A few months ago we were offered an all-expenses-paid trip to the Rock en Seine festival in Paris. Understandably, no one in our office was keen to take up the offer so we were just about to politely refuse when, peculiarly, Alice said she’d ask her middle-aged banker dad if he wanted to go. Despite having no prior desire to go to a music festival, he said yes. The rest, as they say, is, er… documented below by Alice’s dad, Paul, and his mate Gareth, who joined him for the trip.

When we received the original invite I wasn’t quite sure what to think the weekend would have in store but I thought that seeing a load of bands in a park in Paris would be a good way to spend a weekend.

We were told to meet at 9.30 AM underneath “The Meeting Place”, a nine-metre bronze statue of a couple locked in an intimate pose, at St Pancras International (“the most romantic place to meet”). Our hosts for the weekend were Sarah, Camille and Sandrine from We Are Social, a social media and conservation agency, who were working with Eurostar and www.littlebreakbigdifference.com. In the crowds and masses at St Pancras we played “Guess which one is Sarah?” and Paul guessed right. Our fellow travellers for the weekend were a group of ten music bloggers – Terry and Nicki (BuzzinMusic), Joe and Sam (HushHouse), Mark and Paul J (My Fried Little Brain), Marcus (Stereo Kill), Stuart (My Chemical Toilet), Niall (Nialler9) and last, but not least, Boaz (Cougarmicrobes) who everyone called “Codfish” (don’t ask me why). Most looked as though they had just left school or college.

The journey on Eurostar was faultless, until the waiter dropped Paul’s breakfast on his lap. To make up for the embarrassment, the waiter thought it would be a good idea to keep Paul plied with drink. During the journey, everyone was talking about who they were looking forward to seeing. Most said Oasis but one of the group bet us £5 that they wouldn’t show – “another festival they won’t show”!

We arrived in Paris spot on time but (thankfully) were too late to see Just Jack, Keane and Asher Roth.

Amy MacDonald kicked off the festival for us and was excellent and lovely. Passion Pit too was good and we were beginning to think this was a great way to spend a Friday afternoon.

Madness: the average age of the crowd seemed to increase so we started to feel at home – some were even older than Paul. The boys did look the part in some very sharp suits and they did play plenty of stuff that we all recognised.

Everyone was excited about Oasis, the headline act for day 1, and the crowds started moving towards the “Grande Scène”.

Due on stage at 10 PM, with minutes to go, the roadies were still moving equipment around the stage and everyone was anticipating their grand entrance. At 10.05 PM, the crowd was getting restless and started chanting. At 10.10 PM, an announcement was made that the group had split up and they wouldn’t be playing that night or for the rest of their European tour. The huge crowd started jeering and some people even cried.

No one was more upset than this guy. By the way, the lead singer from Vampire Weekend (who is the spitting image of Roger Federer) joined the photographers in the pit and said he heard Liam and Noel fighting in the dressing room, which ended with Liam demolishing Noel’s classic guitar. Bloc Party extended their set when they heard that Oasis would be a no show and Kele took great delight in telling the crowd, which was beginning to move, of the news.

Day 2

At the festival, the toilets all had queues that went on and on and seemed to wind their way around the site. As a result, many of the festival-goers were answering the call of nature in any place they could – mostly against the fence. By day 2, the aroma was beginning to get worse and by day 3 it was beginning to small like a NCP car park at home – not too pleasant.

The Horrors: I would like to know what the French thought of their garage rock/gothic music and if they could understand the lyrics. We certainly couldn’t!

Day 3

There was a relaxing start to day 3, and as on day 2, Sarah and Camille brought a picnic lunch.

The Prodigy was perhaps the highlight of Paul’s weekend as he managed to get on stage and watch from the side – just like a real music journalist! The loudest band of the whole weekend, you could feel every organ in your body resonate to the deep bass. Being on stage and behind the speakers was perhaps the best place to be. The sound was awesome and they had great tattoos too.

Where is Vice sending us next?

PAUL JUDGE-TALBOT AND GARETH JONES