What are you doing, you stupid, stupid bitch? Your long hair is gone. Let it go. Jesus. You think that irritating rat tail is some kind of memorial to all your hard hair work? I want to cut it off so bad it feels like I have to go pee. Comments/Enlarge See all

I was sad because I had no shoes, then I saw a guy who had folded two pot-leaf-emblazoned pieces of attic insulation over his feet and tied them with Scotch tape and I was like, “Wait, what the fuck is going on with that guy?” Comments/Enlarge See all