I was at the grocery store a few months back buying baby carrots and they were playing Bob Seger’s “I Love to Watch Her Strut” on the radio. Now whenever I eat baby carrots I think of Bob in an old folks’ home eye-raping the staff’s assholes. Enlarge/Comments DOs & DON'Ts
I was so wasted I needed to be carried home and I asked these guys if they would do it and they said, “Sure,” and I said “Bullshit,” (I was wasted) and they showed me some card of a guy who carried baby Christ across a river and I was like, “OK, OK, I got it,” and fell into their arms.
