Dear Vice,
I haven’t seen my boyfriend in weeks and arranged to visit him this weekend. Wouldn’t you know it I get a massive disgusting zit smack in the middle of my face. It’s almost like God is fucking with me.
EMILY
Hmmm. Looks like God’s been "fucking" with a lot of people lately.
Apparently it’s become very rock and roll to wear used denim condoms over your legs.
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What do you do when you see post pubescent, Beacon’s Closet girls hanging out in Soho, smoking cigars and making fun of people? Run home sobbing and punch holes in your bedroom wall.
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Reader Comments
March 27th, 2008
8:11 pm
uh oh the herpo
March 27th, 2008
8:24 pm
wow, i can’t believe emily gould would send that in to this magazine. what a publicity whore.
March 27th, 2008
10:16 pm
That looks like ringworm…
March 27th, 2008
10:39 pm
That seriously looks like ringworm… Did you go to the gym and worked out your face or something? Holy shit…
March 27th, 2008
11:15 pm
um, it’s a cold sore. Straight herp.
March 28th, 2008
1:47 am
That sucks. You might try taking zinc pills (like 6000% of the daily dose) and cover the area in a thick layer of Zinc Oxide ointment. This seems to work- better if you can catch it early. I’m not sure there’s a valid medical rationale for this. It might be hokum, but it couldn’t hurt. Otherwise, you could try scraping it out with a razor and swabbing the hole out with rubbing alcohol. This hurts like the dickens, as you can imagine.
March 28th, 2008
3:25 am
“as long as it’s got a backbone ,i’ll do it”
March 28th, 2008
3:26 am
“as long as it’s got a backbone…..I’ll do it.”
yeah well.
March 28th, 2008
3:33 am
I think that is called impetigo. Its pretty contagious.
March 28th, 2008
3:59 am
Herpes Hitlerstache. The only thing nastier than that photo is the homespun herpes sore cure that dude offered. “Scrape it with a razor and swab it with alcohol?” Fucking masochist
March 28th, 2008
4:17 am
woops double post
March 28th, 2008
7:38 am
this girl must have paniced at the early stages of zit appearence by squeezing it, then the next morning she totally rocked her face by trying to pop it again and the flesh ripped a little. oh yeah, it happens - what a nubile.
March 28th, 2008
2:58 pm
everybody lies,
maybe it’s not herpes, but if it is herpes,
then try Acyclovir.
March 28th, 2008
8:33 pm
holy fuck bitch that’s nasty
March 31st, 2008
7:20 am
yeah…. Bad news sweetie. god didn’t give that to you… The last Herpes simplex infected rod you had in your mouth did. I feel your pain. (ok, that last half sentence was an outright fabrication).