Fuck being thin and good looking. Most girls just want to hang around with plump bearded guys who are hilarious at parties and always have coke. If this guy was famous he’d probably be able to fuck them as well.
How come aging East Village vets always have this smirky, “Seen it all” demeanor even though “it all” can usually be summed up as the same barback’s decaying pussy once every couple of months?
SHOW US A FUNNY FACE AND TELL US ABOUT YOUR LONELIEST MOMENT
ARE YOU A CUNT?
MAFIA PARTY
THE GREATEST LOVER
HEY KIDS... IT'S TIME FOR SOME DUMB MYTHS AND SMART FACTS ABOUT SLAVERY!
GO! GO! GO!
BIG MOUTHS
FIND THE EYEHATEGOD STASH
VICE BOARD GAME!
RUN DOGS & BARK 
LONESOME PLAYBOY 
KIIIIIIISS MEEEEE!!! 
