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  I'm 26, bipolar, and manic. I'm on four different medications. Clozaril is an anti-depressant. I take both 50- and 100- mg pills of it. I used to take Prozac, but it only worked for a little bit and then it plateaued. Then I tried Paxil, and it was the same thing. My mom reads up on all the medications, like she clips newspaper articles. She has The Pill Book and she's always looking stuff up in it. I have a copy of it, too, but I keep it in the trunk of my car. |
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Comments:
Subject: who controls your lives? Date: Dec 07 2006 11:01:48 AM Author: geez Pharmaceutical company’s controls your lives; your doctors are probably sponsored by drugs companies, or at least are in on some extra dollar thanks to you not being able to cope with day to day life Why cant people just talk to some-one? Re-train their mind to think differently in a more pragmatic/ logical manner? Or maybe the sad thing is that today’s world doesn’t have time to actually put effort into fixing things,can't spare the time? Just pop another pill, simple and easy- but not so effective as your just masking problems and giving in. the symptoms shown above are those of someone with too much self-absorbance and too much time Subject: thank you for this article Date: May 24 2005 11:07:17 AM Author: Kristin I was reading this article that day i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I just wanted to say thanks for writing an edition all about mental illness. It helped me not to feel so alone in a time that i was feeling very lonely and misunderstood. I'm on meds now too. I take 300mgs of Seroquel at night and 250mg of Depakote in the morning and at night. It's pretty scary to think that I have to take medication everyday, but it's a lot less upsetting then worrying about falling into another deep depression. Again thank Vice Magazine you rawk. Subject: mmmm feels so good Date: May 22 2005 05:28:46 PM Author: 'dman gimme that z-o-l-o-f-t gimme a grip make me love me suckin' em down I'm happy man can feel it inside makin' me smile realize that the sky is not made of gold don't disguise the nature of your soul gimme that z-o-l-o-f-t no longer pissed you don't bother me i'm makin' it thru i'm givin' my all when bases loaded i'm whackin' the ball ...don't suck the mind don't drain the source the path of life's not so easy to course, buddy -ween, quebec album Subject: NAILS Date: Apr 20 2005 12:34:36 PM Author: LANDOWNER Baron Von Samedie Ha, I was going to bitch abouth the girly nails as well. Looks like he works real hard at Ups. Subject: Whinge Date: Apr 18 2005 05:34:15 AM Author: Voiceover Artist Crackers. Especially the stuff about starvation. McDonalds is good for that. Subject: pills Date: Apr 15 2005 11:38:14 PM Author: spikey I was just thinking about the whole pill thing and how maybe I need them again, and I felt sort of stupid about it, until I read this article. Thank you for that. Okay, so every single pill I've ever been on (Paxil, Lithium, Zoloft, Lexapro, Wellbutrin, and 4 different combinations of each) with the exception of Lexapro, has fucked me up in the long run, but somehow I still feel like it's worth a shot, even if it means I'm buying into the over-medicating of America. After all, the medical industry has come a long way in the 4 years since I have been free of medication. In fact, maybe that is why the last one I was on (Lexapro) actually seemed to help me. Might I add, for the record, that there is no cure for depression or any other mental disorder. Whoever made the diabetes analogy is absolutely on the mark. It's not always a matter of "stop whining" or "look on the bright side". It's like not having any legs. You don't see anyone telling a quadriplegic to just shut up and try walking. It's really that simple, because it comes down to brain chemistry, which is not something we can "help", nor is it our "fault". I can say this without hesitation because I have been trying to explain it to people for years. Depression has attempted to creep in and occasionally destroy friendships, relationships, grade point averages, jobs, projects, and my bank account, among other things. So there ya go. Subject: ethiopians Date: Apr 12 2005 10:48:28 PM Author: to mauricio..or whatever ethiopians suffer from starvation Subject: Well.... Date: Apr 10 2005 11:07:19 AM Author: John B. I remember burning a complicated assortment of small items on my deck one evening in an attempt to communicate with UFOs. I have heard the sky SCREAM my name over and over. I could go on and on. The point is, at the time of this writing, I know these experiences were delusions and hallucinations. But let me tell you, they still feel more real than any of the reality most of us take for granted. Losing one's mind is not a personal failure. I have felt manic episodes slip past every barrier I was able to erect. Some of us just cannot rely on our own sanity. Some of us can. MY diagnosis is not a label. MY meds are not crutches. I choose