Recently after performing on a stage, attempting ‘comedy’, I asked a couple of male buddies in the class for some feedback. Feedback was thus: "Can’t tell you much dude. Didn’t hear a word you said as I was staring at your erect nipples the whole time."
Now whilst I didn’t appreciate the objectification (well maybe a little bit), I did appreciate the frank discussion that followed. Ladies, this just in: apparently men are concerned when nipples aren’t in their erect state …
Boy 1: It really puts me off when ladies’ nipples go flaccid.
Boy 2: Yeah man. I worried I’m not doing my job when even the nipples lose interest.
Girl 1: Boys, boys, boys. You needn’t worry. Nipple erectness is not an adequate indicator of sexual pleasure. It could merely mean it’s a warm room.
Universe: I am going to implode right now as you have just blown wide open everything I thought I knew about, well, me.
First of all, and not to sound too Seinfeldian, but what’s the deal with men and nipples? Correct me if I’m wrong ladies, but unless you have weirdy ones, we don’t really focus on that area of our bodies. There’s no maintenance involved with them, you can’t do much with them (milking and sustaining another human being’s life aside), and here’s the shocker of all shockers guys: they aren’t in fact that sensitive. Yes it is true they can detect subtle changes in temperature (and for some women, seismic changes in the earth’s mantle core) however, I’ll say it again: nipples aren’t that sensitive. Insult ‘em. Call ‘em names (insert nipple joke here). They don’t care.
What’s more, most women could care less about what you’re doing with them. It’s what’s goin’ on down south that counts. You are unlikely to ever hear the following conversation between women:
Girl 1: So how was last night with Mr. X?
Girl 2: Well he had a terribly small penis and the sex was disastrous but that’s okay because his attention to my nipples was outstanding!
Girl 1: Lucky you!
Girl 2: Indeed.
A lot of women (myself included) also find too much nip action annoying, and sometimes rather unsettling. Looking down seeing a grown man suckling at your teat is waaaaaaay too maternal and barnyard-like an image when you’re gettin’ it on. And no woman wants to feel like a heffer when she’s gettin’ it on.
I’m a little concerned with the predilection men have for the nip these days. When once cunnilingus used to be the badge of pride amongst men, now it seems it’s the poor cousin to her two ugly stepsisters. And I’m not talking high school grope action. I’m talking suckling of teat. Step away from the nips right now.
KAREN FANTANA











Reader Comments
November 28th, 2006
4:29 pm
whatever lady, sucking nipples is amazing. i would do it forever if a genie let me.
November 28th, 2006
4:34 pm
If you suck hard enough, milk comes out.
November 28th, 2006
4:50 pm
I once was with this chick who almost had an orgasm if I even breathed on her tits. So there.
November 28th, 2006
4:57 pm
Nipples are sensitive. It’s science.
November 28th, 2006
4:58 pm
I can say that my nipples are quite sensitive, and when sucked during sex i achieve orgasm very quickly from it.
November 28th, 2006
4:58 pm
To is a preposition that introduces the destination or receiver of an action.
Too is an adverb with primary meanings of “also” or “excessively.”
I’m a goddamn electrical engineer I shouldn’t be the one correcting a writer’s grammar.
November 28th, 2006
4:59 pm
those are the prettiest nipples i ever seen
November 28th, 2006
5:04 pm
i like be old 50p style ones…yum!
November 28th, 2006
5:15 pm
Upgrade your libido. My woman doesn’t cum until I tease the titty ball. And this is no groundbreaking news that men are solely fixated on nipples. What do you think men built civilizations for? To impress women. Why impress women? To connect with the first thing that ever shoved into our face.
November 28th, 2006
6:00 pm
Like Johnson B said, “it’s science” you can’t argue science. Plus life is a little bit better when you have boobs in you face.
November 28th, 2006
6:04 pm
Whenever I see erect nipples all I can think of is taking them off with a boxcutter.
Believe it oooooorrrr not. (in your best Jack Palance).
November 28th, 2006
6:30 pm
hey mr. me too…how gay are you? we’re talking nips n boobie science here and you’re focusing on criticising the already-correct grammar? that of which you’re pretty piss poor at, too? she had me at the wet t-shirt photo.
