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Man, trying to keep the CosPlayers straight from the protesters straight from the flash mobbers is getting harder and harder to care about these days.

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Boys love girls dressed like the 60s (and will even forgive stirrups—why can’t those be tights?) because it harkens back to a time when you could still marry a virgin.

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OK, maybe it’s time to make this perfectly clear to everyone over 30: You can’t disguise baldness with the close shave (“the millenium comb-over,” as Billy Connolly put it). Even if you put sunglasses on top, no more going to the club (pubs and bars only), your girlfriends all have to be within 5 years of your age (if she’s near 30 it’s time to get married and give her a kid), you need a job outside of the service industry (musician or actor don’t count). And as far as passionately following rave culture goes, you’re kidding right?

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