to try and function in this world and stay out of the hospital. The meds make that possible. Case closed. Subject: meds Date: Apr 08 2005 02:40:04 PM Author: emma i've been on antidepressants for about 5 years now... i've tried to go off of them because of the stigma and wanting to "conquer" it alone...but i can't. i know it's a chemical thing. and i'm okay with that. Subject: In defense of meds... Date: Apr 06 2005 03:22:40 PM Author: D10 Before these medications were available, they used to just lock these folk in the Cuckoo's Nest where they couldn't live with the rest of society. Granted, these pharmaceutical companies are slimy and they're making billions of drug hoarding and sales, but if they didn't distribute them, a lot these people probably never see outdoors (or would have killed themselves long ago). Subject: I´m happy for you Date: Apr 03 2005 04:27:49 PM Author: Hanna I´m happy for you Brian. I have similar experiences. Love//H Subject: no point Date: Apr 02 2005 10:37:03 AM Author: mr happy boy If you don't get therapy, it's all a waste of time and pointless destruction of the liver and brain. If a doctor prescribes seratonin re-uptake inhibitors alone, s/he's lazy and don't like you for some reason - probably your weird clingy behavior or gentle, constant eye-rolling. Subject: ... Date: Apr 01 2005 06:30:37 PM Author: jiztar Fucking pussies! mental illness! Oh i feel so sorry for you, NOT! Subject: white people Date: Mar 30 2005 08:23:12 AM Author: mauricio anturiano ethiopians dont suffer from depression Subject: fucking white people Date: Mar 30 2005 08:23:12 AM Author: mauricio anturiano ethiopians dont suffer from depression. fuckin fag Subject: Up with meds. Date: Mar 28 2005 09:55:29 PM Author: shorty from the shining Lots of dudes talk about how our way of dealing with any mental illness is to give everybody the same general diagnosis and medications. A lot of the talk amounts to people saying how much all psychiatry and medication suck. I think that's a bunch of weak shit. Hating on psychotropic medications is just as much a feature of Western capitalist society as poor mental health care - people see meds as a symbol of weakness, and resent them. Yeah, they can make you feel flat or tired, and plenty of them have bullshit side effects and withdrawal symptoms. But it's not fucking like most people on meds could deal perfectly without them. Even poorly prescribed meds are better than nothing. I mean, what would we do without them? Are people supposed to be able to just muster up the WILLPOWER to make themselves better? Personally, I'm not into some masochist purity trip; I'm more concerned about getting better as soon as possible. I'm sticking with pills until whenever, with no regrets. Subject: get more informed Date: Mar 27 2005 11:50:31 PM Author: Code46 This site has lots of first-hand reporting on psych meds and good info: http://www.crazymeds.org/ Subject: i agree Date: Mar 24 2005 05:07:40 PM Author: dave im all fucked up in warsaw, i hate "meds" but im mad without them! Subject: meds for mental illness. Date: Mar 24 2005 05:16:01 PM Author: henry I'm all for medication. In fact it's the best medicine for everything. Depressed? meds. Fat? meds. Psychotic? meds. Happy? meds. Hungry? meds. not hungry? meds. Can't concentrate? meds. anything and everything? meds. There is only one problem with a med-centred culture and the overuse of meds for the quick fix of problems that generally take more therapy than any social welfare state system will sanction, and that is side effects. Most of these medications are passed rather quickly without precautionary test phases, which should ethically take into account the entire life span of the patient. Take ritalin for example, we still do not know what the side effects of prolonged ritalin use are, but there have been rumours, such as a tendency for it to cause symptoms similar to alzeihmers. Even if this is a bullshit claim it is still something to think about. Medication can afford a degree of independance that may not have been previously possible to a patient and this is a great thing for the short term, but what about the long term? If we had more time and more money to really look at the issues surrounding mental illness as opposed to the quick fix method would we see a difference? Subject: Long-winded, yes. Date: Mar 23 2005 06:21:12 PM Author: Jenny Maybe there's not so much wrong after all (in the 19th century, Krafft-Ebbing asserted that oral sex and masturbating were associated with mental illness, which demonstrates that the medical community doesn't know everything at all times). Maybe you function very well in a way that most people don't. Subject: Still summing up Date: Mar 23 2005 06:20:04 PM Author: Jenny preparing for a big conference presentation). I probably was impulsive, but then everyone expected it of me, so it was tacitly acceptable. I probably did have an eating disorder, but it's really a socially-acceptable coping mechanism, and all of the attention my family gave the matter just exacerbated it. I still have the dissociative disorder, but I hold myself accountable for my behavior. I have a history of self-injury, but in reframing my discussion of it, I've let it not be an option as a coping mechanism. I liked having professionals explain myself to me. I liked having labels and names and being categorized. Most people do, demonstrably. Now I like learning to be independent enough to function. I like giving more attention to being healthy than to naming what's wrong and talking about it all of the time. I like my subjectivity not being constructed around vogue diagnoses. 