November 28th, 2006
6:30 pm
My girl can’t stand it if I don’t give some attention to her favorite tit. You’re way off (and she ‘finishes’ every time).
November 28th, 2006
7:07 pm
I got a good one,
Q: what’s a sure-fire way to guarantee that a woman has an orgasm?
A: who cares
November 28th, 2006
7:24 pm
Have to say that the mantle is a layer of the earth, coming after the crust, and the core is molten. I am now going to give myself a swirlie (sp?.
November 28th, 2006
7:24 pm
Phhhhhh….. Dumb chick. Nipples kick ass, unless they are long and dangly.
Other than that I have no idea why this miss is so damn hostile towards them. Maybe she lost hers in a fire or something.
November 28th, 2006
7:27 pm
I lika da photo.
November 28th, 2006
7:29 pm
What the hell is this chick talking about? Is she trying to be funny? Ok so maybe your nips aren’t sensitive… sucks for you. Nips are like the cairn at the top of mountain. Nips draw the eye to the wonderful mounds of flapping flesh. That area is so uneventful and hair covered on a man that to see a woman’s is to see the yang to our yin. My personal favorites are the ones that volcano out from some itty-bittys like massive insect bites. I’ve lightly brushed my fingers over a set of those before and her reaction was an instant shortness of breath then a deep moan.
Speak for yourself lady.
November 28th, 2006
7:50 pm
I once knew this guy who instead of eyes he had two tiny nipples that were actually strange little penises called sandy and pumpkin
November 28th, 2006
8:33 pm
“Heffer”?
November 28th, 2006
8:48 pm
yeah, a heiffer is a male bovine
November 28th, 2006
8:49 pm
Who the fuck is this girl? Jesus hell, even my deaf landlord comes up when i put his name into google. I plug this girl’s name in (to see if she has a face at all and isnt just a cropped out american aparrel advertisement) and what do i get for my trouble?
Jack and shit.
Actually, its kind of amazing. How did she come up with the only pen name that isnt listed in some way as having even a single accomplishment on Google?
Shit. Bravo, Girlie Mc’Fakename, bravo.
November 28th, 2006
9:07 pm
News flash: men like boobs. Follow up: nipples are the most fun part of boobs.
November 28th, 2006
9:07 pm
Unlike the rest of you, I agree with the writer. Although it IS a (visual) turn-on having a mouth on your tit, it’s barely sensitive…especially when compared to, say, the glorious clitoris. More clit action!
November 28th, 2006
9:09 pm
one more thing…why do guys seem to think they know more about women’s nipples than we do? stupid fucks.
November 28th, 2006
9:20 pm
Lady as a woman I don’t know what the fuck your problem is, but I love when guys suck on my boobs!!!
November 28th, 2006
9:33 pm
Thanks for the tip!
November 28th, 2006
9:48 pm
I disagree, my nipples are quite sensitive, and I do enjoy attention being paid to them, so there!
November 28th, 2006
9:55 pm
they fucking changed the article and corrected the grammar mistakes after i posted. and besides tits dont really do it for me just like they dont do it for the author.
November 28th, 2006
10:28 pm
Is it just me or do F.O.B. Japanese chicks have long nipples?
November 28th, 2006
11:08 pm
News flash: Everyone’s body is different. My nipples, for one, aren’t that sensitive. However, that’s not to say that I don’t like it when a guy sucks on em. Honestly, I find that amazingly hot. Still, too much attention to the nip is annoying. Agreeing with the other girls, you can never go wrong with clit.
November 28th, 2006
11:15 pm
I’ve gone wrong with a clit penty of times. That’s why I’m typing this from the joint.
November 28th, 2006
11:29 pm
i think sensitivity varies
November 28th, 2006
11:56 pm
nipples rule! all that punk shit sucks. it doesn’t belong in this world. it belongs on fucking mars! seriously, and madonna can go to hell too as far as im concerned, she’s a bitch. nipples definitely rule.
November 29th, 2006
12:17 am
I know there are a good number of women who find it very sexually stimulating to have lots of attention paid to their nipples. But mine are not sensitive, and I agree with the writer 100%.
November 29th, 2006
12:24 am
What does F.O.B mean?
