Boris are playing a free show for us tonight in NYC at the Annex (152 Orchard St.). Unless you’ve had your mind stuffed with sand for the past two years, you should already be aware that they play some of the heaviest, dirgiest psych-rock to ever come from Japan and that they have one of the only attractive AND good female guitarists to ever come out of anywhere ever. Basically if you can’t make it to this, we feel bad for you. Doors open at 9; Boris goes on ’round midnight.
Archive for May, 2006
NEW YORK - BORIS TONIGHT
NEW YORK - PRANKS
There’s been a pretty good run of pranks around lately. We noticed this little corker about a week ago just a few minutes before payoff. It looked kind of cutesy and whatever at first, but then the owner showed up and started spazzing out int he middle of the sidewalk, which made it worthwhile. THEN once he’d stopped sputtering “garblegarblemotherfuckers,” he went to unchain his ride and the whole thing came crashing down on him without warning. We aren’t really sure if this was factored into the original setup or just the result of the bike owner’s poor handling of the situation, but oh was it the icing on an already delicious prankcake.
NEW ZEALAND - MUSIC MONTH HITS A NEW LOW
LONDON - ONE-TWO
Parisian electronic pop duo, One-Two (who sound like The Beatles meets LCD Soundsystem meets The Beach Boys) are on a
mini tour of the UK. They’re over here to promote their debut album Love Again. As well as drinking our beer, stealing our women and complaining about our food, they’re set to perform at The Old Blue Last tomorrow night (Wednesday 31st) …
LISTEN: One-Two - "Oh Hot Brain"
VIDEO GAMES KILLED THE RADIO STAR - TABLE TENNIS
Rockstar Games Presents – Table Tennis XBOX 360
I’m guessing there’ll be a pretty large and vocal “Ping pong’s gay” contingency when this fella comes out, but honestly, does anyone care about these guys? People who actually get upset over what games video game companies decide to put out, as if some incredible new black-ops dress-up game had to be wiped from each disc to make space for this cuddly little gem? Anybody who’s ever let “gamers” in any way influence how they live their lives needs to get with a little program called not caring what 14-year-olds have to say about things and start enjoying pleasant crap like this without shame.
PARIS - MONSIEUR R
The trial of French rapper Monsieur R began today. Conservative politicians are charging him with spreading "violent and pornographic messages" to minors. They blame his album Politikment Incorrekt for contributing to last winter’s student riots in Paris, during which 10,000 cars were set on fire and 3,000 kids were arrested. What really pissed them off was the video to the song FranSSe, in which naked chicks fondle themselves with the French flag while Monsieur R spits: "France is a bitch, don’t forget to fuck her till she’s exhausted, you have to treat her like a slut …
VIDEO: Monsieur R - "FranSSe"
MELBOURNE - CHROMEO
Chromeo were in town over the weekend and played a couple of awesome shows — mostly tracks from their album She’s In Control. Chromeo is Dave 1 and Pee Thug — who plays this long tubular device called a talkbox, which allows him to sing words that sound like they’re being made by a guitar. Apparently it’s a really difficult instrument to learn, and people who play it tend to get defensive if you call it a vocoder, but these guys made it look effortless.
LONDON - ARCTIC MONKEYS SECRET GIG
Arctic Monkeys played a one-off secret gig last night at the Old Blue Last. We filmed the whole thing and will be uploading clips over the next few days on the website. The band performed ten songs in their 40 minute set, including their new single "Leave Before The Lights Come On".
Photos: Arctic Monkeys LIVE
SCANDINAVIA - BEST OF THE BESTE
Peter Beste is great because he really gets into his subject. Guess what a year of writing a Black Metal column has taught us? That every Norwegian guy in a satanic, nationalistic metal band’s favourite photographer is an American. They just go nuts over him. In VICE you’ve seen Peter’s photos from Gorgoroth’s infamous Polish live show (they got sued for that. But that’s not the reason Gaahl’s in jail right now) …
AUSTRALIA - QUIET RIOT
There’s been a lot of focus recently on the mess of a situation in a little town in the far north west of Australia called Wadeye (pronounced Wad-air). It has the largest Aboriginal community in the country and is being torn apart by gangs who take their names directly from their favourite metal bands. Pretty much everyone who lives in Wadeye is a member of one of the two main gangs —The Judas Priest Boys and the Evil Warriors (the name of a song by Florida death metal band, Possessed). Then there are the smaller gangs who have their own identities and agendas but generally align themselves with one of the two main gangs. There’s Lica (as in the end of Metallica) Warriors, Mad Warriors, Fear Factory, Big T (taken from the band Testament), the German Punks, the White Lions and the Cowboys From Hell (the name of a Pantera album from 91).
NEW YORK – HOW TO MAKE A PLAYLIST FOR A BOY
First of all making a playlist for a boy you like is going to freak him out, especially if it’s good. If you’re into The Faction and The Saints he’s going to be intimidated by you and not be able to get it up. You don’t want to be too good at his thing. That’s like a boy baking you a huge tray of amazing pastries with little hearts and flowers on them. Or it’s like you being so good at blowjobs he kind of gets freaked out and asked you to stop.
The only way to give this to him is to say you had help from your brother or you got it off VICE or your old roommate helped (say he’s gay so the guy doesn’t get jealous).
NEW YORK - MIXES MIXES MIXES
We’re not sure if it’s the pollen or the weather or something to do with fluctuations in the market value of weed, but man are we being overrun with mixes all of a sudden. We put up one little mix CD somebody thought would compensate for their lame cover letter and resume and, next thing you know, our mailman has to commission a second sack for all the CDRs trying to “outdo” the original. We appreciate that there are a lot of folks out there with enough sit-around time to come up with song cycles based on personalized acrostics or arbitrary thematic motifs, but maybe it’d be nice if everybody took a little page from the book of CHILLLLLL OUUUUUUUUUUUTT.
NEW YORK – HOW TO MAKE A PLAYLIST FOR A GIRL
First of all, making a mix for a girl you don’t know that well or for a girl that dumped you is the worst thing you can do. She will be lying in bed with the guy she really likes and they will both laugh their heads off at you for putting U2 on there. You can only make a playlist for a girl that you have fucked more than twice and she has to have thoroughly enjoyed herself both times (so, if you had trouble getting it up the first time then it doesn’t count and your “two times” has to start on the second lay).
Anyway, so you have a girl and she likes you and she hopes you like her too. Time to make a mix. Here’s how it goes…
