A lot of people get on our case about the Dos and Don’ts, saying things like "you guys are so fucking picky" or "you guys hold the ladies up to far higher standards than you yourselves could ever maintain" or "that chik’s fat," but honestly we’re not so hard to please. We just happen to like it when the ladies show a little smarts and attention to detail and don’t just slather on the bronzing cream, squeeze into a pink, rhinestoned tube top, and call it being hot. If you want to see some real dogmatism in action, take a look at David Hasselhoff’s ersatz gal-rider from his 80s heyday. Not only is it fine with us if you don’t feel cool setting goals for your friends or think eating at McDonald’s somehow constitutes "spontaneity," you can even compare us with other actors if you really want to. To David’s defense though, you probably have to exercise a lot of discretion in all aspects of your life if you’re intend on being one of the preeminent human punchlines of our time.
Reader Comments
August 1st, 2006
12:41 am
i heard that he lives next door to ice t and they get wasted together and david hasslehoff does drunk raps under the moniker: “hassle-the-hoff”. if this is true its restored my faith in humanity.
August 1st, 2006
3:50 am
give it up for the A-T-L!!!!!
August 1st, 2006
4:04 am
1. that song sounds like a really cheesy quebec song
2. what year is that cause if it’s 15 years old those girls are 15 years ahead of their time. god damn those are do girls.
August 1st, 2006
9:37 am
hooked on a feeling
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tw3UviCXWgk
August 1st, 2006
9:40 am
he looks shitfaced in that video
August 1st, 2006
5:17 pm
THE HOFF!
August 1st, 2006
6:28 pm
“Don’t be afraid of water sports.”
August 2nd, 2006
6:32 pm
this alcoholic cunt got arrested and removed from an airplane