Does anyone else get the feeling that something really heavy is about to go down in Australia between the people that grew here and the people that flew here? Ever since the 2005 Cronulla beach riots between the Middle Easterners and the Aussies (where crowds were recruited via text messages saying: "This Sunday every Aussie get down to North Cronulla to support Leb and wog bashing day"), both sides have been going to greater and more creative lengths to piss each other off.
Archive for January, 2007
TALK TO MY ASS* - CATCHING UP WITH STEVEN SEAGAL
While you’ve been watching YouTube videos of newsroom bloopers and pictures of Lindsay Lohan’s cha-cha, Steven Seagal’s been keeping busy. Google his name and you’ll learn that he’s been recognized as the reincarnation of the Treasure Revealer Chungdrag Dorje, put out his own line of energy drinks (Steven Seagal’s Lightning Bolt), toured with his blues machine Thunderbox, written poetry, and taken up the study of herbology. He’s also a plantation owner, aikido master, father of six, and most recently spokesman for the Bulgarian skincare line L’Acrima.
DEAR VICE - DID I MENTION I AM AN ARROGANT PIECE OF SHIT?
Dear Vice,
I’m an awesome writer. Vice need me… I’m getting tired of seeing the same old bull shit writers preaching their elite of the anti-elite shit in Vice. Check some of my stuff out at my MySpace page. My blogs are filled with stuff but I have ample amounts of stuff to send if you want. Get back to me.
Pingu
FUCKED UP BANNED FROM MTV
The controversy surrounding Fucked Up’s performance on MTV Live rages on. The show’s Senior Producer just posted a comment on our blog that discredits the band’s version of events: “In no way shape or form was Fucked Up banned from MTV… We fucking loved it so much we put the performance up everywhere. I would like to see any other station have the balls to have them on.”
NEW YORK - GYNECOLOGICAL TEACHING ASSOCIATE
Have you ever wondered how gynecologists practice getting all up in ‘dem guts before seeing their first patient? Well, you’ve probably never met a gynecological teaching associate (GTA). Their job is to receive educational pelvic and breast exams from medical students who would otherwise be lost in the sauce.
VICE KILLS BARCELONA
We’re just back from Barcelona, where we hosted two clubs on two consecutive nights. We brought along bands like Metronomy, Friendly Fires and The Whip; DJs like Sinden and Feadz; and grime MCs like Jammer and Faction G. Thanks to Lee for sponsoring both events.
Photos: Vice Kills Barcelona
NEW YORK - G TRAIN G-UNIT
Brooklyn’s G Train picks up a pretty diverse array of riders as it runs from Queens’ potpourri of ethnic neighbs through Williamsburg and Hasid central, the Bed-Stuy ghetto, Mafioso Gowanus, and into the Yuptopia of Park Slope. But easily the line’s rappinest ridership hop on board in the Polish stronghold of Greenpoint.
VICE NFL PICKS - NFC CHAMPIONSHIP
NEW ORLEANS AT CHICAGO
The Bears had the most exciting player in the NFL this season in Devin Hester. If you disagree, understand that you are retarded. They also had one of the biggest assholes.
VICE NFL PICKS - AFC CHAMPIONSHIP
PATRIOTS AT COLTS
Here’s what is not going to happen on Sunday night–a Colts victory. It kills me to write this (but not really, since I detest Colts QB Peyton "the Smush-Face Kid" Manning) because the Patriots are pretty boring, and they all play like guys who can’t wait to retire so they can start coaching or just bossing their kids (and their kids’ friends) around.
INTERVIEW - LEE ‘SCRATCH’ PERRY
Reggae legend Lee ‘Scratch’ Perry lets his music do the talking. And thank Jah for that. Patois and a habit of speaking in riddles meant that transcribing this interview was like decoding encrypted message from Martians. But after much rewinding and re-rewinding, it became clear that this seventy-year-old is funnier and talks more sense than most pensioners we know (we know loads).
INTERVIEW - LEE ‘SCRATCH’ PERRY
Reggae legend Lee ‘Scratch’ Perry lets his music do the talking. And thank Jah for that. Patois and a habit of speaking in riddles meant that transcribing this interview was like decoding encrypted message from Martians. But after much rewinding and re-rewinding, it became clear that this seventy-year-old is funnier and talks more sense than most pensioners we know (we know loads).
INTERVIEW - LEE ‘SCRATCH’ PERRY
Reggae legend Lee ‘Scratch’ Perry lets his music do the talking. And thank Jah for that. Patois and a habit of speaking in riddles meant that transcribing this interview was like decoding encrypted message from Martians. But after much rewinding and re-rewinding, it became clear that this seventy-year-old is funnier and talks more sense than most pensioners we know (we know loads).
INTERVIEW - LEE ‘SCRATCH’ PERRY
Reggae legend Lee ‘Scratch’ Perry lets his music do the talking. And thank Jah for that. Patois and a habit of speaking in riddles meant that transcribing this interview was like decoding encrypted message from Martians. But after much rewinding and re-rewinding, it became clear that this seventy-year-old is funnier and talks more sense than most pensioners we know (we know loads).