November 29th, 2006
12:37 am
Ha ha ha, her nipples are crappy, they dont feel nice.
November 29th, 2006
12:40 am
not sensitive? hmmm. i felt bad for her when i read that.
November 29th, 2006
1:11 am
It figures that a tit post got the biggest response in one day that i’ve seen on this thing in a while.
fucking genius. hit us with the classics.
“Um, sex doesnt feel “that” great…”- some girl
voiced to public outcry of “It does! shit yes it does!”
well played, Vice.
November 29th, 2006
2:43 am
she’s not a real human. she’s hyundia robot with fake tities. or, she was born without nipples and she’s just getting it out there that she doesn’t want her nipple sucked cause it’ll come off. gawd. go dyke out or something you zero nippled fucking freakshow. I’ll never suck on your poon.
November 29th, 2006
3:31 am
I love having my nipples played with! This chick is obviously just ‘different’, there’s nothing i like more than riding on top while a guy sucks my titties.
November 29th, 2006
5:54 am
I have to agree that the degree of nipple erectile-ness doesn’t have much connection to arousal for me either, they just react to temperature and touch. And even though I fucking love having my nips played with, kissed and especially bitten, if I’m not turned on they’re basically numb. Unless I pinch them really hard. But maybe that’s just turing me on. Oh, the fascinating depth of nipples!
November 29th, 2006
11:34 am
I wholeheartedly agree with gingangooly. An ex of mine had nipples so sensitive you could change her disposition from everyday normal to moaning harpee in mere seconds. One touch and she was away, irrelevant of where we were. I used to do it at funny times like in shops or on the bus. Not once did she not start pursing her lips and lighty closing her eyes.
On the other hand the girl i was with after that looked at me strange for touching her boobs in a cafe.
I say if you’ve got a nipple harpee hold on to her.
November 29th, 2006
12:19 pm
Babe, that is you. My nipples are incredibly sensitive. Where do you get off saying that ALL women have insensitive nipples?
November 29th, 2006
1:00 pm
eating pussy used to get you beat up.
ask your grandfather.
or maybe just get a goddamn clue.
November 29th, 2006
1:33 pm
i only read this because of the photo
November 29th, 2006
3:36 pm
“My nipples are sensitive…”, “My nipples are….” Fuck off… Tell it to the guy that’s doing you…
Love the picture…
November 29th, 2006
4:07 pm
@ evur: “one more thing…why do guys seem to think they know more about women’s nipples than we do? stupid fucks.”
yeah, completely agreed. i’m also wondering why women think they know more about blowjobs than we do. girls, ask your man for the handbook
November 30th, 2006
1:02 am
The picture is great. Some women’s nipples (like mine) are a sensitive and erogenous even. Lord love ya for trying to get more “down south” action though. A real man eats it red.
November 30th, 2006
4:34 am
“one more thing…why do guys seem to think they know more about women’s nipples than we do? stupid fucks.”
If you’re not a for-real lesbian, you probably don’t know shit about nipples that aren’t your own.
To make it worse, lots of chicks have no idea that women are all over the map in terms of what feels good. They’re way more variable than guys are, I think.
November 30th, 2006
12:01 pm
I thought nipples went hard in a cold room! you know butter melts when its not in the fridge…not saying breasts are made of butter(but technically they hold milk)….you know what I mean!!!!
November 30th, 2006
6:54 pm
It ALL depends on the lady.
I love to have my nipples sucked, licked, bitten, tweaked, twisted, pulled, bungeed from, whatever.
It takes different strokes kid, different strokes…
November 30th, 2006
7:00 pm
Straight women don’t necessarily know very much about pleasing straight women. They don’t understand the complexity of the situation. Each woman is different - especially with the nips. I have also brought a woman to orgasm solely through nipple stimulation. I’ve heard that women with smaller breasts tend to have more sensitive nipples and my own research has reinforced this.
November 30th, 2006
9:33 pm
yeah but you gotta remember, as with all things, its very individual specific! i’ve never made a girl cum from just nip attention but been so close that 10 seconds down stairs and she was done! but some girls don’t go for it at all…
and whats with the questioning of why men love nips?! they are the centre of the boob! nuff said!?
December 1st, 2006
12:59 am
yah, it is kinda funny feeling…
December 1st, 2006
11:04 am
you ever been with an chick who has dark skin and brown nipples? pretty awsome.
