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The secret to giving good head is to read the signs. You could be the best sexual mechanic in the world, but if you can’t read the emotional road signs, you’re going to end up wandering around in a desolate labial wasteland until, eventually, you drop from exhaustion, hot tears of confusion streaming down your face. Think of eating the puss as your way of saying, “although I am about to rock your insides with 3 000 lbs. of explosives, here’s a little intimate treat session to show you how I really feel.” Instead of screaming “OH MY GOD!!” like her baby has been trapped under a car (which is what fucking should do), cunnilingus elicits a more splendiferous “ooohmygodohmygod-ohmygod.” Kind of like being massaged with exotic fruits by a muscular Arab oil sheik. A good mange (that’s French for “eat,” you brutes) is like a thousand years of Saturdays or one of those Flake adverts. Break it down! BE DOWN Don’t go down unless you’re down. Unlike fellatio, cunnilingus can never be done as a favor. Doing it when you don’t want to will only bring on the dry heaves. Eat like a pig at the trough and a lot of stupid mistakes get forgiven. DON’T SAY HI TO DRY A dry pussy is an unhappy pussy. If your fingers graze a dry bush, go back to the kissing and hugging for awhile. Just make sure you actually dip your finger between the lips. Sometimes moisture gets trapped between the labia and a little fingerial coaxing is all that’s needed to get the honey dripping. Once you’re sure the beaver is wet, give it a few light, teasing strokes with your finger. There’s nothing worse than rushing into this, so make sure she’s really begging for it before you get under the covers. Extra tip: Be like Prince and bring up a wet finger that both of you can share like a 1950s milkshake with two straws. Important: Don’t play your trump card too soon by putting your fingers all the way inside. This can detract from the upcoming penetration and kill the tease factor. Try to remember that 78% of a woman’s pleasure is about yearning. Poking it in too soon is sure to put out the fire. SUBMARINE MISSION FOR YOU, BABY Once she’s lathered up, it’s time to go down. Get your fingers out of there and don’t touch anything for a bit. Let your lap do a bit of grinding and get some last-minute necking in like you’re going away on vacation. Though it’s very tempting on your way down to pull the blankets over your head like the little mole-man that you are, this is a very bad idea. It gets super hot down there and whipping the duvet off your head and gasping for air ten seconds before she comes is pretty much going to kill the mood. Start by kissing her boobs and stomach and slowly working your way down. Don’t get carried away with those stupid tits, though. That’s something you should have taken care of before the pants even came off. Right now it’s all about the stomach and inner thighs. A little bit of gentle biting is good, but a sure winner is to start at the knee and move towards the muff in a slow, shark-like swoop. Nibble your way right up to the edge of her cunt, then skip across it and head for the other knee. Repeat. Doing this a few times will get her really hot and save you a lot of pussy-eating time in the long run. When you’re just about ready to do the deed, start practicing on that weird crevice next to the lips. Don’t spend too long there or she might start to think that you think that’s the actual cunt. By now she should be dying for you to make your move. If you’re doing it right, she’ll be moaning and trying to force your head between her legs. Stretch this phase out until she looks like she’s been holding her breath for three days. Extra trick: Hover over the bush for about five seconds before the first lick. If you wait longer than that, she might think you’re having second thoughts because it smells bad. Of course, we all knows that motherfucker smells sweeter than a bowl of steamin’ crawdaddies. Important: Never bite the cunt in any way whatsoever. If this needs more explaining you should probably just stick to jerking off. PARTING THE RED SEAS Isolate your playing field. Pubic hairs are to eating pussy what cavities are to dental hygiene. You’re never going to be able to identify all the parts if she looks like that PIL album That What is Not. One hot trick is to get her to spread her lips apart so her pussy is all set up for you like a great big buffet. THE GRAND ENTRANCE Do your first lick super slow. It’s good to groan and moan too. It shows you’re digging it while sending microscopic audiophonic vibrations right up her snapper. Start just above the anus and take it all the way to the fur. Do about a dozen of these “St. Bernard licks” before moving on (take it really slow, like four seconds per lick). This is a good time to figure out what kind of clit she has. If it’s real sensitive she’ll probably convulse as you pass over it and that means you’re probably in for an easy ride. If there’s no reaction when you graze over her clit, she probably has one of those nerveless little pea clits and you’re in for a thirty-minute session of tongue-tendinitis. ROCK THE BOAT Eating pussy is so gentle it can make you feel like a bit of a fag. If you’re getting tired of being ballerina boy, take it out on the clit. Figure out how much abuse it can take without making her uncomfortable and show the little bastard who’s boss. After all, Mr. Elusive is precisely what makes muff diving so difficult. He’s surrounded by labia and, even after you find him, all the pressure can pop him over to the side. All of a sudden you’re giving the pee hole the seeing to of its life. Think of the clit like a tumor in a pile of ear lobes. When you push down on the area he’s the only one that can’t be squished. Once one of your tongue troopers finds him, call for reinforcements. Use