In recent years a slew of devices have arrived on the market that allow women to piss standing up. The products, which basically amount to plastic and cardboard funnels that fit like guacamole against the ol’ pink taco, can be a godsend for gals who want to drunkenly spill urine on the side of a Volvo when they can’t hold it until home—just like one of the guys.
The old camping standby, Lady Js, have been around forever and are so last decade. The new variations are using clever branding tactics and more aesthetically pleasing designs to put a little more pizazz in pee-pee time. The Easy Pee-Zee (for riot grrls), the Whizzy (for Oxygen channel addicts) and TravelMates (for, um … travelers) are all slightly different versions of the same idea. They are primarily for all you ladies who worry about sitting in fecal glaze or catching venereal warts from public toilets. They also work great for girls who have trouble bending over or are preggers. Just press it against your mound and go to town.
For all of you hardcore Big Gulp lovers, there is The Stadium Gal, described by the manufacturer as “an undetectable female leg bag.” Obviously, this one is meant to circumvent those long lines at baseball stadiums and monster truck rallies. It’s basically an external catheter (“worn like a condom,” according to the Web site) with a collection bag that attaches around the calf. The odor-barrier pouch film will make sure you don’t smell like you just came from an AARP convention and the 100% latex-free straps mean no ugly rashes.
Last, but certainly not least, is the holy grail of stand-n-pee technology for females: The Magic Cone. As always, the Japanese have served up what seems to be the best technology … with a heaping spoonful of creepy vibes. Just watch this lovely instructional video to witness the fine line between genius and perversion.
Reader Comments
November 28th, 2006
11:26 pm
Technically I think females can pee standing up or so I was told by a female forestry student…
November 29th, 2006
1:48 am
well i’m sure they mean pee standing up and not peeing all over their legs and clothes. technically.
November 29th, 2006
2:41 am
Didn’t David Sedaris have a story about the “Stadium Pal”? Cause smelling like an old man is… awesome.
November 29th, 2006
2:57 am
It is videos like these that make the internet worth it.
November 29th, 2006
4:21 am
agreed, the video was pure edutainment
November 29th, 2006
5:25 am
I am a girl and I can already pee standing up. Though it isnt as simple as pulling out you dick, if a girl simply leans back a bit and pulls up on the area of skin above her clit she can accomplish this task. I don’t make a habit out of doing so because I am usually drunk and incapable of standing in general.
November 29th, 2006
5:50 am
I want to be able to poop while I jog. C’mon Japan… GET ON IT!
November 29th, 2006
8:31 am
yes they can! I seen it with ma’ own eyes! Her name was Anne-Marie1 Ah’ll niver fergit it….
November 29th, 2006
1:10 pm
dear blah blah blah,
“I am usually drunk and incapable of standing in general.”
see also: lets get married.
November 29th, 2006
2:28 pm
with all these pee cones, doesn’t the pee back up and marinate your whole…area…?
November 29th, 2006
2:32 pm
most of you girls can pee standing up just by pulling your dick out.
November 29th, 2006
2:32 pm
most of you girls can pee standing up just by pulling your dick out.
November 29th, 2006
2:32 pm
most of you girls can pee standing up just by pulling your dick out.
November 29th, 2006
2:32 pm
most of you girls can pee standing up just by pulling your dick out.
November 29th, 2006
2:32 pm
most of you girls can pee standing up just by pulling your dick out.
November 29th, 2006
2:32 pm
most of you girls can pee standing up just by pulling your dick out.
November 29th, 2006
2:32 pm
most of you girls can pee standing up just by pulling your dick out.
November 29th, 2006
2:32 pm
most of you girls can pee standing up just by pulling your dick out.
November 29th, 2006
2:32 pm
most of you girls can pee standing up just by pulling your dick out.
November 29th, 2006
5:39 pm
the jog and poop comment made me laugh my ass off. well done. well done indeed.
November 30th, 2006
7:06 am
I dunno. You gotta one heavy case of penis envy to wanna carry pee cones around with you.
I’m a man, and I sit to pee whenever I can. Don’t have to worry about touching my dick after grabbing a dirty door, nor peeing on the toilet that way…
November 30th, 2006
11:58 am
Just what we need….more yellow snow!
November 30th, 2006
3:59 pm
I love japanese product writing. “Hoping you are pleased using the magic cone”.
Why thank you for your concern/strange curiousity ambiguous speaker.
November 30th, 2006
8:01 pm
If the higlight of usage is at ones drunkest, well if you have been drunk before you know how much you have to pee. So these seemingly paper cones will be more of a hassle than getting a little juice on your leg.
December 1st, 2006
3:16 am
dear 3ZKL
I C U P.
December 1st, 2006
10:19 pm
I do Not Have to Touch my Dick, i Get my beard to hold it for me.
December 1st, 2006
10:20 pm
”a good reason women aren’t equal”
Your a funny guy…funny guy…
December 2nd, 2006
2:18 am
It’s so much better if you watch it while listening to DIO.
December 5th, 2006
8:10 pm
Don’t use one, girls. They make you pee all over yourself. The cone aint long enough to clear your trousers and shoes.
May 9th, 2007
3:45 am
peeing up is stupid
May 9th, 2007
3:45 am
peeing up is stupid
May 9th, 2007
9:14 am
what i especialy like is that the girl in the instuctional video doesnt stop blinking, as if the video is still rolling and she’s just standing there waiting
July 20th, 2007
1:49 pm
pee like men
August 19th, 2007
11:37 pm
yeah, girls can pee standing. it’s a good idea too, it seems to me. faster, really convenient for outdoors (keeps girls safe from poison ivy and other crap on the ground), and even more modest if they know how to pee through teh fly of their jeans. it seems to me like a better idea for them to use the “device-free” technique though, since they don’t need to carry around the devices for it. that method is done by spreading the labia (both inner and outer) and lifting up so that the stream comes out in front.
here are some useful links on the subject.
http://web.archive.org/web/20030604104917/http://restrooms.org/standing.html
http://64.233.169.104/search?q=cache:E3maZezXuj0J:www.femaleurinal.com/factsandfables.html+site:www.femaleurinal.com&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=2&gl=us
January 15th, 2008
4:08 am
Here is a site that offers lessons. From what I’ve heard, it works…maybe I should try!!
http://www.stand2pee.com
April 27th, 2008
6:40 pm
i think it is a great idea for girls to stand to pee. it is fun too.
June 10th, 2008
1:24 am
tyytbghy
June 14th, 2008
12:42 am
i sometimes pee standing up when i don’t wanna do that “voleyball thing” in public bathrooms, and i don’t need any kind of cone.
btw, when i was little - like 8 - my dad caught me peeing standing up and got really mad LOL