Gee, thanks vice for once again letting me know whats okay to wear! I’ll file this entry right away into my “Vice Uniform” folder so I’ll always know how to dress for your approval. Or wait, here’s an idea: why dont you shut the fuck up. Next time you have a blog entry, heres what you ask yourself: Is it about a 3rd world country, an awesome party, or drugs? Or is it about me telling people how to behave, how to dress, or what to listen to? If it’s the former, post away! If it’s the latter, discard! Nobody gives a fuck about what a bunch of people in their 30’s desperately trying to hold on to their youths have to say about what we should do with ourselves.

um, WOW. Burn to end all burns. That guy for president

um, WOW. Burn to end all burns. That guy for president

Wait so you are gonna dog on hats that keep the sun out of your eyes and off your scalp but nothing about trendy ass hoodies when it’s 100 degrees out or is that suffering for your art?

uhhh Vice sucks, why is evryone so mad? were you ever really taking their advice seriously? THAT would be a don’t!

WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE STILL READING THIS MAGAZINE IF YOU HATE IT SO DAMN MUCH. PLEASE BE SMUG/INDIGNANT ELSEWHERE.

the vice guys are pretty old, hey? Who elected them our boss ? I can imagine this drug addicted assholes hanging out at some house party saying how they’re the pinnacle of modern youth culture, what are we gonna do when they turn 40 (any day now)??? Its time for something else. Vice is over.

LETS KILL VICE BEFORE IT BECOMES LOLLAPALOOZA

KILL IT WHILE WE STILL CAN

Yeah it really seems like Vice is doing poorly for themselves right now. Their finances are in tatters. Maybe it’s because they are so old and dumb!

Hear hear. Fuck you vice. I’ll wear whatever kind of fucking hat I want, everything you guys are into gets played out 3 months later and you abandon it anyways. Quit trying so hard - why don’t you guys just settle down and pop out some babies and start blogging about parenthood. assholes.

good. you morons keep wearing superfluous hats and we’ll keep laughing at your sad affectations. sorry but there is no excuse for a fedora EVER. vice is saying something that needs to be said.

Of course this excludes new eras that are two sizes larger than your head and still have the foil sticker (bling!) affixed because you don’t want to risk breaking your coke nail peeling it off or whatever.

Can I wear a sombrero if it is made of felt?

the best part of all your hate messages are simply this- you dumb fucks still took the time to read the article, AND had to click on the title, what not to wear, to read the shit. if you think vice is so queer, shut the fuck up, stop reading it, and go jerk off to another sports illustrated.

Uniform is a bad thing?
If people don’t dress their values, how will I know which ones to avoid? (oh and btw, kudos on the classic trick of posting a comment agreeing with your own, “impressionable youth”)

Without a social life to consider, I would switch my tight jeans, ridiculous shoes and expensive shirts for a a baggy shalvar kamiz, and comfy shoes, but I won’t.
The risk of being confused with one of you raggae scum is .

Inform us, Arbiter Elegantarium

Why is there a picture of a dude wearing a straw hat at the open of the Vice/Adidas exhibition in the photoblog then if its so wrong? Hes obviously one of you guys. See ya later, yeah?

Arbiter Elegatarium, what is life like in your country? Regale us with tales of your foreign land.

Hey, why don’t you go tell Little Louis Vega to ditch his fedora because Vice magazine says it’s not cool anymore?

Here’s the thing: Vice is still a great magazine for gonzo journalism. Stories on parties, drugs, and fucked up foreign countries, I enjoy. But all this too cool for school shit got played out five years ago, and since then Vice has desperately been trying to stay relevant since then, clinging on to anything at all in the scene if they think it will bring them youth credit. The cobrasnake? Really? 5-10 years he would have been mocked incessantly by vice. And the fashion advice, does anyone worthwhile take fashion that seriously?

Hi I’m Agnes and I don’t like hats or chinese people

Hypocrisy Highway, Here We Come!

Click the Link to see their very own Gavin McInnes breaking the beloved rule stated above…

Hypocrisy Highway Here We Come!

go to this web address:

http://thecobrasnake.com/partyphotos/cardboardcatbox/IMG_3478.html

to see their very own boss (gavin mcinnes) breaking the beloved rule stated above!

And as for watches, man they are so tired!! i can’t believe people still wear them. idiots

gotcha, bitch! click below…

dear vice,
we fix your computers and show you how to work your cameras. do not fuck with us.

hats suck you idiots.

vice is soooo oold. being thirty is ollllld. /sarcasm

Say to my fucking face and I’ll knock your block off. My hat helps my ego as I am balding quicker than global warming is eating the planet. Plus when I sweat in it, the lining smells like Falafel. Mmm… Falafel.

