Our fave reader’s letters
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 Big Balls
Dear Vice,
This is that photo I was telling you about. This kid was wasted in the parking lot of a Green Day concert at Giants stadium. We told him he had to do something good for a picture if he wanted a free t-shirt. He goes, "I’ve got the biggest balls in the world! Does that get me a free shirt? Look at these…"
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 Pool dudes
Dear Vice,
These are photographs that I took working as a “pool technician” last summer. I’ve been working in the industry for over four years and am completely unlicensed even though I do plumbing work (residential pools can hold up to 21,000 gallons of water), electrical work, fuck around with gas lines, install 240,000-btu pool heaters (stronger than a home furnace), and handle hazardous chemicals. The suburban pool industry is so unregulated and fly-by-night that it’s basically total anarchy.
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 Mix CD
Dear Vice,
Last night I got high and made this mix CD for yourself and the rest of VICE. It’s my way of letting you know what kind of music is important to me; which is in my opinion one of the best ways to get to know somebody. It’s my hope that after reading this letter and listening to the songs, VICE would be willing to take me on as an intern, paid assistant, or otherwise.
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 Parasomniac pisshead
Dear Vice,
I have a problem. It started about a year ago when I was on holiday with my girlfriend’s family. We all had dinner together and then hung out in the hotel bar. After a few drinks my girlfriend went to bed and I hung out with her brothers. I was kinda nervous about meeting them (one is a cop and the other is a boxer) so I steadied my nerves with a few whiskeys. A few turned into a shitload and soon I was challenging them to a shot contest. Roaring drunk, I eventually stumbled upstairs to the hotel room…
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 Worst t-shirt
Dear Vice,
I spotted this on the sale rack at some vintage $60-80s-rock-shirt place on Main in Vancouver. It is quite possibly the single worst shirt in the whole history of fucking humanity. Only problem is, I can’t figure out how exactly to classify it: Post-ironic-skeeze-out? Meta-dirtbag?
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December 15th, 2006 @ 19:09
Reader Comments
January 22nd, 2007
11:29 am
So I suppose looking at your ‘girl’s issue’, that in your ‘boy’s issue’ you’re going to include male circumcision, guys who beat up women, men’s experiences of when they first got a boner or when they first had a wet dream or when their balls dropped, an article on actual internet perverts themselves, and of course images of naked men kissing or in the bath naked together?-didn’t think so. A guy I know gets your magazine and wanks over almost every image of a women in them, no matter how sick or innocent(?) seeming the article or image. Why have you always got to include at least two pairs of bare ‘tits’, as you put it, in each of your magazines? I know it’s mostly guys that run this mag and I don’t know if you know but you all write assuming that your audience is going to be male-even the female writers, and to me a lot of the time it doesn’t seem that different to mags such as Zoo or Nuts. Stop trying to be cool, and be cool. If you’re going to ridicule and expose women then ridicule and expose men aswel.