4. If you benefit from therapies that I didn't benefit from, I'm glad you've found the resources you need. Invest as much time and money as you and your community deem necessary. 5. If you have spent years in school studying these issues and have made it your profession, thank you for being a humanitarian. Thank you for caring about people who don't have it in them to care for themselves. 6. If you aren't seeing an improvement, take more responsibility for yourself maybe. Educate yourself. Think about why you're not improving. Maybe it's simply a wrong dosage. Subject: To sum up Date: Mar 23 2005 05:37:30 PM Author: Jenny I just want to make my position clear, because it seems some of you have misread my early two-part commentary: 1. Some people have valid conditions that benefit from medications. 2. Some people have psychosomatic disorders but are led to believe that their conditions are chronic and will not improve unless there's been a sufficient investment in some sort of therapy (talk, shock, whatever). 3. In my 12-year experience as someone considered severely mentally ill (and I certainly recognize that my experience cannot account for everything but that anyone's perspective must be limited, even given the extensive reading that I've done on the matter in my university's science library), I had been led to believe that I would need to be in therapy for a very long time and that med. therapy would augment talk therapy indefinitely. There was no end in sight, no matter how much progress I made. I have made more progress without therapy and have come to recognize that, according to standard diagnostic criteria, I really don't have anything I was diagnosed with. Medication did not keep me from attempting suicide multiple times. I never attempted suicide unless I was on medications, actually. I let myself be deluded. I probably did hallucinate, but that might have had something to do with my obsessive study habits (which I recognize is a problem anyway, but it's not so uncommon to keep yourself up for two days preparing for a big conference pre Subject: Swallowing Date: Mar 23 2005 11:37:32 AM Author: Preston H. Dovemaster IV Hey Bri, If you think swallowing your feel-better products is tough, then think about this - Soon-Yi regularly has to swallow her step-dads rancid emission of neurotic little jew-goo. That should turn all of our frowns upside down. Yours, PHD IV Subject: stay in line Date: Mar 23 2005 10:02:40 AM Author: rick take your pills eat at McDonald's work in a company buy shit stay in line Subject: 1 thing that I've learned.... Date: Mar 23 2005 09:00:39 AM Author: Sprite the 1 thing I've learned over my 30 years is to NEVER judge anyone but yourself. Even if you've lived EXACTLY the same life and have EXACTLY the same brain chemistry as Brian, that doesn't mean for a moment that you are feeling what he is. If taking this medication is helping him in life, then BACK OFF! Hopefully one day he'll be able to ween himself off the pills and not revert back to what he was going thru without them, but even if he doesn't the point is he says they are helping him live his life. Why are most of these posts so fucking cynical? And specifically to 30507321C - you're the type of person that everyone thinks is crazier than Brian. Subject: the agony of deceit Date: Mar 23 2005 12:15:14 AM Author: Baron Von Samedie Try adding Stictnine pellets to your list...and CUT your finger nails fuckface!. Subject: To 1st comment author :3507321C Date: Mar 22 2005 11:31:49 PM Author: Lex Fuck You You fucking Asshole -Thanks With love, Lex Subject: ZOMBIE PILL EATERS ! Date: Mar 22 2005 05:01:48 AM Author: 3507321C WAAAAAAAAAAKE UUUUUUUUP !!!!!!! DEAL WITH REALITY !!!!!!! LIFE IS SHIT !! BOO FUCKIN HOO !!!!!! EVERYTIME SOMEONE HAS A FUCKIN BLUE MONDAY THEY RUN TO THE DOC AFTER SEEIN SOME FUCKIN PHARMACORP COMMERCIAL AND BRAINFUCK THEMSELVES !!!!!!!!!!! HAPPINES IN SLAVERY ! NOT PHARMACY ! Subject: twilight Date: Mar 21 2005 09:41:02 PM Author: hazyville you don't deserve to be lonely but those drugs you got won't make you feel better pretty soon you'll find it's the only little part of your life you're keeping together Subject: from a psychologist in training Date: Mar 19 2005 09:12:22 PM Author: vanessa Until all of the ignorent motherfuckers who are making rude comments are in this guy's position, you all need to shut the fuck up. Mental illness, especially one that involves psychosis is a devastating thing. And while there is