your lips to get hers out of the way and focus all your attention into getting him alone. Once you find him, give him a bit of a hard time for trying to hide from you. Frisk him and give him a couple of whacks across the head. More on this punk and his bad attitude later. Extra important tip: The best way to stimulate the clit is to run your entire tongue over it after you isolate it from the lips. The man in the boat should feel the texture of the entire tongue pushing down on his body and his boat. IDENTIFYING THE CLIT TYPE After the slow licks it’s time to get this party started. There are essentially two types of clitori. Ones that enjoy a serious going over and ones that don’t. The latter suck about as much as a one-inch penis and you should dump her right away. Extra tip: Clits come in all shapes, sizes and sensitivities, but that doesn’t really tell you much. All of them want to be treated slow and soft at the beginning but the only way to tell if you can go fast at the end is by reading her reactions. This is impossible to teach but just do the best you can. All we can tell you is convulsing means take it ease and “Oh my God” means bring it on. CLITS THAT NEED A SERIOUS GOING OVER These are the most fun because you can be creative. Pretend your tongue is the bad cop and the clit is the guy who killed your partner. Separate him from his buddies (the lips) and suck him right up into your mouth. Now he’s on your turf. Keep him erect by creating an air-tight vacuum chamber in your mouth. Slap the little bugger upside the head with one big tongue bonk. He’s not going to tell you shit because he’s a clit and he has no idea what you’re talking about, but kick his ass anyway. After a few teasers and swirling circles, rat-a-tat-tat him senseless like a boxer whacking a speed bag. If she starts freaking out like it’s too much, ease up on the interrogation and go back to the St. Bernard licks. The vacuum is a great way to bring her to orgasm, but it’s a bit much sometimes, so mix things up with some circles around the clit and some tongue fucking. As you’re closing in for the kill, go back to the vacuum and give the suspect a relentless head smacking. Up-and-downies are usually the most effective, but your tongue will get less tired if you throw in a few side-to-sides. When you feel the inner thighs start to shake, this is it. Be repetitive. Do NOT be creative. You’re almost home and this is not the time to start changing tactics. Extra tip: To keep the rhythm going, try repeating a chant in your head that goes with the movement of your tongue like a Mic Mac Indian (hi-yi-yi-ya, hi-yi-yi-ya, hi-yi-yi-ya). Any inconsistent action may throw her off, killing the mood or at least setting you back a few minutes, which is bad for morale. Important: Keep going several seconds after her orgasm. Remember, it isn’t over until the hands come down from above and lay you off. If she’s multi-orgasmic you’ll have to keep going until you’ve done the whole routine another four or five times. If you’re not sure what to do, just keep giving her shit until the magic hands come down to pull you off. CLITS THAT DON’T Some clits don’t want to be singled out and battered around. These are the boring ones that need to be treated with gentle care. Just do casual St. Bernard licks until she cums, pure and simple. If you’re getting bored try going in some different directions for a while. A good way to keep it random is to spell out different letters of the alphabet with the tip of your tongue. You could be looking at half an hour here pal, and that can be problematic. If you go for that long and she doesn’t cum, you’re going to be in a foul mood, so if it’s too much work, move on. On the bright side, going for thirty minutes is something few people have the patience for, so sticking it out will lead to some payback when period week comes around. THE CONCLUSION Once you’re done (totally finished) she’s going to want you out of there pronto because the whole area is sensitive. Instead of leaving, stick out your tongue and lay it down on her like a thick, soggy carpet. Make sure you don’t move it or anything because that can actually hurt her. Just let it sit there like a dead manta ray for about thirty seconds. Then come up and wipe your face like a pirate. You now have a good minute to get the condom on and take her from the quarters of Prince Muhammad Muhammad Saddat to the cockpit of an F-15. GAVIN MCINNES |
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Comments:
John Keats, on Nov 28 2008 05:19:10 PM wrote: It takes a licking; one keeps on sipping. 
Ray , on Nov 18 2008 06:17:52 PM wrote: I printed it up and will read it next time I do the deed. If she has a belly button ring I can prop it up against her boobs as if I were reading sheet music.
kitty, on Nov 18 2008 04:02:33 PM wrote: you forgot to mention fingers! I finger up there while being licked will never make you want to have it done any other way. not a ramming one, a 'come hither' one. trust me.
Juiczy Cat, on Nov 07 2008 12:04:50 AM wrote: Wow oh yeeaa he spread my legs widely apart and gave me the real fuck of my love for 95 mins. I got the size of my clit trippled. I like my pussy being eaten till it turns redish-pink. Do you want to try me?
MICK, on Nov 02 2008 01:45:41 AM wrote: i think i like dick
brianna , on Nov 01 2008 04:56:02 PM wrote: wow me and my boyfriend are together in the same room right now and he just got done eating my pussy out and damn did it feel like i was in heaven hes getting ready to do it again so bye oh baby getting eat out is the best thing in the world
andy g u, on Oct 29 2008 10:33:37 AM wrote: great guide, a bit long winded though, my advice is show some enthuismasm, nothing will get any woman going more then effort, show that your keen, it will get her excited, which will make your job tens times easier!
