Could the National-Bolsheviks Party be any cooler please? They’re hyper-lefty nationalists who want to destroy Putin, crush corporate influence, and give Russia back to the Russians. The liberals hate them for being patriotic, the right hates them for shitting on big business, and my dick hates them for making him too big to fit in my pants.
Most girls in communist countries only listen to R&B and house. They just found out about Sonic Youth five years ago (no joke). That’s why, after having thousands of nightclub tits stuffed in your face, it’s such a relief to see an underdressed girl with a cartoon watch come over and say, “I like the Pixies but I don’t have to hear ‘This Monkey’s Gone to Heaven’ ever again for the rest of my life.”
When cops and skinheads are waiting on every street corner to pound you into a coma and you sit around in partisan sweatshirts smoking hookahs with white chicks, you have way more than just balls. You have medicine balls.
Going for the Judah Friedlander goof thing is funny in Montreal, but in a city where everyone is always completely shitfaced out of their fucking minds, it goes way beyond a goof. It’s a way of life. Like, you wear your wig to work and funerals and stuff.
When you see fags in the West Village prancing around yelling “We’re here, we’re queer,” it’s a great big yaaaawn. When you see this puckered homo walking through the streets of Moscow (a place where they’re so scared of being near gays they prefer bats to knives), you feel like high-fiving him and screaming “Yoh, dude!” like he’s a human dare.
What do we have in the sticks of North America, fat pink people with unfunny T-shirts and Big Mac sauce on their chins? Russia has Evenks feeding reindeer from their kitchen window and having 3,658 words for snow. It’s like their whole culture is looking at us going, “And SNAP!”
This guy is simultaneously recognizing that the days of begging for denim are over and Russians can have anything Western they want, AND retaining a shout-out to the old school by wearing his grandpa’s old fur hat. Looks fucking ridiculous, but politically it’s a blast.
Finding stylish girls in Russia is like finding food that doesn’t make you barf—impossible. The best thing to do is throw up your hands and go for these bizarre hip-hop clowns that look like Iranian tourists visiting LA. You’re not going to have much to talk about, but at least you know the sex is going to be weird and ambitious.
Every summer there’s a huge LSD rave next to a nuclear reactor on the Black Sea. Instead of glow sticks and stupid pants, however, Russians opt for construction signs warning of imminent danger and the broken branches of misshapen trees. Feel like a pussy yet?
You know what? Fuck it. We love CCCP. They’re like New Yorkers back in the cabbie days: In-your-face nihilists all day and then drunken exhibitionists at night. They could give a shit what you have to say about it and if you think they’re uncool... “What?”
I was saying, if you think they’re uncool... “Sorry, I can’t hear you. I’ll do shots with you after this next dance. Hold on.” Oh forget it.
If Chris Cornell looked like this I’d start listening to Soundgarden again. See all | Enlarge / Comment
It’s hard to find a fun couple that feels like going out more than once a week and you’re not even sure which one you like better. Like even if the guy doesn’t make it, you and your girlfriend just hang out with her and you don’t feel like a fag for “goofing with the gals.” If you are a couple like this, know that you represent about 17% of the couple population and it’s time to get married.
Vice Magazine - I WENT UNDERCOVER IN THE WORLD OF SYRIAN WHOREHOUSES - PART 2 -
MUZIEK
COOL KIDS
De hiphop scène van Chicago stijgt zowat op, en dit neongekleurde duo genaamd The Cool Kids is daar mede verantwoordelijk voor. Chuck Inglish (22) en Mikey Rocks (19) zijn elkaar ooit op Myspace tegengekomen.
BLOG
WILLEM WEVER EXPERIMENTEERT
'Drop it like it's hot' is maar één van de vele rare semi-wetenschappelijke experimenten van deze scholier uit de VS. Creativiteit kent geen grenzen, je weet toch.
ARTIKEL
DIT IS GEWELDIG
Ik ben niet een van die gasten die mensen op feestjes in een hoekje duwt om tegen hen tekeer te gaan over biodiesel, ook ben ik niet iemand die mensen “fucking idioten” noemt als ze sceptisch zijn over de opwarming van de aarde.
REVIEW
REVIEWS
Reviews van o.a., GIRL TALK, KID ROCK, LOS CAMPESINOS, WU-TANG CLAN, PERCEPTIE, MATTAFIX, BRITISH SEA POWER, BLACK MOUNTAIN EN AARON.
Comments: Subject: nice Date: May 01 2006 03:22:57 AM Author: scoobi-snack