Vincent

Dear Vice,
I kinda have the same problem as the fella who commented above me; premature balding. I’m 28 and pretty much fully bald. Even though I’m a handsome gent, baldness is ugly and must be covered. I don’t even like the sight of other people’s naked scalp. I know the fedora is always a risk but honestly it looks better that pure bald. When dressing casual (i.e. t-shirt)I often wear the baseball cap with brim flipped up, a la Suicidal Tendencies. However this is truely tasteless when a collered shirt is in order. The fedora seems like the only classy headwear alternative for me. What am I to do?

Mo

fuck you, jealous much? lookin good in the straw fedora and keeping it ethnic… you wish you were as authentic.

Doesn’t your buddy Johnny Knoxville rock the Summer Fedora all the time?

hey dermody,

the sight of OTHER people’s bare scalps offends you because it reminds you of your own, which you apparently hate.

get over it. i’m 28 and bald and i don’t wear hats and i wear my hair kinda shaggy, i have a nice-shaped dome and enough self-confidence to pull it off.

larry david wrote this great article about baldness for the NYT Magazine like seven years ago - he called out hat wearers, beard growers, and head shavers all. it took me a while for his words to sink in but I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT.

but hey, people should wear fucking hats if they can pull it off; ska is due for a fourth wave anytime now. this comment has no point except I AM bALD AND i HATES HATS.

Hats rule when its 104 outside. whatever.

Wow, viseland, I’m convinced. You did such a GREAT job arguing against hat-wearing. *snort*

ima go buy one of those hats now thanks

You guys are still bitching bout hats when someone’s just posted a racist comment above? Quit this hat nonsense, who fucking cares? Wear whatever hat you want! It’s a damn accesory.

And Agnes, you truly are a asshole, go fuck with a pig or sheep and get with the idea that you should be shot

i love chuckling as i read people argue about hat wearing. i love vice.

Hey you fashion stars, come on down to the Stampede,…then say what you will about nimrods in straw hats. Totally agree will the editor,.. or whoever the hell wrote this shit that I just waisted my time reading,.right on!

Did the first poster actually write: “hey VICE shut the fuck up”? My responding that way you basically identified yourself as the target of what VICE was talking about. Way to take a general complaint and turn it into a personal affront, you dumb fucker.

Hats are cool. Vice wears hats. Yeahhh, cmonnn, gimme a fuckin break you don’t. You hoes wear MLB caps, all uncurved and shit, a la true hipster. We’re not stupid.
What Vice should ban are leggings. Yeah, I just fuckin said that.
Leggings make hipsters look more malnurished than American Apparel’s child labourers.
Yeah I just fuckin said that too.
What.

but vice loves the 40’s/50’s and all men wore hats in the 50’s!!

Hats were cool in the 20’s and they’re still cool now; if you have the fashion sense to carry them off, which many of the pathetically hip population do not!
Please……ban the leggings along with all of this 80’s revival fashion that is so horrendous.
I’m living in Tokyo and can’t wait for winter to bust out my old school Kangol that’s been with me for many years.
And anyway……..who really gives a shit what New Yorkers are doing…..so stale!

forreal, i love vice but this was the dumbest shit i ever read

Awesome topic…I think it’s pulitzer material. What a great way to make a difference in the world. I am about to google “internet puppy” so I can have him e-shit on this news.
Look…If Vice were dinner, this story would be the cabbage side salad that no one really expects you to eat.

Unless hats serve some kind of function, like keeping the sun out of your eyes while you’re riding a bull, or protecting your head while at a construction site, hats are for awkward high school kids and old guys trying to stay hip.

VICE is 100% right on this issue.

