Gerald and John Beckett are known as Pete and Repeat, the two hobo brothers of Parkersburg, West Virginia. They’re 71 and 73-year-old retired nomads with identical hunched stances and scruffy white facial hair. They dress exactly the same as each other every day, walk along the highway for hours at a time with seemingly no destination, and are either virtuous Appalachian sages or completely bat-shit crazy.
LAZY BLOG POST
It’s Friday and we don’t have the energy to take Islamic extremists out for milkshakes or destroy valuable pieces of art or uncover hidden cities in the Far East, or even do something stupid with a picture of some girls puking. Instead we’re going to watch the 100 best quotes from The Wire. Click through and watch it, it’s pretty good. Read more »
JIHAD MILKSHAKE
Anjem Choudary, the man behind Islam4uk, wants to turn Buckingham Palace into a mosque, impose sharia law in the UK, and destroy Britain’s porn industry. We took him for a milkshake (his favourite is chocolate). Click through to watch a movie of our date. Read more »
POP VOX: HI BARCELONA, WHEN WERE YOU LAST ROBBED?
I was just the other day thinking that it’s a bit weird that literally everyone I know in Barcelona has been robbed or mugged at least once in the last six months. But no one really talks about it anymore. I guess it’s a bit like living in a warzone or with monsoons–you’re so absorbed in rebuilding the family home every 18 months that the reason why ceases to be such a big deal. Still, 80,000 muggings a year in the old town (20,000 more than in the whole of London) points to something being seriously wrong. So, Barcelona… When was the last time you got robbed? Read more »
MEET THE NIERATKOS - CHRISTMAS… SO IT BEGINS
I’m not sure if you remember last year when I showed you the guy in my neighbourhood whose house is covered with Christmas lights or not. But here it is again. Read more »
URBAN OIL WELLING
God Americans are obsessed with oil. VBS just went to LA to Beverley Hills to look into the latest crazy LA fad, ‘urban oil welling’. It’s a cross between hide and seek and Monopoly and it’s pretty weird. Click here to watch Oil of LA.
HANGING WITH WHORES
For three months now I’ve been living with a prostitute. And, much like any job, over time, she has made friends with her fellow professionals (streetwalking, not-at-all classy friends). Yay! This means by default most of my recent nights in have been spent sitting around my living room with a bunch of whores, listening to them gossip over stories of differing brands of thrush creams and their ever-sagging labia. They always use up all the tea bags, and I swear the other day one of them stole a pair of my tights. But whatever, in the end it’s worth having the skanks around for all the riveting and disgusting stories they tell. Here are a few of the best ones I’ve heard recently. Read more »
I DESTROYED BANKSY’S RAT
A long time ago I lived in an old London warehouse with a guy called Steve, who was a questionable character and a cocktail of mental illnesses. Steve and I were both penniless; I worked full-time for a respectable fashion label but got awful pay for incredible PR, sales, and marketing skills, whereas Steve was a bum and deserved to be broke. On the outside of our building, near our front door, was some graffiti: a Banksy rat. The most famous of Banksy’s work, the one in all the coffee table books, the one that drew in hipster tourists every day to photograph it. I liked the rat. It made me smile a little each morning as I left the house. Read more »
ON THE PROWL AT LA’S COUGARCON
It seemed like a slam-dunk: Head over to the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Beverly Hills with my girlfriend Molly, who’d act as my photographer for the night, to wallow in the sordid spectacle that was the Los Angeles Cougar Convention. Not only would I get a story out of it, but watching the cougars (women over 40 who exclusively date men a decade younger than them) and cubs (the much younger men) play the age-old game of seduction with one another would give us a chance to sit on the sidelines and mutter jokes to each other under our breaths. In other words, a romantic date.
SYPHILIS GIVEAWAY
Hitler, Shakespeare, Al Capone, Friedrich Nietzsche, Van Gough, Toulouse Lautrec, Gauguin, Manet, Baudelaire – slutty syphilitics, the lot of them. Pretty trendy disease, huh? Which is why a lot of you people on this website will no doubt be interested in it. Read more »
NAKED BEHIND THE WALL
Reunification, woohoo! About a week ago Germany celebrated the 20th anniversary of this wall thing, with Bon Jovi and Domino Stones. However this just brought my mind back to the inexplicable differences between East Germans and West Germans. West Germans like Jurgen Klinsmann, East Germans like taking their clothes off in public. Read more »
IT’S TIME TO MODERNISE BRITISH PARLIAMENT
The problem with the British political system is that it is full of people you would never want to meet who make laws about people they would never want to meet, and even the people who do meet each other really, really hate each other. So Nick Clegg wants to abolish today’s Queen’s Speech, and instead have a Congress of the People for 100 days to draft a new constitution. Well, that’s not even gonna come close to solving the sort of Bakewell Tart of old fuckedness in which the nation is presently charbroiled. Move aside, Nick. We’ve had a think, and come up with some better schemes to remodel Britain’s battered democracy. Read more »
DEAR VICE: THIS PHOTO
Dear Vice:
I’m sending you this photo for about the seven thousandth time (this time through the actual post) because I have a rare disorder that doesn’t yet have a name but is diagnosed for symptoms of having too much a sense of “blatantly slightly off and therefore perfect” photo composition and timing, still thinking girls puking/peeing/doing whatever gross thing is “transgressive,” and not knowing when to take a hint that a magazine may not be interested in my work. I think it may have something to do with being Canadian.
