Dear Vice,
This guy showed up out of the blue at this party with a homemade 40
holster. He just cruised around talking to everyone like a normal
party-guy, but instead of scouring for table space when he needed a
free hand to add emphasis to a point, he’d just plop his bottle right
back in its cozy home. Kinda weird what good bedfellows beer-drinking
and ingenuity are.
T. LADY
People are really “whatever” about miscarriages in Mexico City. You can be at the club and just drop that little fucker on the floor while a bunch of goofs stand around and gawk. Then, as soon as your boyfriend checks under the hood to make sure there’s no embryo goop still hanging down, it’s back to la fiesta like nothing ever happened.
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The Class War people should ditch the posters of Bush with a target on his head and have this party chief passed out at a music-conference barbecue instead.
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Reader Comments
July 26th, 2006
7:23 pm
Sounds like a loser who needs attention through gimmicks
July 26th, 2006
9:37 pm
Looks pretty awesome to me. I bet it works with champagne bottles, too. Noted.
July 26th, 2006
11:51 pm
I’m too old for 40s anymore, but I bet this would still work wonders with a tall can AKA tall boy AKA tall billy AKA t-bill.
July 27th, 2006
12:03 am
How bout some kind of adjustable necklace so any bottle will fit and when you move,
it moves counter to you instead of spilling all over fuck all. Quick! to the patent office!
July 27th, 2006
12:13 am
I want one that will fit the medium sized Hennessy bottles. And I want it to have plastic jewels glue gunned all over it.
July 27th, 2006
7:18 pm
“I’m too old for 40s anymore, but I bet this would still work wonders with a tall can AKA tall boy AKA tall billy AKA t-bill.”
You forgot “longs”.
July 27th, 2006
7:20 pm
“Sounds like a loser who needs attention through gimmicks”
Are you fucking kidding me? If the party is crowded enough you can get your 40 swipd so fast.
I’m currently punching myself in the dick for not thinking of this first.
July 27th, 2006
9:13 pm
How pathetic are the people you’re partying with if they are stealing half drank 40’s.
July 27th, 2006
10:30 pm
That beats my party bag into the ground.
July 28th, 2006
12:27 am
This is going back to all that stooooopid late 90’s skatewear shit like combat pants with zips all over them and a little velcro thing on your arm for you cellphone.
GAY
July 28th, 2006
11:45 am
Next tramps will be using them for there white ace/lightning/strike cider bottle’s so they wont wake up in some random place with out it, so they have some nice flat morning brew and also not ended up picking up a bottle theyve pissed and spat in the night before… oh dear..
July 30th, 2006
8:46 am
that looks like a 32oz bottle to me…
August 1st, 2006
5:59 pm
I dunno…it also resembles a makeshift colostomy bag holder.
August 3rd, 2006
3:47 pm
this is the definition of trying too hard…
February 21st, 2007
12:09 am
Heres an idea, you see those fleshy things on your arms (arms are fleshy things coming out of you body, get me?), they are called hands. Hold you fucking 40 in you stupid fat cunting retarded hands, drink the fucking 40, then fuck off. Fuck.