Viceland.com - DOs and DON'Ts

December 1st, 2008

Pretty, stupid Midwestern girls love anything that’s European, even if it’s a Swedish male anorexic named Pieter who steals your Xanax. It’s still a better gig than staying in Kansas and being wedgied by your brother. Comment

December 1st, 2008

She’s dragging her keyboard and her bike on the subway to go practice with her band Fun Things You Wish You Were Doing but You’re Too Lazy and Uninspired to Do Them. Comment

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Jocks and rednecks have a very tiny fashion palette to draw from but homos can stand back, throw a dart at the past 100 years and say, “I choose, Boy London but with a dash of Olympic cyclist, In Living Color extra, and Canadian computer tech support guy thrown in for good measure.”

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She thinks that her tiger hair, zebra bag, and leopard shirt scream “Tame me if you can!” but what they really do is whimper “I’m confused and cold.”
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