choice involved, in terms of attempting to hold a job etc, no one chooses to have psychotic symptoms. The mind constructs reality; if your mind is affected, guess what, so's your reality. So I can see how a manic individual may feel violent and want to make threats. What would you do if you felt your life was being threatened? This guy appears to be doing the best that he can with the tools that he has, so why can't you just appreciate that instead of making yourselves feel better about your pathetic little lives by making fun of him? Subject: this is wierd Date: Mar 18 2005 05:55:39 PM Author: mg The more i read this issue, the more I think I've been nuts for years, since high school, mabye before. The same symptoms... Lethargy, inability to hold down a job or relationship, moderate to heavy drug use... i even spent cash I couldn't spare on a coffee, now I'm fucked. I always thought people were just kidding when they told me i needed help. I didn't know heroin was a recreational drug. Its the one drug I haven't tried... Subject: Cheeseburgers Date: Mar 18 2005 11:26:05 AM Author: chickenfried A little bout of homelessness and you won't have time to worry about your 'problems'. Subject: Brian Date: Mar 18 2005 09:40:49 AM Author: brenda starr This dude is way hot, and I would get down and have crazy ass sex with him. I would make him cut up his meds and snort them off my ass! Subject: H Date: Mar 17 2005 04:26:41 PM Author: Imo I'm sick of this thing where it's impossible to do heroin casually. Wrong. It's absolutely possible to walk away from it and I'm sick of people using its like mythical status to excuse the fact that they have no willpower. I played around with it for years in college--just don't shoot it and you'll be a'ight. Subject: Be more like Charlie Sheen Date: Mar 17 2005 03:39:08 PM Author: hairdigger I'm sorry to hear abut your poor decisions. Some people are born with a vulnerablility to schitzophrenia and bi-polar disorders but what tips them off the deep end is all the drugs. And BTW,I have to concur with buddy that heroin is not a recreational drug. Maybe you should be a motivational speaker or something, you know, to the kids. Subject: topamax Date: Mar 17 2005 03:05:05 PM Author: audrey heartburn I dunno about this article. There's a difference between doing something out of compulsion and doing something because that's how you figure crazies should act. "That's how psychotic I was. My mom came in and saw me doing that and flipped out. It got to the point where—and I am not happy to admit this—I threatened her life, both verbally and physically. The police got involved. That's how bad I was. With this medicine in me, I would never think of doing such a thing" That's such whiney nonsense. I take Topamax because I found myself pulling out one of my molars while sitting at my desk and I really couldn't figure out why. Compulsion isn't psychosis. Subject: drugs Date: Mar 17 2005 06:19:10 AM Author: Pyrrho Jim Goad post on Paxil @ jimgoad.com All i could get off my doctor was nasty tricyclics. I threw them away and started smoking instead. Problem solved. Subject: ... Date: Mar 17 2005 01:15:53 AM Author: rat meds are a drag, but it's better than being a washed out mess. Subject: sad people Date: Mar 17 2005 12:17:24 AM Author: need coffee coffee IS gas. I don't know what the deal is with these people. They sound like sad-sack losers that used to be interesting. They used to be manic and vital and crazy like any thinking person who takes a good look around. Now they all look like child molesters. Is that a side-effect of the meds? Would explain Michael Jackson Subject: i like final fantasy Date: Mar 16 2005 02:16:00 PM Author: Monigan Yeah you know my brother has Type I diabetes too. But I think if he just focused on the positive he wouldn't need insulin and all that. He just needs to get over it. Subject: >...... Date: Mar 15 2005 02:56:44 PM Author: M. That thing about spending money on coffee rather than gas--I can really identify with that... Subject: Anti-Ironic Date: Mar 15 2005 05:15:27 AM Author: The frown upside down Alright you stupid bitches. Listen, I don't know if VICE wrote this artice (and probably they don't either) for some sort of biting irony kind of thing, but check this out: VICE is probably one of the most pro-drugs periodicals out there. So, whether it is the writers, editors, or readers busting on using prescription drugs to help with MAJOR life problems...well, let's just say that it's not only affected bullshit but it is hypocritical as well. And if you really truly believe that these people are brainwashed by big Pharma companies or wanna "cop out" on their problems by taking some pills... consider this: ex. 1. Bob is so depressed that he is suicidal. He either: 1-kills himself, scarring his family and friends forever, or 2- trying a chemical approach to solving a potential chemical problem. ex. 2. Jill comes from a stable and loving family but is psychotic. Although friends of the family say that she just needs to "look on the bright side" or "let