this only less so because of the smaller population.
March 31st, 2009
4:39 pm
whoa, i think the guy pissing in the air is about to get a taste of his own pissy medicine. i think he’s already bracing for impact.
March 31st, 2009
4:39 pm
the only time i partied like that was in Coney sland with some freaks at a meal bar cerca 5 am.
March 31st, 2009
4:40 pm
that fat guy in a tutu absolutely made my day
March 31st, 2009
4:40 pm
meathead homophobes piss me off. they mess around with their friends slapping each others balls, crossing swords when taking a piss, go tanning together, and their fucking “pout” faces when posing for photos. and the minute they see anything gay-related, they’re all, “go home faggot!” they should all be hog-tied and jizzed on.
March 31st, 2009
4:40 pm
for once Vice is not exagerrating.
St mary’s st in cardiff on a sat ngiht is hell on earth
March 31st, 2009
8:39 pm
Gay people used as firewood , thats just shady .BTW yes I am straight
April 1st, 2009
12:33 am
Ha! Cardiff makes fucking Dublin seem classy.
April 1st, 2009
12:49 am
I never thought I’d hear that about Dublin. Cardiff must be really hard core!
April 1st, 2009
2:32 am
cardiff? try newport bitches
April 1st, 2009
10:24 am
if this is the regular, then what’s a real party like?
April 1st, 2009
10:25 am
I love the picture of the guy peeing upwards
April 1st, 2009
10:25 am
Don’t play rugby.
April 1st, 2009
10:25 am
My pal gary from london suggested that the welsh insignia be a sheep with wings…to assist it in fleeing being raped by a welshman…..
April 1st, 2009
10:26 am
fUck
April 1st, 2009
10:26 am
those dudes in the tub are straight? wow the gay parties must be nuts!!
April 1st, 2009
1:07 pm
you don’t know shit till you’ve hung out in Brecon
April 1st, 2009
1:41 pm
Hush you infantile half-wits, the above would happen on a quiet night out for me. Your mind will be opened as well as your tight, dry arseholes if ever your destiny leads you to the suburban haven known as Essex
April 2nd, 2009
4:48 pm
I fucking hate a night out in Essex. I’d rather you fuck my mum thanks.
April 3rd, 2009
1:10 pm
This is shit. Cardiff is the dullest development site i’ve ever had the displeasure of living in for 21 years. Well done you for getting a few pics of some wankers behaving like wankers, now can you please stop pretending that growing up in Wales makes you some kind of a transcendent, fearless urban warrior who’s seen all the debauchery there is to be seen, Cardiff and Swansea are no thing. Find something real to talk about you twats.
April 3rd, 2009
1:16 pm
Being from South Wales I’m not sure about the homophobia thing, the Rugby boys are fuckin idiots but they usually don’t give a fuck if someone’s gay or not.
April 3rd, 2009
2:26 pm
To be fair whenever we hear the welsh are coming to play rugby in Twickenham we do cower in our homes…
April 3rd, 2009
4:00 pm
I was in Twickenham and stuck my cock in every hole I could find. I even fucked a pile of fish and chips I saw lying in the rubbage bin. You twats don’t know how to party. Come to Wolverhamton and we’ll show you how to jizz on old people without them even knowing it.
April 3rd, 2009
4:58 pm
This is just scumville Saturday nite, in every city and town in the country. Those of you who have not seen it should get out of your middle class ghetto more often.
April 3rd, 2009
4:58 pm
Holy fuck at the sheer number of empty kebab, chips and subway wrappers and tubs lying about in the pictures on the Belgian page. Haha.
April 3rd, 2009
9:49 pm
i dont think its fair to say this is a Welsh problem. it happens all over the UK in small town communities. Eleri, done loose hope. i’ve lived in London and Cardiff and despite the obvious carnage in the photos on St Marys street, the people of Cardiff are warm and welcoming, especially when when compared to those in London.
April 3rd, 2009
10:09 pm
For the most part, what the fuck are you on about? You should get out more. Try Sheffield on a saturday night Love. Oh, and thanks for making the rest of us look like homophobic, alcoholic wakers. Thanks a lot.
April 4th, 2009
1:58 am
London gets just as bad charing cross ways…to be fair even though Eleri has shown it to look dire, there is actually a pretty cool atmosphere there. streets all sealed off from traffic, everyone knows each other. anyways, st marys street isn’t even considered relevant to most people who go out xxx
April 5th, 2009
6:49 pm
OMG YOO HAV NOT SEEN MAH CITY YET ITZ MUCH MORE CRAZIER LOL
get a grip, its the same fucking everywhere. saturday night the scum come out. la di da.
April 8th, 2009
8:11 am
yeah shit is like that eveywhere,i live in brighton and west street here is the same sort of nonsense…
April 8th, 2009
2:16 pm
The scary thing is that I have been there and done it. It’s only later in life you realise that you have spent years living in a puke filled, beer soaked, angry consumed pathetic exsistence. Its all so funny at the time “fuck it” is what I used to say myself. Now I realised years later I was fucking myself. But I got out alive and now I am gratefull for my new life.
April 9th, 2009
5:07 pm
Jeeeeeezus, what a shithole.
April 10th, 2009
8:53 pm
As an essex girl who’s lived in Cardiff for the past 2 years I can vouch for the fact that a night out in Essex gets pretty fucking messy but Cardiff is indeed on a whole new level. Any city where you can get a shark steak at 2am is pretty impressive!
April 13th, 2009
11:48 pm
just come back from a weekend in Tenby. I have linked the photo’s in the pictures shown here to the characters drinking around the pubs on saturday night. Saw some bizzarre behaviour, loads of stupid rugby jocks, believe me sunshine =)
April 20th, 2009
12:24 pm
Seems like you got your information from one of those shite BBC programs…”When Cunts get drunk!”
You go to the centre of any city centre town, your going to get carnage. I live in Cardiff and like most people who know the score we stay away from Beirut (High St/St Mary’s St). I’m out every weekend in the outskirts of Cardiff and have never seen any naked rugby players/touched another mans cock/pissed on each other.
June 5th, 2009
12:48 pm
why is everyone trying to out ‘we go out in a shit hole’ eachother
June 5th, 2009
3:03 pm
this is pretty spot on. you dont wanna be going to wind street in swansea on a saturday, roider rugby cunts, and some fucking really bitchy ummin slags. most people are pretty much nice though..i always end up with random hats and sunglasses and fancy dress apparel from a night out in swansea from trying otherpeoples or randoms giving them out. you get the occasional fight but where dont you.. and its usually best buddies fighting anyway. get to sigma or monkey.
June 19th, 2009
1:00 pm
does anyone else think that the middle guy in the 2nd photo (3 guys in the shower) has a really small head compared to the rest of his body??