Frankie T, on Oct 26 2008 11:15:26 AM wrote: I love to eat it if you want me to I will eat it for you I'm in Philly
The Shower Man, on Oct 25 2008 10:28:43 PM wrote: NO REAL MAN WOULD EVER EAT PUSSY
berryblue, on Oct 22 2008 01:42:00 AM wrote: that.was. so fucking hot. just thinking that a guy would be that giving would make me so turned on that i would cum all over myself while im blowing him...
gorkhali , on Oct 21 2008 04:08:08 PM wrote: if a woman you love looks cute and smells naturally excellent(female sex pheromones), that is one of her greatest sexual resources.just hug, kiss and start suck her nipples, put the fingers in her panty from outside and then in the panty. you will have the first phase of joy of sex when your cock starts to leak something. this is the time you will love to eat the beatiful pussy you love. once you go down you really don't like to withdraw your mouth unless she will also start to suck your juice from the cock and leaves the scrotum empty.
Sarah kinna, on Oct 19 2008 10:23:15 AM wrote: I've eaten my friend's pussy before and it drives her insane when I have a dildo handy. And then ruth just goes off the richter
sara, on Sep 13 2008 02:17:01 PM wrote: Lovely article. I must find a way to anonymously send this to my ex - I swear the man had no tongue at all. No future girl should have to suffer through that ...
MICK, on Sep 01 2008 07:09:52 AM wrote: I know you girls love to have your pussies explored with a tongue. Do you also love to have your anus licked and probed with your partners tongue?? I know my girl does. She loves to have me start with her anus, getting it loose and lubed up with my tongue then move to her dripping pussy. While I lick her clit and probe her vagina with my tongue, I will gently insert a finger in her rectum. Once her sphincter relaxes I will then insert her vibrator just inside her rectum. She says the vibrator in her anus and my tongue on her clit sends her into a major orgasm. When she is finished cumming she allows me to lube up my huge throbbing cock and masturbate on her face. Then I am instructed to lick her clean and deep French kiss her until all the sperm is swallowed by both of us.
me, on Aug 18 2008 12:16:04 PM wrote: you guys are fuckin creepy
sean fraser, on Aug 15 2008 07:14:19 PM wrote: any young girl that want to be eaten e-mail me at seanyone@hotmail.com
sean fraser, on Aug 15 2008 07:12:27 PM wrote: any young girl that want to be eaten e-mail me at seanyone@hotmail.com
sean fraser, on Aug 15 2008 07:05:37 PM wrote: hey aly i am 15 years old and i will eat u hey babegurl993@yahoo.com add mine seanyone@yahoo.com
pussyboy, on Aug 15 2008 02:49:35 PM wrote: any girl want me to eat her pussy email me at ps3son11@yahoo.com my AIM is BsktbllLover6 i promise i will make u cum
K, on Jul 29 2008 01:24:27 PM wrote: Lottie's comment says not to kiss us on the mouth afterwards. She sucks. I am a girl and I LOVE it when I can taste myself all over a guy's face. Lottie is a prude. Pussy tastes awsome.
Tasty, on Jul 27 2008 09:53:10 PM wrote: I love t o have my pussy eaten and I have not been on a date since my divorce in 2 years anyone willing to apply in the Converse, TX area let me know. I love geeting eaten and I miss it so much I to receive as well as return; oral sex is total pleasure
irishrover, on Jul 11 2008 02:17:07 AM wrote: I love to eat pussy I love to kiss and lick ever part of a womans body
pussy eater, on Jun 26 2008 04:09:24 AM wrote: i love eating pussy and have tasted many pussies... mail me if you wanna hear my true stories ..fareens@lankasom.net
Date: Jun 16 2008 01:53:42 PMAuthor: know-it-all #1 rule is don't overdo it from the start, kills it, or shocks it, and then it's not so responsive--you just ruined it. you can first gently run your finger over it in her underwear stroking to arouse it, saves you time later with your tongue. feel if it rises a little and gets bigger. don't waste too much time on the thighs or anything, spend more of it on the clit but teasing it for a long time, not moving away from it for too long or it's like starting over. you can avoid the very tip until later in the game. make an upside down "U" going over one inner lip, up over the mid of the clit, coming down, and back again. this teases well. then go side to side with your tongue (or up and down, i like side to side), she may have a favorite side you can ask, and start slow and speed up gradually. don't go too fast too soon or you'll be stuck doing it for a long time, because there's no going back once you're there, remember overdoing it at any point ruins the necessary buildup. feel it out. once you're there, then if you can maintain going fast for a while you're awesome, stick your finger in and this can send her over the top. note: this works for me and many other women, some women like the constant big flat tongue thing but it doesn't work for me at all i just get frustrated. note 2: be aggressive before all this, in stroking her body and grabbing her and all, it's a turn on, and pay her lots of compliments on her body, so she's not questioning what