Titty fucking isn’t really sweet at all though
December 1st, 2006
12:46 pm
i love my tits and my boyfriend loves tit wanks!!
on another subject, last night when i fucked him he said his orgasm was that intense he nearly shit himself….is this normal??
x
December 1st, 2006
1:04 pm
No ones normal…..
December 1st, 2006
1:11 pm
ok, wrong terminology, but have u ever heard of that before?? :)
December 2nd, 2006
6:34 am
nipples are fags
December 2nd, 2006
8:54 pm
sorry Nipsy Russell a heiffer is a female bovine, that time you rear ended daisy, it was actually derek, your a poof!
December 2nd, 2006
10:40 pm
Ummmm, girls seem to like it so much when I suck on their nipples that they hold my head there to make me keep doing it. And when I bite on them, girls seem to go borderline orgasmic. Really, I like doing it, but the girls seem to like it x1000. This article is booty.
December 4th, 2006
1:14 am
What does F.O.B mean?
Posted by: rod | November 29, 2006 at 12:24 AM
F.resh O.ff the B.oat
December 21st, 2006
3:24 am
so not true. my ex used to climax from my licking her nipples. albeit in a very artful manner, and with tact.
January 23rd, 2007
12:24 am
nipples shmipples. when was the last time someone pee’d on your face?
January 24th, 2007
8:51 am
It was like just a second ago, I’m having trouble typing
February 12th, 2007
6:53 pm
I love hard nips especially mine. Wish someone out there could play with them… twist, pull, lick, anything to make them erect 24/7… being in a very cold airconditioned room helps too. It turns me on just thinking about it… me on top, boobs bouncing and you pulling my hard erect nips as I feel it down to my clit… oohhh
March 1st, 2007
9:48 pm
When any man sucks my nipples I want to have sex with him so bad. I would let a man suck my nipples for hours.
March 2nd, 2007
10:56 pm
I have very sensitive large nipples and I love to have them licked and sucked…24/7 if I could…I have orgasms from having my nipples played with and I love to show them off…men are most appreciative.
March 17th, 2007
12:33 am
Fuck the bullshit, lets settle the matter:
http://www.007b.com/nipple_stimulation_sexual.php
Peep the link
March 26th, 2007
3:28 pm
Girl you sexy, I understand where you coming from, but I have one thing to say, its all different for everyone
May 11th, 2007
4:48 pm
Nipple.
yeah.
December 4th, 2007
6:35 am
when men suck and lick my tits i want to have sex with him soooooooooo bad. i get sooooo wet down there. it turns me on so much i start to lick and bite his ear or the top of his head because i feel so guilty that i’m getting all the pleasure while he’s working so hard. i would never stop him it could go on forever. clit licking on the other hand for me does nothing like tit licking no way shape or form. true everyone is different.
February 9th, 2008
5:50 pm
I love if a man suck on my nipples hard and long…i want him to suck on and on for the whole night….
February 19th, 2008
11:15 am
I absolutely looooooove having my nipples stimulated in any and every way possible, especially hard sucking, squeezing, twisting…you name it - I can get off just by having my nipples stimulated and my b/f knows it! I have large breasts and nipples, and he loves it too. Speak for yourself girl…some of us totally get off on intense nipple play.
February 19th, 2008
11:18 am
the best is when my b/f comes down on my clit and vagina with his mouth, his fabulous magic tongue, and plays with my nipples at the same time with his magic, skillful fingers…it drives me absolutely crazy wild!!!
February 19th, 2008
11:21 am
I like having it all licked, sucked and squeezed…HARD…give it all to me, and I’ll give it all back! suck my tits, suck my clit, squeeze my nipples and then fuck me hard with a rock hard cock! I’ll suck my b/f’s absolutely gorgeous cock too and give him whatever he wants…it’s all about giving each other pleasure, and doing whatever works …sigh…getting off just thinking about it…
February 19th, 2008
11:24 am
yes I agree with the ladies who would let a man suck their nipples for hours…I would too…man I get totally wet just thinking about it. then get your clit sucked too while your tits are being squeezed and played with…and it’s amazing…wow!!!
