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This girl’s real actual name is Angel Butts.

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Back in the Valley Girl days, preppy meant rich kids that didn’t get punk. Now you have “Bad Religion hanging out with Britney Spears/Pink and Rancid helping each other’s careers,” so preppy is the only thing left. Laugh if you want, but it’s gotten so hard to be weird these days you have to practically build a brick wall around yourself and be prepared to zoom over to the new thing at the drop of a trucker hat.

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Ever notice how, right when the boomers dinks start to go, they invent a drug that rejuvenates boners? Now the bars are filled with a whole new universe of desperate singles trying to figure out what men are finding attractive these days.

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