The reason why we have to cancel the launch party of the VICE GUIDE TO SEX AND DRUGS AND ROCK AND ROLL tonight at Urban Outfitters, Oxford Street, is because too many of you are using your air conditioners. That’s what EDF Energy, the private company who controls all the electricity are saying about this huuuge bummer …
That’s right. The huge increase in usage of crappy fans that cost £17.50 in Argos that all the Turkish and Bangladeshi-owned stores in the street have perched on the counter next to the flashing mobile phone holders and Tupac posters, have caused all the electricity in the West End to fail. As a result, they’re turning off the power at our party venue from 6pm until they sort it out and, presumably, arrest the perpetrators of this massive problem they are calling "fan crime"…
We expect anybody who is using the air conditioning in this area to turn it off right now and suffer the heat of their shitty shop while thousands of truant schoolchildren, drug addicts, immigrants and tourists tread on your feet and ask you stupid questions in pidgin English.
There’s more! A week before this all happened, EDF Energy announced it’s charging customers 19 fucking per cent more for their gas services and 9.1 per cent more for their electricity, from next Tuesday.
On average, thanks to companies like this your electricity bills have risen more than 50 per cent in the last three years. Who’s in charge of them? Mr Burns? That’s him there at the top left. That’s what he looks like in real life.
You can buy the book online.
Keep checking back to the blog for details of the rescheduled book launch party.
Reader Comments
July 27th, 2006
3:32 pm
I seriously thought that it was only me who had these crazy fucking electricity and gas bills because i thought I had a problem with my house. this makes me feel a bit better about it.
July 27th, 2006
3:32 pm
i want one of those mr burns masks.
July 27th, 2006
3:35 pm
they said july 7 was a power surge at first. Are they sure this is a power surge?
July 27th, 2006
4:27 pm
What do you expect? Energy aint free.
July 27th, 2006
5:03 pm
i don’t get it, this book has been out for a while. is this the UK version or a re-release with a different cover? please someone explain this clearly..
July 27th, 2006
5:20 pm
its a UK version, 50% of the content is from UK. the older book was never released in the UK. there will be a new do’s and dont’s later in the year
July 27th, 2006
7:00 pm
Kmon VIce
seriously?
ACtually?
wait..really…
Urban Outfitters?
thanks, im going to go mentally purge my body from all the wonderful advice i have recieved from you over the years.
for shame.
urban outfitters is for Faux-hemian suburbian loosers who are willing to pay a comically oversized amount of money to look cheap.
and your so much better than that
this is NOT a negative comment about vice, for my love for you is ad will always be undying
but simply a commentary on your decisions.
July 27th, 2006
8:15 pm
hey vice, man that’s great you got a party at urban outfitters all my friends in pasadena dream about that. oh and is smoosh playing?! i bet they are. i bet a bunch of grime bands are playing as well. Just call up the power company i bet you can strike a deal like give them that book for a night at urban outfitters, energy free; they’ll understand.
July 27th, 2006
11:26 pm
Hahaha, this is the best news I’ve heard all day.
The fact that you ‘hilariously’ racist trustafarian cunts can’t launch your oh-so-naughty little book at a shit shop because the electricity companies don’t work almost, ALMOST, makes me glad that Thatcher introduced the privatisation of the national grid.
Ah well eh? Fuck off back to Shoreditch to snort some more 1% speed/ 99% baby laxative and don’t fucking well leave there again you pointless no-marks.
July 28th, 2006
1:41 am
But seriously, where can I get one of those Mr. Burns masks.
July 28th, 2006
10:00 am
i got the day off work! no power makes me a happy lady!!
July 28th, 2006
11:15 am
WHY WHY WHY do you people who claim to hate vice so much have the energy to leave such lengthy messages on this board?
July 28th, 2006
11:41 am
there are quite a lot of them in shoreditch
July 28th, 2006
11:47 am
Hey look, it’s some more people that applied for a job and got rejected.
These comments are sooo far removed from the reality of Vice that it’s actually funny.
July 28th, 2006
11:47 am
We have the energy for long posts because we’re not continually shoving baby laxative up our noses.
Oh for the good old days when drugs were so much more than a pint of beer……. It’s cunts like you that give drugs a bad name.
“You’re either on the Bus or off The bus.” a very wise man once said that…. you’re problem is You don’t have a fuckin bus…. you never did….
Don’t ever do things just because you think you should……
July 28th, 2006
11:53 am
Mr Crapper (oh lol!) please enlighten us and tell us what the ‘reality of Vice’ is?
July 28th, 2006
12:27 pm
im muslim and black and i like vice. yay me!
or maybe im a traitor? should i be reading the source?
July 28th, 2006
12:43 pm
The reality of Vice is that there are a lot of embarrassing, sanctimonious idiots with too much time on their hands hanging around and whining about nothing in order to attract attention to themselves in a bid to accumulate some kind of self-identity.
July 28th, 2006
12:46 pm
Haha. the Vice people are really ok. the hangers-on and ‘commentators’ are the worst though. hahaha.
July 28th, 2006
2:12 pm
HAHAHA EDF IS A FRENCH COMPANY AHAHAHA
July 28th, 2006
3:07 pm
i wish i could write like anita much respect
July 31st, 2006
3:10 pm
EDF energy…
A misnomer..?
Some would alleged they’ve laid off-outsourced-cutback-trimmed and cleaned of so much fat to make a lean mean fighting machine of a company – that can collect revenue faster than a speeding invoice and stack customer calls higher than the temples of Bangalore, and somehow they have forgotten one tiny thing…
They provided energy.
Some insiders would claim they’re run the infrastructure into the ground and pushed efficiencies to such a level no energy at all is expended on maintenance (kidding – much respect to the men on the tools that fixed it)…
But they are creative: for example – ‘ The London Development Agency has agreed funding of £7 million to meet the total projected costs of [new substation]’ at Bankside – plant urgently need but somehow paid for my the plebs…
How can they do that?
How?
It’s a magic trick –
I wish I could pull it off it: will the London development agency please buy me a new car because I’ve shagged it by never servicing it or fixing minor scratches? I promises it will add value to the neighbourhood and improve the local surroundings but providing a new visitors attraction to an otherwise forgotten road.
Sorry about this lengthy and dull rant – but I’m not an EDF shareholder and I wanted free vodka cocktails dam it!!!
August 2nd, 2006
1:18 am
Anyone else enjoy the irony of…
Posted by: ali baba | July 28, 2006 at 12:27 PM
The reality of Vice is that there are a lot of embarrassing, sanctimonious idiots with too much time on their hands hanging around and whining about nothing in order to attract attention to themselves in a bid to accumulate some kind of self-identity.
from someone that obviously takes the time to read all these posts and comment…
as for me, new to the mag and site and think you’re a bunch of annoying judgemental freaks with too much time on your hands…
…just like me!
game on, more more more….
August 2nd, 2006
2:26 pm
You guys are like moths to a flame. HA HA HA, the proverbial sheep. Haha, like the kid who had no friends at school and found the cool crowd in the city that liked him for being weird and didn’t realise he was gonna get gutted of his money and morals, haha