you think of her, a turnoff. tell her it tastes good too. tell her you like her boobs, some girls are stupid and self-conscious about small ones, (all girls stop this now non-meathead types are into your body). note 3 : invest. the first time may take 30 min, don't hate here, it can clear her mental blockade though and more confident for next time, so next time it can take half as long. there's alot of pressure about having an orgasm. don't expect one, or expect one too soon, or expect a squirter, or anything unrealistic, and the pressure is off, and the likelihood of you pleasing her just increased. say " i know it's the first time i'm doing this to you so i have to learn, i'm not expecting anything i'm just having fun so let me do it". If she feels pressure to have an orgasm she may make you stop or worse, fake it, which sets up a bad pattern and more pressure for her for next time. if you don't succeed, do try again, and express eagerness to do so. once you cross that bridge, it's easier. Date: Jun 15 2008 01:51:33 PM Author: BabyBelle Ugh, after reading this article I highly regret dumping my boyfriend. He fingered me a few times on my bed and in his washroom at his house; it was pleasuring. Last time he came to my house, we were both downstairs lying on my couch snuggled together and he kissed it neck softly and caressed my breasts. It was quite the turn on, so I let him make his way down my slip on short shorts and he started rubbing my pussy in a circular motion then dug into my hole. He went in and out, increasing speed. I -love- it when he goes fast, it drives me insane. Anyway after he pulled my pants off and wanted to eat me, but I refused 'cause we haven't been together that long. Fuck! Now I wish he'd eaten my pussy before we broke up... Date: Jun 15 2008 01:51:23 PM Author: BabyBelle Ugh, after reading this article I highly regret dumping my boyfriend. He fingered me a few times on my bed and in his washroom at his house; it was pleasuring. Last time he came to my house, we were both downstairs lying on my couch snuggled together and he kissed it neck softly and caressed my breasts. It was quite the turn on, so I let him make his way down my slip on short shorts and he started rubbing my pussy in a circular motion then dug into my hole. He went in and out, increasing speed. I -love- it when he goes fast, it drives me insane. Anyway after he pulled my pants off and wanted to eat me, but I refused 'cause we haven't been together that long. Fuck! Now I wish he'd eaten my pussy before we broke up... Date: Jun 03 2008 11:34:34 PM Author: flyygurl Reading that made me horny. I need to find a guy in boston who can eat my black pussy like that. email:flyygurl21@yahoo.com Date: Jun 01 2008 05:31:13 AM Author: ... i want my pussy eaten, i'm getting wet just thinking about someones tongue playing with my wet shaved pussy. If ur from Queensland Australia and want to suck my clit then fuck me stupid, send me an email at i_like_gettin_my_pussy_eatn@slutmail.com haha most of these comments are just cyber porn. Btw mick are you really just a 14 year old boy who has googled 'pussy' on the internet and are now masturbating thinking about a girl in your year 9 math class. If your for real you have serious problems. Date: May 21 2008 04:30:25 PM Author: Pussylovin Great writtin just one thing try to use ur nose alittle goin on an up n dwn motion. My girl loves to feel more than just my tongue in there Date: May 19 2008 11:10:51 PM Author: Shawty Danm this is sum true shit here i gotta admit i love gettin ate out n my bf can do sum gud magic wit his tounge:-) Date: May 16 2008 02:32:00 PM Author: Vic Wish I could find a girl in the Philadelphia area that I could practice on Date: May 09 2008 07:30:19 PM Author: MICK Another good session is when my girlfriends lesbian girlfriend licks her pussy while masturbate and shoot my huge load in Ericas face. then I'm forced to lick my girls pussy and Ericas face clean. Date: May 09 2008 07:27:41 PM Author: MICK I also love to eat mu girlfriends pussy while her lesbian girlfriend fucks her in the ass with a huge strap-on. My girl will get on her hands and knees with her ass in the air. I will lay under her in the 69 position. we will give each other oral sex while Erica fucks my girlfriend in the ass with this huge fucking stap-on dildo. Man we all explode together :) Date: Apr 26 2008 12:42:57 PM Author: John Nashville TN pussy eater johnboy39@att.net I love that twat!! Date: Apr 14 2008 08:40:20 PM Author: flyingeagle44 Any of you lovely ladies want your pussy eaten in covington, la area contact me at flyingeagle1944a@yahoo.com Date: Apr 13 2008 07:14:27 AM Author: MICK I agree....i love to eat my girls pussy while I masturbate. I wait until she is cumming then I start jacking off so we both have an orgasm at the same time Date: Apr 03 2008 01:05:22 PM Author: 6 GOLDTEETH I JUST LOVE TO EAT A PUSSY THAT HAS A CLIT THAT IS VERY LARGE HELL IT MAY SOUND CRAZY BUT I WOULD RATHER EAT A BIG PUSSY RATHER THAN FUCK IT Date: Mar 30 2008 10:06:30 PM Author: Yummy Any girl needing a good eating-out