some steam off," she is having serious thoughts of murdering people. Should she take a pill and possibly be able to control and surmount her violent thoughts? or "not cop out" and then maybe kill her entire family and then herself? Boy that would be really cool...maybe not the murdering the family part, but at least she kept it "real". V Subject: Fuck the flesh mechanics Date: Mar 15 2005 04:53:45 AM Author: world's fuckedest cunt My friend was having some anxiety attacks. So he went to the doctor to find out why, he was perfectly happy and satisfied in all other ways. The doctor told him they could put him on prozac. That was the only answer. So he went to a natropath who gave him a whole life style change that seemed to do the trick. I don't really believe in natropaths and shit but maybe some options need to be examined before medication. I think I'm saying the same thing as everybody else. Hooray for everything. Subject: Pharma < saurus. Date: Mar 14 2005 12:35:33 PM Author: Daniel Jonas Well this individual is a prime example of what not to do when your life sue-axe. Bravo, a job at UPS and not a care in the world. I guess he is happy popping a instant remedy to a obvious solution, you are forgetfull. Typical malestrom of the meek. Subject: .. Date: Mar 14 2005 03:36:02 AM Author: Meds are Great Can't comment on pysch pills but I just got some Xenical in an unmarked package from India and I'm thrilled to be able to drink beer every day while at the same time losing weight. I just hope I don't look like party-Gandhi in the end.. Subject: suggestion Date: Mar 13 2005 03:18:14 PM Author: grobe hey! have you guys done an article about ween? they're more vice than blow cut with AIDS. you bring the razor blades, i'll bring the speed. take off your clothes. it's going to be a long night. hugs, alex Subject: I am Joe's smug sense of satisfaction Date: Mar 11 2005 07:38:26 PM Author: Dr. Gonzo I wouldn't know Paxil from a Pop-Tart. I liked Vice better when the stories featured androgynous naked hedonists mixing 8-balls and Wild Turkey, then trashing a hotel room. Subject: umm...wanna tip? Date: Mar 11 2005 07:22:28 PM Author: Drew ...herion is NOT a recreational drug boy-o. Sorry to break it to you, but that MAY have been part of your problem originally; mis-labeling shit. Heroin clearly falls under the "what happened, why does my ass hurt and my wallet empty" category. Guess it's too late, but you shoulda smacked YOURSELF around and gotten your shit together w/out the meds. Now look... you're dependant upon them and one day you'll get tired of your reliance and stop. THEN you'll know psychotic. My tip? stop the meds man. Subject: ....I wasn't finished! Date: Mar 11 2005 01:37:32 AM Author: Jenny k we need to recognize that money is its primary motivator. Health care workers want to see you better, but the CEO of a company doesn't quite give a fuck it I'm spending $70 a month on a TA's salary for medicine that I function better without. Okay. I'm done talking. Subject: Give me that Z-o-l-o-f-t.... Date: Mar 11 2005 01:32:38 AM Author: Jenny That Ween song was in my head as I read the article. I was once in a hospital for (proud moment, this) attempted suicide, and this doctor who saw me for 20 minutes (total, the cum. of three separate appointments) decided I was bipolar even though I'd never ever had a manic episode. They put me on whatever everyone - and I mean everyone - else was on. Everyone in there was diagnosed bipolar. It was disgusting. I quit all of the meds (I'd been on so many of them for depression and anxiety disorders and whatever) and just kind of got over myself. I quit letting organized communal religion (consecutive protestant churches and then the LDS church and then unitarian universalism) and doctors be responsible for me and decided to think for and be accountable for myself. I ignored the people who said I was probably severely mentally ill (but they couldn't come to a consensus on a diagnosis) and decided I could take care of myself. I got my shit together. And now I'm going to go to grad school at Urbana with a 4.0. I think psychology is a eurocentric psuedo-science. I'm not discounting your equally valid experiences. There are people, likely you as well, who actually need to be on these medicines. They've kept alot of people functional, and for that they deserve society's gratitude. But pharm. companies and private psychs are part of the capitalist enterprise just as much as The Gap and Starbucks. Capitalism isn't bad, I just thin Subject: thats funny Date: Mar 10 2005 09:10:45 AM Author: elizabeth I take the same pills (sans clozaril) for different reasons - I recognized which meds he was on by the picture, like I could tell by the colour and the shape. But, I'm not manic or bipolar, the meds are for an ed and ocd - I think the majority of people, myself included, probably are just too saturated in drug that they don't know how to cope without. I feel the same way if I don't take my pills - lethargic and useless. |
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