Last night, I went to a party in the West End organized by a company that makes clothes. There was a lot of free drink but I’m on the wagon at the moment so coming to terms with being around friends who are nailed to the cross of booze was pretty gruelling. One way of dealing with the tedium of listening to them blather on about nothing is to make trips to the bathroom, which last night certainly, gave me a better insight into the ways of the world than having somebody shout into my ear about how they strangled their ex-boyfriend…
While washing my hands I heard somebody in the cubicles making the unmistakable sound of crushing drugs onto the cistern. The guy inside was making grunting noises and from the excitable tapping and scraping of a razor against porcelain it seemed like he was cutting himself up a huge pile of stuff so I thought it might be funny to stick around and see how fucked up he looked when he came out.
After a minute or so I heard him snort up what I presumed to be cocaine and then he emerged looking red as a dog’s dick with a face contorted in agony holding his nose. I went in the cubicle after him and saw yellowy powder on the cistern coupled with an empty pack of Cialis. The guy must have had crushed up two pills of Cialis, a drug like Viagra that you’re meant to swallow to give you an erection, and snorted them up his nose.
The amount of powder you get from that is equivalent to almost two grammes of cocaine. It must have fucking killed him. I saw him about ten minutes, his face like a tomato, dancing "sexily" with a big-nosed, fake-tanned Nelly Furtado look-alike to "Incredible" by General Levy. The look in his eyes reminded me of a nature programme when they show hyenas about to devour a rotting carcass.
Good vibes.
Reader Comments
July 28th, 2006
2:21 pm
I snorted a quarter viagra once and it made me puke. people are fucking animals
July 28th, 2006
5:04 pm
Dudes, so I scored some levitra for the rave tonight…
July 28th, 2006
5:04 pm
pinnocinose
July 28th, 2006
7:25 pm
thanks for sharing your utterly boring life with us.
July 28th, 2006
8:54 pm
General Levy makes me hhhot
July 31st, 2006
4:25 am
Is this why I am seeing so much spam?
August 2nd, 2006
6:43 pm
eh, that’s like, kinda dope. i mean i’d fuck nelly furtado?
August 6th, 2006
5:15 am
i did a giant line of viagra once on the advice of a liar, left an awful chlorine taste in my throat and did nothing in the way of making me horny. i had to chase it with cocaine all night to kill the stinging.
August 6th, 2006
5:15 am
i did a giant line of viagra once on the advice of a liar, left an awful chlorine taste in my throat and did nothing in the way of making me horny. i had to chase it with cocaine all night to kill the stinging.
August 6th, 2006
5:15 am
i did a giant line of viagra once on the advice of a liar, left an awful chlorine taste in my throat and did nothing in the way of making me horny. i had to chase it with cocaine all night to kill the stinging.
August 6th, 2006
5:15 am
i did a giant line of viagra once on the advice of a liar, left an awful chlorine taste in my throat and did nothing in the way of making me horny. i had to chase it with cocaine all night to kill the stinging.
August 6th, 2006
5:15 am
i did a giant line of viagra once on the advice of a liar, left an awful chlorine taste in my throat and did nothing in the way of making me horny. i had to chase it with cocaine all night to kill the stinging.
August 6th, 2006
5:15 am
i did a giant line of viagra once on the advice of a liar, left an awful chlorine taste in my throat and did nothing in the way of making me horny. i had to chase it with cocaine all night to kill the stinging.
August 6th, 2006
5:15 am
i did a giant line of viagra once on the advice of a liar, left an awful chlorine taste in my throat and did nothing in the way of making me horny. i had to chase it with cocaine all night to kill the stinging.
August 6th, 2006
5:15 am
i did a giant line of viagra once on the advice of a liar, left an awful chlorine taste in my throat and did nothing in the way of making me horny. i had to chase it with cocaine all night to kill the stinging.
August 6th, 2006
5:15 am
i did a giant line of viagra once on the advice of a liar, left an awful chlorine taste in my throat and did nothing in the way of making me horny. i had to chase it with cocaine all night to kill the stinging.
August 7th, 2006
1:42 am
what toilets are ya gonna be hangin out in tonight?maybe ya can get a job handin out towels and renting cologne
May 27th, 2007
4:30 pm
“…organized by a company that makes clothes.” PRADA!?