A few months ago we were offered an all-expenses-paid trip to the Rock en Seine festival in Paris. Understandably, no one in our office was keen to take up the offer so we were just about to politely refuse when, peculiarly, Alice said she’d ask her middle-aged banker dad if he wanted to go. Despite having no prior desire to go to a music festival, he said yes. The rest, as they say, is, er… documented below by Alice’s dad, Paul, and his mate Gareth, who joined him for the trip. Read more »
The Green Man festival is a relatively small festival in the Brecon Beacons. It’s basically Latitude with less bullshit about being a quirky boutique festival (when it’s run by the same people that run Reading and Leeds), less weekend warriors (although there are still some) and a much better line-up. I went down to this immensely picturesque part of Wales to watch some music, a few talks and some comedy. Oh, and see a huge green man be burned to the ground. WOO!
OK, Field Day was wet as fuck, but let’s face it: we’re English and, come rain or shine, it is our duty to go stand in a field, drink lager in plastic cups and watch bands every weekend for the rest of the month. Soon the festival season will be nothing but a sodden memory, so to keep you warmed by glorious field-based anecdotes during the cold months of winter, our friends at the excellent, one-night-only shindig, Festibelly, have given us a pair of tickets to give away to the first person to email us. They’ve even done us a little mix to get you in the mood to make the most of the end of what is still claiming to be summer Read more »
Secret Garden Party is a bit like Neverland – it is for people who spit in the face of adulthood and lubricate their rebirth to a childlike state by getting doped up, dressing like lunatic perverts and pretending life is fun. So it’s more MJ Neverland than JM Barrie Neverland.
On Sunday 26 July, the 1234 Festival returns to Shoreditch Park. Last year was such a mental teenage sex, jelly, and fireworks bonanza that this time “the man” has made them put a fence up around the park, which has limited the capacity to just 6,000 tickets. But then that adds a sense of exclusivity to the whole event, much like heaven (if you’re a Jehovah’s Witness). So go get a ticket now by clicking here! Go on!! Click!!! Click it!!!! If you need more convincing, look below for the line-up. Read more »
Legends of Italo-disco, we salute you! Under a rail arch. In south-east London. That’s right, the inaugural two-day Magic Waves Summer Festival kicks off this Friday, July 10, in Corsica Studios and even if you don’t know your Albert One from your Riki Maltese, the event’s mouthwatering line-up of electronic-disco icons old and new promises a weekend of serious pleasure. For the first time ever, original Italo stars Casco, Fred Ventura, Fockewolf 190 and Alex Novaga will share the stage with modern-day synth titans Alden Tyrell, Legowelt, Heartbreak, David Vunk, Electrick Dragon, Den Haan and a stack of others. It’s history in the making, and the soundtrack will be incredible. Read more »
Glastonbury is a big messy event in the countryside which lots of people attend in order to watch some bands and be part of a national treasure. Going to Glastonbury is the fun equivalent of being one of Lady Di’s pallbearers. Like almost everything else in the musical calendar, everyone likes to claim it’s rubbish, but actually, provided you don’t have to watch Neil Young, it’s definitely more fun than all the anti-Glastonbury club nights people put on in London with hopeless bands.
The most expensive part of going to Glastonbury is going there and buying a ticket. This can be easily eliminated by not going to Glastonbury and not buying a ticket. Once these piffling inconsequences are out of the way, you too can experience all the unity, all the magical uniqueness of the greatest festival on earth from the comfort of your own home. How so? Simply do like we say and recreate all its pleasures from stuff you can easily find around the house. Your mind is Glastonbury. Glastonbury is only ever in your mind. Never forget that. Read more »
Last weekend I went to Castle Donington’s Download Festival. I’m kind of a metal idiot, so it was a good learning experience for me. Here are a few things I learned.
Metal can be tiring. The slogan of the festival was (and I promise I’m not making this up): “Rock by day, rest by night”. Read more »
This one goes out to all the British people who pay upwards of £300 to sleep in a muddy concentration camp for three days while millionaire indie rock bands laugh and laugh and laugh at them. Read more »
Don’t honk her breast all serious-faced like it’s the traditional pose in this country. If you’re going to pull a move like that at least use both hands, cross your eyes, and be yelling “Tune in Tokyo-o-o-o!!!”
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Ladies, if you can handle wearing these things know that we can’t handle our shit when you wear these things.
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