Vice Today
JIHAD MILKSHAKE
Anjem Choudary, the man behind Islam4uk, wants to turn Buckingham Palace into a mosque, impose sharia law in the UK, and destroy Britain's porn industry. We took him for a milkshake (his favourite is chocolate). Click through to watch a movie of our date.
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Free tickets to any show you want
Unless you punch two-year-olds in the face in broad daylight, you deserve a break once in a while. After all, you've been paying for gig tickets your whole life, don't you deserve to have a pair presented to you on a silver platter by some nine-foot bimbo? Yes you do, and you deserve some CDs as well, so enter this competition and perhaps you'll win some CDs and tickets to a show you would like to see (sadly, the odds are it won't be nearly as good as that one above).
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DRIFTING FOR A DAY
Gerald and John Beckett are known as Pete and Repeat, the two hobo brothers of Parkersburg, West Virginia. They’re 71 and 73-year-old retired nomads with identical hunched stances and scruffy white facial hair. They dress exactly the same as each other every day, walk along the highway for hours at a time with seemingly no destination, and are either virtuous Appalachian sages or completely bat-shit crazy.
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LAZY BLOG POST: QUOTES FROM THE WIRE
It's Friday and we don't have the energy to take Islamic extremists out for milkshakes or destroy valuable pieces of art or uncover hidden cities in the Far East, or even do something stupid with a picture of some girls puking. Instead we're going to watch the 100 best quotes from The Wire. Click through and watch it, it's pretty good.
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POP VOX: HI BARCELONA, WHEN WERE YOU LAST ROBBED?
I was just the other day thinking that it's a bit weird that literally everyone I know in Barcelona has been robbed or mugged at least once in the last six months. But no one really talks about it anymore.
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MEET THE NIERATKOS - CHRISTMAS... SO IT BEGINS
I’m not sure if you remember last year when I showed you the guy in my neighbourhood whose house is covered with Christmas lights or not. But here it is again.
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Davila 666 are a Puerto Rican Boy Band on Drugs
Menudo were the biggest boy band in Puerto Rico for a long time. Ricky Martin (yes, THE Ricky Martin) was a member at one point too. Like most boy bands, they were also rubbish, but on drugs they might have sounded great. Davila 666 reckon they sound like “Menudo on drugs” and they’re a gnarly garage punk band.
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THIS WEEK’S BEST STUFF
Music
MUMDANCE HAS GIVEN US A MIX AND A REMIX, AND HE HAS INVENTED A NEW GENRE
Once upon a time Mumdance was simply known as plain old Jack Adams and he used to book events and nights for us at The Old Blue Last. Nowadays though he has forgotten all about little old us and has become a superstar DJ. Literally.
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Fashion
NOT CLAIRE’S ACCESSORIES
Accessories are normally very small, so here are some very small Q&As with four of the best accessory designers around.
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Photo Blog
Reebok Pump 20th anniversary party
A big brand has a party with free booze and a Jagger DJing and wouldn’t you know it - a bunch of s’lebs turn up like gum on a sports shoe.
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Vice Guides
THE VICE GUIDE TO GIVING HEAD
Before you even start this discussion you have to look at your budget. You have about twenty minutes of sex chips on any given night. If you spend fifteen chips sucking him off, he’s only got five chips left for humping. We suggest saving BJs for mornings and afternoons and period week; you still want to get laid.
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Tidbits
ASS BALLOONS
Have you ever met anyone that worked in an ER? Gays get the weirdest shit stuck up their asses: Coke bottles, light bulbs, vases… it costs the city millions of pounds in WTF!? fees every year. Luckily the Germans have started this huge campaign to try to get them to cram less harmful stuff up there, like balloons shaped like cum stains.
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DOs & DON’Ts
If I’d spent $10 billion on a jacket and $6 squillion on my face I’d expect to not look like Kaa from The Jungle Book in a tranny wig.
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I guess it’s OK to jauntily perch atop an old lady’s bike if you look like the French Dennis Wilson (I want that jacket).
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Events
Skinema
I WAS A CRIP ... SORT OF
I can’t be entirely certain but I’m pretty sure I was a member of the blue-wearing gang, the Crips, from 2001 to 2002. I was on a lot of drugs then and have a piss poor recollection of all things, but I got a good feeling I was in the gang. At the very least I was an honorary member. A pseudo-Crip, if you will.
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Richard Kern
SHOT BY KERN
Richard Kern photographed Argentine-born Ana Lucia at her home in Mexico City. She told us that in middle school her nickname was "The Sweet Little Ass From Seventh Grade."
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