So my dad pretty much hates everyone and doesn’t have many friends outside of the staff at a bar he frequents on the weekends. His brother Carl is the polar opposite—a really amicable and gregarious guy who loves to chat with anyone and everyone about anything. They run a business together, so you can easily imagine the weird dynamic they have as partners. On top of their unholy union, every time one of them has a birthday, my grandmother buys the same horrid cologne for them year after year because they lie to her and say they like it (still, Carl probably likes it more than what my dad actually got him this year). This cologne though, it smells like mothballs that have been fermenting in a vat full of a year’s worth of John Madden’s leftover Tinactin scraped from his toe cleavage. Last year she made the mistake of giving her annual bottle of cologne to my uncle, who preceded to squirt three-quarters of its contents all over my dad’s office effects with the door closed after he had left for the night. Needless to say, my father refused to work inside his office the next day. Today was my uncle’s birthday and my dad, being the enterprising guy that he is, decided a special treat was in order: a kiddy pool full of fresh horse shit collected from a buddy’s ranch. It had been sitting in there for a good 12 hours before my uncle opened the door this morning, and next to it he found a shovel and a brand-new bottle of the aforementioned cologne. No word as of yet on how he got it out of there, but I have to say: Good one, old man. I didn’t think you still had it in you.
ROCCO CASTORO
Reader Comments
March 30th, 2009
i hope pops sliced the bottom up real nice so any attempt to taco fold the baby pool and neatly dispose of said shit would fail miserably and lead to a full day of resolving the fuck out of that carpet.
March 30th, 2009
dads are so funny about pranks. they get such a kick out of themselves.
March 30th, 2009
hahaha oh man. i wish my father and his brother were this much fun. i can only imagine the stench that will linger in that office for weeks.
March 30th, 2009
it’s amazing how far some people will go to pull a prank. and this case is no exception. the fact that the pranksters are older than your average make it that much more awesome.
March 30th, 2009
I used to ride horses when I was younger so I am basically immune the the smell of horse shit. this wouldn’t phase me at all
March 30th, 2009
my dad’s a pretty swell joker too bad terri schiavo has a better sense of humor than the rest of the fam.
March 30th, 2009
i guess this officially rules out ever complaining about not getting shit for your birthday. is he keeping the kiddie pool? those are great for drinking beers and dipping your feet in the front yard and since it’s florida i can’t think of anything more fitting.
March 30th, 2009
what ranch? i want a ranch with proper manure. and access to a kiddie pool.
March 30th, 2009
Rocco, I was the one who had to shovel that crap into 2 bags yesterday at the ranch!! I hate Dad!!
March 30th, 2009
That`s GREAT!!! yOU KNOW i LOVE IT!!! The crazyer the better!!! you go Dad!!!!!
March 30th, 2009
Good one! You failed to mention that it was superior quality manure from a select group of of equines who also enjoy horsin’ around. They are still up at the barn laughing.
March 30th, 2009
what a great prank. Your dad is hilarious!
March 30th, 2009
man. i would be so pissed. i’d sneak bits of it into your dad’s food. not so much to overwhelm him, but just enough to let him know that something’s going on. then the shit would REALLY hit the fan. oh mannnnnn, gotta love poop.