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Russian girls like to have this dark, brooding thing that makes them look like Dostoevsky with tits. Of course, if they do look like Dostoevsky with tits, dudes are like, “You can be as deep and intellectual as you want. I’m not a gay.”
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Look, we appreciate you going for the Nazi punk Sandinista gay pornstar from Cats thing, but with Chucks? You need to have four-foot-high Kiss boots with bazookas on them and you need to be on a mountain somewhere killing eagles. That is to say, get out of here.
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