I never dreamt the mascot for Mean Grape Colon Cleanser would be something I’d wish was my weird German aunt.

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It’s hard to call out your friends on their bullshit without it seeming like a joke, but if one of them is turning into a serious, self-important asshole it's vital to figure out a way to slip him the news.
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Wearing all the latest “clobber” (as the British say) can be a dangerous game but if you anchor yourself with things like a reasonable beard and straight glasses, there’s no limit to how much flair you can have on.

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