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Don’t feel guilty guy. This is exactly what you’re supposed to do when you come into a lot of cash: Wake up at 5PM, assemble a uniform of leftover party scraps, and devote the better part of the day to figuring out who “that chick with the weird eyes” was from last night.

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The summer will be here soon and so will rooftop parties and beer on a boat and meeting that new girl that’s so hot the crack of her ass takes about an hour and a half to finish sniffing.

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