email me at c_dyer01905@yahoo.com. (Requirements: Boston, Masachusetts and surrounding areas) Date: Mar 26 2008 08:41:17 PM Author: hotgirl any guy willing to eat my fresh and clean pussy just email me at candy_sweet04@yahoo.com i want to give all guys want.Fuck me hard and suck the cock brings me to heaven,,,i will open my legs so u will se my beautiful pussy Date: Mar 25 2008 08:08:41 PM Author: aaron i love the way a pussysmeall and tastes Date: Mar 24 2008 11:31:02 PM Author: hardcok To all guys want to eat the pussy of women,,first kiss her lips,neck,stomach,arms legs..and then go down to her beautiful pussy and put ur tounge and lick it up and down..then push her pussy lips and lick it.if she became wet put ur finger and rub her pussy and lick it,then insert ur finger to her cunt gently in first then hard while u are eating her pussy to ur mouth...then lick the juices from the cunt, it is very delicious and taste good..then suck the cunt gently then hard...then after this fuck her pussy with ur cock very hard in and out...and make it for a long time, If u feel tired jus Date: Mar 24 2008 11:15:50 PM Author: eat me im looking for a guy willing to suck my fresh and clean pussy...and bring me to heaven while sucking and fucking me hard,,,,im willing to give my virginity and my sweet juices to my pussy to any guy want me..And i want to to feel big cock inside of my pussy and feel the sperms inside of me..i will give the satisfaction although this is my first time but i want only to feel how to become wild and how to play my pussy with his tounge Date: Mar 24 2008 11:05:24 PM Author: hotgirl phh i want to experience also how to eat my pussy and suck my clit very hard.i want to become wet to his mouth and lick my juices and fuck me hard.....pls email me at candy_sweet04@yahoo.com Date: Mar 19 2008 06:18:23 PM Author: MICK My girl loves it when I fuck her doggy style and shoot my hot load deep inside her cunt. Then she squats over my face while I suck the jizz from her Hot, Dripping, Snatch. when all of my cum is gone I am now instructed to lick the vulva clean. She usually has another explosive orgasm while licking her pussy clean :) Subject: Sweet! Date: Mar 18 2008 12:36:06 PM Author: Mr V Entertaining, and extremely informative. I absolutely love going down on a girl, and I'll be sure to utilize your tips! Subject: these tips work... Date: Mar 17 2008 05:22:54 AM Author: phatjuicypusc he laid me back started sucking my big ddd tits. circling my nipples. sucking them lightly biting them making my body shiver, and my pussy throb for his big black cock. I was moaning playing with his balls begging for him to fuck me. he wasn't finished he ran his tongue to my left nipple which was already erect. he told me he loved my big fuckin tits as he showed my nipple no mercy. just when I couldn't take anymore. he licked n kissed my stomach soft n slow. until he got to that straight line we both knew exstacy was inevitable. ..he took his pussy lips in his mouth ran his tongue over my en Subject: eattingpussy Date: Mar 15 2008 01:14:57 PM Author: eatthemup23 i love to eatpussy,just taking about it has me wonting to eat some j.pussy and all ages.so if your man ait't eating your pussy right 1800-eat-them-up will.i will love to make a lady feel like she need to be@lat out some of that good j.... Subject: oh yeah Date: Mar 05 2008 01:29:15 AM Author: lola guys try this on your girl : when she is close to reaching her climax, tongue fuck your girl and get her to rub her clit. feels extra nice:) Subject: yum Date: Feb 26 2008 03:20:59 PM Author: Aly Hey. I wanna get my pussy eaten out for the first time. I'm very young. So anyguys who anna eat my virgin pussy email me at babegurl993@yahoo.com Subject: just need some Date: Feb 18 2008 02:44:18 PM Author: john would have liked some picures Subject: I really love you women Date: Feb 06 2008 05:38:30 PM Author: tommy I have a couple of other tricks too... but my problem is that my sweety can have her orgasm more quickly than I want. I really love long slow sex. Like I said I stop for a moment say how great she is but does anyone have any better techniques for slowing things down yet not loosing the squirming hair pulling and moaning completely. tommy Subject: eating pussy Date: Feb 06 2008 12:34:23 PM Author: tommy I too love to go down on women. I find that when my partner becomes excited inserting one finger is a further aid. First I put it in a little way at the back of her pussy and then I slide it in further and rub the front of her pussy moving my finger in a come to me motion. Next I insert a second finger and move them in and out all the while maintaining the suction on her clit and beating it with my tongue. This produces great results and I often have to stop the tongue action several times and talk about how much I love her pussy to keep her from comming too soon. Subject: Curious & looking Date: Jan 29 2008 01:23:50 PM Author: BamBam4747@aol.com I am in Chicago Area and interested. Give me a shout out ladies Subject: Eat out often Date: Jan 20 2008 05:09:49 AM Author: MICK Mick