February 19th, 2008
11:28 am
my b/f loves my big gorgeous tits, and so do I. he loves to suck them and play with the nipples and totally get them stimulated, and I love it too. nipple play is where it’s at for us…it’s a great place to start for sure! try it you might like it! I am working on stimulating his gently sometimes, though he doesn’t seem to be as sensitive to nipple play as I do…I guess we are all different…
June 7th, 2008
1:20 am
i love big titties
July 22nd, 2008
5:44 pm
I love when guys suck on my nipples. You can suck on my tits any day. Ahhhh its making me horny.. lol I feel sorry for the author, she doesn’t know what she is missing.
Yey to nipple sucking!!!!
LMAO.
August 14th, 2008
1:52 am
hehe, most of the supposedly ‘comments from female’ actually comes from nerdy guys who pretend they are women..
go figure.
August 27th, 2008
7:37 am
A guy licking on my nipples gets me very horny and I’m just ready to screw. Once I get going, oh, I just can’t stop. I love the feeling of this and I can go on for a long time. I also love to grab his penis and rub them against my nipples and masturbating at the same time.
August 27th, 2008
7:54 am
When I have sex, I love being on top and looking down at the guy of whom I’m fucking with.
September 13th, 2008
9:32 pm
Hell yeah! I agree with jackie o. I have let my man suck on my nipples until he was tired and he loved it becuz after he was finished suckn, my coochie was drippn wet! So wet that he got 2 pumps in, he came all in me! I think I’ll just go fuck him now….
September 13th, 2008
9:32 pm
Hell yeah! I agree with jackie o. I have let my man suck on my nipples until he was tired and he loved it becuz after he was finished suckn, my coochie was drippn wet! So wet that he got 2 pumps in, he came all in me! I think I’ll just go fuck him now….
September 13th, 2008
9:32 pm
Hell yeah! I agree with jackie o. I have let my man suck on my nipples until he was tired and he loved it becuz after he was finished suckn, my coochie was drippn wet! So wet that he got 2 pumps in, he came all in me! I think I’ll just go fuck him now….
September 13th, 2008
9:32 pm
Hell yeah! I agree with jackie o. I have let my man suck on my nipples until he was tired and he loved it becuz after he was finished suckn, my coochie was drippn wet! So wet that he got 2 pumps in, he came all in me! I think I’ll just go fuck him now….
September 13th, 2008
9:32 pm
Hell yeah! I agree with jackie o. I have let my man suck on my nipples until he was tired and he loved it becuz after he was finished suckn, my coochie was drippn wet! So wet that he got 2 pumps in, he came all in me! I think I’ll just go fuck him now….
September 13th, 2008
9:32 pm
Hell yeah! I agree with jackie o. I have let my man suck on my nipples until he was tired and he loved it becuz after he was finished suckn, my coochie was drippn wet! So wet that he got 2 pumps in, he came all in me! I think I’ll just go fuck him now….
September 13th, 2008
9:32 pm
Hell yeah! I agree with jackie o. I have let my man suck on my nipples until he was tired and he loved it becuz after he was finished suckn, my coochie was drippn wet! So wet that he got 2 pumps in, he came all in me! I think I’ll just go fuck him now….
September 13th, 2008
9:32 pm
Hell yeah! I agree with jackie o. I have let my man suck on my nipples until he was tired and he loved it becuz after he was finished suckn, my coochie was drippn wet! So wet that he got 2 pumps in, he came all in me! I think I’ll just go fuck him now….
September 13th, 2008
9:32 pm
Hell yeah! I agree with jackie o. I have let my man suck on my nipples until he was tired and he loved it becuz after he was finished suckn, my coochie was drippn wet! So wet that he got 2 pumps in, he came all in me! I think I’ll just go fuck him now….
December 6th, 2008
7:04 am
umm well it does nothing for me. nothing at all. i mean i dont care if the guy does it…but it wont make me have an orgi thats for sure.
December 11th, 2008
8:46 pm
I’m horny ust thinking about it and reading these comments. I could have a guy suck and lick and play with my nipples all day. Thats all i wnat him to do. And if he does it good i’ll fuck him good. Its the one thing that can make me turn into a slut..playing with my nipples
December 14th, 2008
5:37 pm
I could lick pussy for hours