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November 7th, 2009

What the fuck are you glowering about? If that sexball let me put my freckly hands all over her person I'd be doing dances with her that make Skeritt Boy look like a tree-sloth who hates sex, not getting into staring problems with every other guy in the room. I guess heavy hangs the face that wears the tits. Comment

November 7th, 2009

If you're a psychotic murderer who needs to dispose of body parts across town, dressing up as a Godspell unicycle mime on his way to work is a surprisingly good option. The unicycle case will fit the average-sized kid and people tend to assume the smell is just coming from you. Comment

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Whoever introduced South Bronx rollerskate nerds from the 70s to funny English girls from the nows deserves this year's Fritos-and-Ice-Cream Prize in the field of Novel Combinationing.
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Divorce is hard on kids because it teaches them love is bullshit. Telling the world your mommy’s a retard is enough to give a kid an eating disorder.
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