would love to get the job done for you sister. How old and where you at? That vag sounds like it needs it in a bad way...Yes? Subject: eat out my pussy Date: Jan 19 2008 12:29:20 PM Author: mary hey i tried this with a guy i met at a party and OMFG! it was really great i love guys that eat out my pussy and that play with my boobs i gave him the web site at the party before we done it n he looked it up and then he followed all the steps n tried n tried every thing that he could 2 make me have an organism so if there r anymore guys that want 2 eat pussy out e-mail me at lilskittles012@hotmail.com,sexy_chick130@yahoo.com Subject: eat my pussy out Date: Jan 19 2008 12:19:53 PM Author: mary i just wish a guy would eat out my pussy alot and try to make me have and organism guys that want to eat out my pussy e-mail me at sexy_chick130@yahoo.com my friends e-mail her at lilskittles012@hotmail.com Subject: WHO IZ IN JEFFERSON CITY MISSOURI Date: Jan 19 2008 05:10:11 AM Author: BAY BOSS AKA FEELGOOD FUCK THE SMALL TALK AND ALL THESE PAID CHAT LINES WITH LOW BUDGET HOES LETZ GET DOWN AND DIRTY AND DO THE DAMN THANG U FEEL ME ...GET AT ME HAKEEM_MASTERS@YAHOO.COM Subject: You Fucked Up Man Date: Jan 18 2008 08:46:47 PM Author: MICK Gourmet Pussychef......Man you be one fucked up mother fucker....You couldn't lick a snatch if you tried. The big "V"..It needs to be licked in a "Professional" way.......I be the man to do the JOB JUST RIGHT...I knows how to stimulate that zone just right... I be lickin the big V to make her squirm with delight.. I be here for her all night...Yaaa Baby, hump my face with delight, give me the right to excite your clit tonight!!.....Just cal MICK anytime..Allrigth!!! Subject: OH YEA!!!! Date: Jan 18 2008 01:11:57 AM Author: gourmet pussychef if you'd like to thank me or if it doesnt work 4 u u can cuss me here because i'll prolly never come back to this sight because I'm jus surfing and came across it high_one33@yahoo.com (Benjamin) Subject: MY LIL SECRET!!!!!!!!!!! Date: Jan 18 2008 01:08:08 AM Author: gourmet pussychef Yes everything on sight is very true I'm suprised to find there are others who can eat like me:) anywayz as far as BITING goes true DONT ever bite BUT................. a lil thing I do which works so well I mean better then all this stuff I mean grab your head tear out you hair diggin nails in your scalp SCREAMING tearing your ears off good! Well while your doing all the above mentioned moves u know the part about the man in the boat and the earlobes or whatever (pushing the clit out) well take your upper teeth(assuming you still have them)!!!!DANGER!!! DO NOT BITE OR SLIP,u will be killed bu Subject: Eating Out Date: Jan 13 2008 05:13:27 AM Author: MICK Girls.....When you man is going down on you, and your start to work up to an orgasm, is it ok for him to go down lower and lick your asshole a little then return to your vagina? Subject: holy god Date: Jan 09 2008 12:52:27 AM Author: girl my guy was horrrrrible at this. so, i read this, and instructed him on what to do, then showed him this. now, he cant get enough and neither can i! but put a pillow under your girls hips, it makes the clit easier to find and gives her better stimulation. and, personally, i like a little finger action with it, sends me over the edge. thanks =) Subject: pussy Date: Jan 04 2008 11:41:30 PM Author: mack made me want some pussy right then Subject: BerCcqGokxwaVLNSozX Date: Jan 03 2008 01:20:33 PM Author: nansqyxo d3weLG <a href="http://dffhjvrnfbhg.com/">dffhjvrnfbhg< ;/a>, [url=http://xmyncambbheq.com/]xmyncambbheq[/url], [link=http://vivodalidtym.com/]vivodalidtym[/link], http://ogfkrmrsycdi.com/ Subject: ...WET & HORNY Date: Jan 02 2008 06:39:18 PM Author: DD DAM IM SOOOO WET & HORNY AFTER READING THIS SHIT,... a++ Subject: I WANT.... Date: Jan 02 2008 06:37:29 PM Author: SWEET & TASTY I SOOOO NEED A GUY THAT CAN EAT ME OUT LIKE DAT...SUMONE TO ROCK MY HOT WET PUSS WIT A NICE, LONG & THICK TOUNGE...I HAVE YET MET A GUY THAT CAN MAKE ME CUM...MAYBE IT'S NOT A GUY I NEED...MAYBE A GIRL? ;) Subject: I am addicted too! Date: Dec 25 2007 06:59:37 AM Author: LickDaCat I am in central Florida too but unlike pussyeater18 I only do slim or petite women. No fat ones for me. Half hour or more, no problem at all! Hotmail my name for hot lickin! Subject: Drinking"HOT"PUSSYJUICE Date: Dec 11 2007 06:39:33 PM Author: pussyeater18 in central Florida this ADDICTED"PUSSYEATER" will make you"CUM"more than you ever though a girl could"CUM"vacation-eer`s most welcome.roomservice available may do CREAM-PIE too,love women 300 lbs and UP TOO Subject: general observation Date: Dec 02 2007 07:27:01 PM Author: person fags eat pussy really well! and these are kind of common sense... duh Subject: Date: Nov 12 2007 05:37:07 PM Author: been there done that this article bit chearleader666 guide to eating pussy out. Subject: interesting Date: Oct 31 2007 08:07:52 PM Author: nevr dun it wow maybe I should try it sometime... but at least Im not a retard whos gonna put my # or e-mail on here for all the stalkers in the world to see just cuz