Here’s the hot new way to promote political messages in Germany: take a drunk, unwashed guy who looks like he is going to vomit any second and tell him to raise his fist in the air as an expression of emotion. While he does that, you must play Schlager music in the background. If you do this, you’ll get a solid hit like “Team Deutschland Song”, written for the German Conservative Party.

We love the upcoming German elections this year. They’re so sexy and indulgent, and above all, we do love this sexy track produced by Leslie Mandoki, who some of us probably still know as Dschinghis Khan.

They really can’t rhyme for shit, they use the worst synths and cheap drums, and the whole caboodle stinks like a turd omelette. Just like the German election campaign! Zing! I’m a regular Jon Stewart!

FELIX NICKLAS