This edition of NFTP comes to us courtesy of a tattoo artist who’s friends with one of our ad girls. The woman to whom the pictured foot belongs came into his shop a couple years back to get some touch-up work done on her talons (she was still saving up to color them in at that point—wouldn’t you kill to see the palette she decided on?). After choking back an earthquake of laughter, our bud asked her why she’d gotten a fucking dragon’s foot tattooed across her real foot at which point she requested a pen and sheet of paper. Here’s what she wrote them:
My dragon is an icon of fierce femininity. She can wear a jeweled tiara & gemstones in her claws & carry a ruby-encrusted sword all at the same time. She is centered and loving, never aggressive but upholding all her ideals and boundaries against all who would transgress. None may bring her down, for she soars with a power that is divinely inspired. She is ever vigilant towards all who would harm me, but loves me enough to learn life’s hardest lessons. She weeps when I bleed; she sings when I triumph. I am her. She is me.
We’ll give a free year’s subscription to the person who can set this to the best Tori Amos song. Submit mp3s or (preferably) youtube links to vice@viceland.com. Half a year for Loreena McKennitt.
Reader Comments
January 29th, 2008
10:39 pm
her own toes are gross enough, why would she want to add more
January 30th, 2008
12:34 am
I can’t even imagine the amount of cats this woman has.
January 30th, 2008
6:44 am
Wow - the only thing uglier than a normal girl’s foot.
This is every chick over 35 in Portland, by the way. If you don’t respect her dragon foot spirit totem she’ll punch you. And you are, of course, not allowed to punch back.
No wonder Jim Goad did so well here.
January 30th, 2008
12:19 pm
I have a dragon tatoo on my dick and its for fucking, HELL YEAH! ROAOOOOOOAOAOAOAOOAOAR!
January 30th, 2008
12:52 pm
That is the ugliest female foot i’ve ever seen…
January 30th, 2008
1:36 pm
“but loves me enough to learn life’s hardest lessons.”
Is the dragon learning life’s hardest lessons (quantum physics)???
I don’t get it, why would the imaginary dragon need to learn anything?
FM
January 30th, 2008
3:49 pm
the only good excuse I ever heard for a hippyish tattoo was a friend of mine who had a sun on his foot. he said:
it gives heat and light to everyone equally free of charge.
that I can live with.
my inner dragon loves me and shit is, well, just fucking retarded.
January 30th, 2008
6:15 pm
That’s a guys foot, don’t be stupid.
January 30th, 2008
6:40 pm
Lesbian Seagull!
January 30th, 2008
6:46 pm
This makes me embarassed to be a woman. This dragon could easily be from Flagstaff, AZ too.
January 30th, 2008
7:25 pm
This story and photo is B.S., that foot in the photo belongs to the dude that plays drums for Hightower. Its not a dragon, its a Gnargoyle.
But I guess Vice has never been known as a beacon of truth in reporting.
January 31st, 2008
2:22 pm
Wow dragon foot you bring a whole new level to “in desperate need of getting laid”
I’m gonna have to get a whole lot more drunk this weekend to get that image of your gnarly foot out of my head!!
January 31st, 2008
2:22 pm
Wow dragon foot you bring a whole new level to “in desperate need of getting laid”
I’m gonna have to get a whole lot more drunk this weekend to get that image of your gnarly foot out of my head!!
January 31st, 2008
2:22 pm
Wow dragon foot you bring a whole new level to “in desperate need of getting laid”
I’m gonna have to get a whole lot more drunk this weekend to get that image of your gnarly foot out of my head!!
January 31st, 2008
2:22 pm
Wow dragon foot you bring a whole new level to “in desperate need of getting laid”
I’m gonna have to get a whole lot more drunk this weekend to get that image of your gnarly foot out of my head!!
January 31st, 2008
2:22 pm
Wow dragon foot you bring a whole new level to “in desperate need of getting laid”
I’m gonna have to get a whole lot more drunk this weekend to get that image of your gnarly foot out of my head!!
February 1st, 2008
1:17 am
Ive got a white mans face tattooed on my face to stop discrimination. Fuck lezzer dragon feet!
February 1st, 2008
5:59 pm
I have a tattoo of my face on my face and on the back of my head (just incase I lie on my front). The eyes have been drawn open so that when I am sleeping I can still see her dumb dragon weeping - I thought that would learn her!