I am single... Subject: Tits Date: Oct 28 2007 09:44:09 PM Author: Shelley Love when my man sucks my clit and plays with my tits. Subject: Eating Out Date: Oct 16 2007 07:49:55 PM Author: MICK Marianne, have you ever had your sweet pussy licked by a man? How about a woman? Which do you like best? Subject: pussy eating Date: Oct 08 2007 10:13:52 PM Author: marianne eating pussy is one of the most pleasure thing a man can do for a woman. this sight is the bomb. Subject: Eating Out Date: Oct 05 2007 08:47:19 PM Author: MICK Almost forgot to tell about the time my girlfriend had her sis lay on her belly to belly with their legs spread wide and hip in the air. I then got between their legs and procceded to lick up and down their pussy's man what a treat....2 differant tasting pussy's at one time.....got to try this one...Be sure to give them a little rim job while your at it, they love to feel the tounge touch their anus Subject: Best Way To Eat Out Date: Oct 05 2007 08:41:53 PM Author: MICK My girlfriend and I often have a 3 way with her younger sister. She is 18 and never had her pussy licked until we had her stay over at our place for the weekend. We got sauced on some good vodka and decided to show sis how good a pussy licking is. My best position was sis squatting over my girlfriends face while she tounged here ass and I layed on top of my girlfriend with my cock deep inside here snatch while licking her sisters pussy.....MAN did we all CUM together!!!! Next best was eating out her little sister while my girlfriend jacked my off. Love it Subject: Eating Out Date: Oct 05 2007 08:32:51 PM Author: MICK As the dinner club always said "Eat Out Often" Subject: eating pussy Date: Sep 05 2007 09:05:08 PM Author: joe great writing...get a pillow up under her hips and spread her legs really wide...your article is correct; find out if the clit can really take a pounding and nothing wrong with sucking it...create that "seal" and work it with your lips and tongue...when you back off to give her a rest get your tongue into her hole and you might even want to deep finger her as you are abusing her clit...when her dam bursts it will be like a river of slimey goo that continues to belch and flow...give her a rest after she's blown her load & gently start the process all over again; repeat several ti Subject: I am touching myself now Date: Aug 27 2007 11:32:47 PM Author: wow wow..I have experienced many a good pussy eatings and reading this has really turned me on...Since I am all alone I'm having to enjoy pleasuring my own pussy. Keep writing this good stuff. Subject: stymied Date: Aug 26 2007 09:02:12 PM Author: Andrew I told my girlfriend I wanted to go down on her because I read a "How To" guide in the Vice book and she got all weirded out and wasn't down. What the fuck? Subject: the best sentence ever written!!! omg Date: Aug 01 2007 03:22:38 PM Author: Misty “although I am about to rock your insides with 3 000 lbs. of explosives, here’s a little intimate treat session to show you how I really feel” OMG! ok my pussy is soaking wet now after reading this...i came so hard...i think it was that sentence that totally sent me over the edge. that is SO HOT...i wish my guy would actually say super hot stuff like that to me...WOW!!! Subject: Mastubation Date: Jul 30 2007 07:26:28 PM Author: MICK My lady loves to lay on the edge of bed and pull her knees back to expose her lovely shaved snizzy. I will kneel at the bedside and procede to give her a very erotic tongue bath. When she is about to have her final orgasm, she will instruct me to start Jacking Off. I will already have lotion applied to my rather large and fully erect penis, so all I need to do is reach down with my right hand and start rubbing my hard cock, while playing with her Big Tits with my left hand. When she's finished cumming I will stand up and masturbate on her Pussy. She then makes me kneel back down and clea Subject: thank you!! Date: Jul 26 2007 07:46:10 AM Author: lizzy my fellar has been... AWFUL. he read this, and booooyyyyyaaaaoooo. thank you. Subject: Pussy eating Date: Jul 23 2007 02:30:55 AM Author: Sugard0ll1 W0w! i l0ve my pussy ate n the best part is after i cum in his m0uth he gives me a big fat french kiss mmm yummy dayum! i taste gd Subject: helllll yeeaaa Date: Jun 29 2007 07:36:11 AM Author: Brien man this site is the bomb!!!! all that shit really works man my girl lovvveed it..haha thanks alot Subject: Pussy Date: Jun 26 2007 07:33:30 PM Author: Erika I love to eat pussy. anygirl out there who want me 2 eat their pussy email me @ erikamartin1224@yahoo.com i crave pussy Subject: right on Date: Jun 25 2007 12:41:07 PM Author: lou Gotta say that had me hot and horny just reading, well written very funny! Subject: Amazing Date: Jun 22 2007 03:46:35 AM Author: anomonus TY very much XD will try Subject: Haha Date: May 27 2007 07:04:34 PM Author: Rich I actually lol'd! I like ur style. Subject: true Date: May 11 2007 06:33:16 PM Author: diva I love a good pussy eating, but it is so true you must get out when it is done. Some guys think they are superman and