This was the most contrived thing I have ever read.

bears repeating:

Hypocrisy Highway Here We Come!

go to this web address:

http://thecobrasnake.com/partyphotos/cardboardcatbox/IMG_3478.html

to see their very own boss (gavin mcinnes) breaking the beloved rule stated above!

bears repeating:

Hypocrisy Highway Here We Come!

go to this web address:

http://thecobrasnake.com/partyphotos/cardboardcatbox/IMG_3478.html

to see their very own boss (gavin mcinnes) breaking the beloved rule stated above!

p.s. I think all that matters is how good it does or doesn’t look on you

my hat is a brown fedora, its well beast

it’s really unfortunate that Vice is so insecure they need to go around shitting on everything - and what hypocrites! - Gavin had a kid a year ago and they hate on having kids constantly. What a dismal display of what’s wrong with a generation.

eh its like 60f the warmest it gets here so what to the evs besides I aint mad straw hats look stupid on my 62cm dome.

does this rule apply to gavin too?

he wears straw hats.

haha, i love it when people go on a big rant about something someone said (in this case pointing out that white kids hats suck ass) and then they try and play it off like “I DONT CARE WHAT YOU THINK..”
well evidently mr ‘impressionable youth’ you DO care,
& u suck ass at the same time
hows that for a hat-trick?

this topic is awesome & so right-on

Jesus, any of you guys ever heard of sarcasm?

I’d ad something here, but really couldn’t give two shits about anything written down by penis’ behind their dells.

You have no idea how bad it is over
here in Calgary, all these fucken’
fags wearing pink cowboy shirts and
cheap straw hats that don’t do dick
all to keep the sun out of your eyes.
If your going to wear a cowboy hat,
do it right or go home.

brilliant, an article that has created a big argument. job done!
cheers vice

brilliant? uh, I couldn’t even bother to finish it….zzzzzzzzz…but I did just buy a bitchin straw hat. Kind of a bigger porkpie…kicks Ass….and my cock is still pretty large

did somebody mention calgary stampede: otherwise known as the universal hub of straw hats, or straw hats global convention. they even give free straw hats at local liquor store.
heaven and hell

fedoras are a bit different than those billabong farmer hats that subrurban jackasses wear to the beach. fuck it all. if you can pull off the look without looking like one of those assholes then go for it i say.

The last time a fedora looked good on a man, it was twenty-four years ago, and Harrison Ford was wearing it.

Everyone with a fedora I’ve seen since then is an ugly, perpetually unlaid gamer.

I hate these things!! these straw hats are williamsburg today as the trucker hat was in the 90’s! L.A.M.E.
who thought it would be a good idea to dress up in 1880’s gear, what is next summer’s trend, maybe pilgrim hats? every dude wearing these hats should be sent back in time to when they were cool.

I don’t care what my hat looks like. I don’t want cancer. End of story. You think its worth it to look cool? Hats off to you and your untimely and expensive death.

gavin’s hat is different because it’s funny and silly and he complements it with argyle, thus completing the look. he’s not wearing an old hasidic guy’s hat with long greasy hair and an ironic metal tee. plus he’s old and old men can wear hats. this rule is for young people.

Amen Vice. I live in Nashville, TN, and it’s funny to see the tourist arriving in those corny-ass hats thinking that that is what Nashvillians where. Farthest from the truth, looking like broke-ass country singers.

Alright I’ll give you a point for fashion hats.

But I have to wear one for work and yes it’s a stray cowboy hat, but you need a hat walking 10 miles a day in the desert or a hard hat at construction sites.

I don’t wear it anywhere else though.

Here’s how to dress:

If you’re above 27: Dress like old people in the old days in the most discrete way you can find.

If you’re under 27:
Dress in whatever way you want as long as you make an effort.

Here’s how to dress:

If you’re above 27: Dress like old people in the old days in the most discrete way you can find.

If you’re under 27:
Dress in whatever way you want as long as you make an effort.

Here’s how to dress:

If you’re above 27: Dress like old people in the old days in the most discrete way you can find.

If you’re under 27:
Dress in whatever way you want as long as you make an effort.

Here’s how to dress:

If you’re above 27: Dress like old people in the old days in the most discrete way you can find.

If you’re under 27:
Dress in whatever way you want as long as you make an effort.

Here’s how to dress:

If you’re above 27: Dress like old people in the old days in the most discrete way you can find.

If you’re under 27:
Dress in whatever way you want as long as you make an effort.

I saw a guy wearing a straw fedora last night. I was about to make fun of him to my girlfriend by quoting this article, when I noticed he was alone with three hot chicks, who were hanging on his every word, rubbing up against him and grabbing his hat. So, fuck Vice.

that burn is on tour

im sure as hell that ive seen so many DO’s with people wearing brimmed hats. you need to make your fucking minds up!

UM SO YOU’RE TRYING TO TELL ME THAT SPENCER P JONES, HE OF THE WHITE COWBOY HAT, and BEASTS OF FUCKING BOURBON IS AN IDIOT? right. he puts all of you lame, soft, yuppie arses to shame.

am i the only person who whole heartedly agrees with this article? seriously… hats are ridiculous.