Stop making that corny "man playing the world's smallest violin" gesture whenever you have to listen to some saddie's sob story. We're phasing it out for Richie Basements and his two-string dumpster ukulele. Comments/Enlarge See all
When you’re really wasted and you’ve been puking and you have hot carrots up your nose and you’re wondering where the fuck your girlfriend is, her and her friends dressed in white is such a fortunate, shining beacon of light you worry for a sec that maybe you’re dying. What I’m trying to say is, drunks like it when you wear white.