they will go on for another 10 minutes...I used to feel bad and let them...now I just have to push them away. Subject: Im game Date: May 09 2007 06:57:05 PM Author: Mike tha eater Now I am looking for someone to try this on.... if you want me to try this on you email me at: cadgrad2010@yahoo.com Subject: The p.u.s.s.y. Date: May 07 2007 07:27:42 AM Author: Marc Oh god man. Thank you for that article. Are you guys havin a "summer hole"?! (That´s german for the time in summer, where no flashing articles are possible- nothing happens). Those infos belong to teenage magacines, honey. If you don´t know how to treat a pussy at least o.k. when you´re in your thirties- think about it. It is not even funny, when you wanted to joke around. Bad notes on that!! Subject: CALL ME Date: Mar 31 2007 11:30:24 AM Author: JUSTIN WOW THIS WORKS IF THERE ARE ANY GIRLS OUT THERE WHO WANT ME TO EAT THEM OUT OR FUCK THEM CALL ME AT (910)582-4171 I'LL GIVE YOU A BIG ORGASMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM ASK FOR JUSTIN Subject: Ass to mouth Date: Feb 25 2007 02:59:17 AM Author: Becky Okay, I'm pretty sure you just compared an asshole to a vagina. Subject: :D Date: Feb 20 2007 05:45:15 PM Author: alotta vaghina omfg this should be taken and printed into every damn sex ed book there is. And if there aren't books, handouts, HOMEWORK, bitches. Excellent work! And thanks, now i'm more randy than a rabid dog in heat. Subject: Sh'll give something back?I think not! Date: Feb 17 2007 08:14:16 AM Author: kq "sticking it out will lead to some payback when period week comes around"... Well, not with all women. To be honest, with most women you will still get nothing back at all. Ever. Period or not. That's just life. ;) Subject: thanx Date: Feb 04 2007 02:51:38 PM Author: angie omgthis is so true i fucked my ex and used this and she loved it and asked me later whered i learn it and i gave her the site and she loved it thanx Subject: AFTER the Explosion Date: Nov 30 2006 02:06:55 PM Author: WOE After she cums, slowly lick the flesh between the booty and the candy box and gently over the booty hole, not actually penetrating just gliding over it. she will go nuts Subject: eating pussy Date: Nov 01 2006 05:38:04 PM Author: danraymab Thank you for the info. I enjoy eating pussy just wish I could fine some women that want there pussy eat in SC and NC. Subject: text Date: Oct 12 2006 10:32:17 AM Author: Sara Brilliant writing-work ! Subject: Props Date: Sep 09 2006 07:22:42 PM Author: Me I give you props, this article is fucking Hilarious! and well written. And it works!right on! Subject: Tunnel of Love Date: Jul 28 2006 01:13:28 PM Author: Bazzurk Neatly written. I couldn't have done it better. Although np new tricks for me... hehehe Bring it on girls! Subject: whoo sending this to my boyfriend Date: May 21 2006 11:27:26 AM Author: Mary-Beth haha, i laughed out loud so many times, my mom asked what i was laughing at. very clear and concise writing, this will make the world better. hahaha Subject: fark yer! Date: May 17 2006 10:19:16 PM Author: maniam squirted my wad all over miself! in my mouth aswell!! tasted so so good... . THANX FOR THA TIPS! CANT WAIT TILL I LICKOUT TONITE! SOME PUSSY IS GONNA GET IT GOOD! FARK! THANX AGAIN MATE! Subject: Girls gone wild Date: Apr 02 2006 11:46:38 PM Author: Melissa & Kathy Very well written-we are really horny now-we are glad you incorporated so many different and new names for our snatches! Keep up the good work!Women eat pussy to sometimes! Subject: For Dit it Once Date: Mar 26 2006 12:23:26 PM Author: Lottie Hmmmz... I just don't know girl... I must say I do a lot of kinki stuff but kissing/tasting my own poenany order department... Mb I should try it again. Subject: hot Date: Mar 25 2006 09:11:08 AM Author: dutchy kinda turned me on there Gavin Subject: nice Date: Mar 25 2006 04:53:55 AM Author: did it once defenitly nice piece of writin'. I'm jalous. Totally agree with FuhrerMofko. Taste is good. Kiss the girls. I'm a girl, I like it a lot. One extra tip, if ya dont exactly know what or when and you're not in the MicMac Indian phase, you can always ask the girl. Easy does it. And another thing, in the end instead of the tongue,use your hand as carpet. Easy tough, its sensetive. Finally, but thata a persanol flavour, I like it better side-to-side. Mostly we do it like that ourselves... Subject: eating pussy? Date: Mar 21 2006 05:35:34 AM Author: MAN Fuck all this crap! Eating pussy is a little too 70s for me. SUCK MY DICK! Subject: Kissing Date: Mar 20 2006 04:07:45 PM Author: FuhrerMofko Really nice piece of writing. I just have a reply on Lottie's comment: If a man did a great job, trust me, a women won't care ever if you pour her a glass of her own cunt honey. Subject: Extra tip Date: Mar 19 2006 07:26:49 AM Author: Lottie Nice piece of writing. Just one extra tip: after you guys finish, please don't kiss us fully on the mouth... Subject: partyeeee Date: Mar 19 2006 04:12:49 AM Author: freek Thanks for tha great party! Need more like this! |
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