Don'ts

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Com’è che ogni tipa insulsa e stupida con una carta di credito in tasca posa come se fosse Paris Hilton? Cazzo quando le tipe spingono così sto look MTV di merda, mi viene voglia di diventare omosessuale.

Interessato? Si, sono interessato eccome. Chi cazzo sei? E a chi pensi di interessare? Qualcuna è mai venuta a chiederti “Ciao, sono interessata in masturbatori folli semi-nudi, hai un opuscolo?”


Quando due tipe si vestono esattamente uguali c’è un segreto: la tipa A (più carismatica) ha convinto la tipa B (meno intelligente) ad essere un accessorio per il suo ridicolo costume. Mi sa che quella a destra sta cominciando a chiedersi “Aspetta un attimo, com’è che sta scema mi ha convinto a adottare questo look alla 21 Jump Street glam?”		Preparati a morire con gli stivali, faccia da culo! Che cazzo è? “Sono un incazzatissimo metalhead e ti spacco il culo quando mi pare, proprio come il frocetto fan di OC che non sei altro, PERO’ le mie ginocchia hanno bisogno di respirare e se fa caldo mi devo mettere i pantaloncini quando esco a prendermi un kebab.”


E’ strano uscire dalle menzogne dei media occidentali e scoprire che il resto del mondo vede la guerra in Iraq come un grosso episodio di Happy Days dove Bin Laden è Fonzie. Hanno tutti addosso magliette così mentre se la scialano in Tunisia facendo scherzi di San Valentino.		Negli anni 70 essere “figo” voleva dire sembrare un oleoso stupratore turco sovrappeso con i capelli leccati. Amico mio, sono passati TRENT’ANNI.



Quando eri giovane potevi metterti stupidi pantaloni colorati ed incollare insieme due cose su una spiaggia ed eri considerato un “artista”. Oggi sei un pazzo schizofrenico che ha ereditato troppi soldi quando gli è morto il padre.		Non so chi sia ma ho troppa voglia di sbattergli in faccia a piena potenza quell’enorme tronco di albero come in Rambo.



Non sembrerà tanto male, ma tenete bene in mente che stava intrattenendo dei bambini con una sizza in bocca e uno sguardo da serial killer e i bambini si stavano tutti cagando sotto. E’ uno di quei tipi che fa abbaiare i cani per nessuna ragione.		Gli unici a cui piacciono i tanga sono quelli che pensano che le tipe non vanno in bagno. Tutti gli altri sono tipo: “Per favore toglimi quel fazzoletto sporco dalla faccia.” A sto punto perché non ti metti due assorbenti come orecchini?



Mentre te ne stai li a pensare, “come fanno tutti i franco-canadesi a pensare che avere due giganti orecchini da donna sia ok?”, la madre scatta fuori da un gruppo di parenti e fa “Quoi? Aaaah, une photo”, e gli salta di fianco con dei pantaloncini da ciclista e una giacca rossa. E lì capisci tutto.		La moda è come l’LSD, l’eroina e i culti religiosi. Se ci dai troppo dentro impazzisci. Christiane qui sopra forse sarà anche stato un semi-finocchio Marocchino di talento da giovane. Adesso si fa chiamare Saffarì.



Quando le tipe non trombano cambiano piano piano. Prima iniziano a vestirsi di viola. Poi iniziano a mettersi fiamme dappertutto e orecchini strani ed enormi scarpe rosse e trombare diventa gradualmente più difficile ogni volta che comprano qualcosa.		I tipi invece non perdono mai questa capacità. Non importa quanto tempo sia passato dall’ultima scopata. Stanno bene così. Mica hanno bisogno di una rompipalle che gli dica di non bere e tornare a casa presto.



Questo aveva una carta di credito nel culo e tipo $200 in banconote tutte stropicciate in mano. Dapprima sembrava uno spettro, poi fa “sono appena uscito da una festa malatissima”, al che noi abbiamo preso le parole “vaaaaaaaaaa bene”, le abbiamo messe in un bazooka e le abbiamo lanciate sulla luna.		Ho letto un articolo di recente nel quale ponevano la questione: “E’ più pazzo l’amministratore delegato medio o il barbone medio?”. Ok, l’amministratore sarà anche un terrorista finanziario ma almeno non si mette a fare stronzi grossi come un vecchio cellulare in mezzo alla strada.



E inoltre non si innamorano pazzamente di una fatina cicciotta che ride sempre e fa la gatta morta dicendo, “dai, smettila, mi fai ridere...”		A Montreal è pieno di uomini ADULTI che sono talmente ossessionati da i fumetti di Hergé e il suo eroe Tin Tin che si fanno i capelli come lui. Sono ovunque. E’ come se ci fossero un sacco di Italiani che se ne vanno a spasso vestiti come Topo Gigio.

Click here for the DOS

Comments:

Subject: dont's
Date: May 30 2005 06:45:57 AM
Author: andy roo

apart from being the best shit around vice mag has inspired me to shout from the roof tops i am the king of england bow down before me and accept that you will die at some point probably looking like a twat

Subject: shit jokes
Date: May 29 2005 09:14:57 PM
Author: shane

I know some people here are sick of them but the best one i heard was "i gotta go drop the cosby kids off at the pool"

Subject: jkfldjk
Date: May 27 2005 10:01:00 PM
Author: fdgf

whoever wrote this is the biggest don't ever

Subject: I love don'ts
Date: May 27 2005 09:29:17 PM
Author: Lashley

To the hippie who replied "Ah, this stuff is getting to harsh", fuck you. Its reality. Dumb people get made fun of. hahahaha. You dumb to.

Subject: playa hating
Date: May 24 2005 03:01:49 PM
Author: aldav

And Vice was like "lets get a DON'TS page and provoke the shit out of these bitches" and I was like "Oh Vice you're so crazy and playful and harmless" and y'all are like 'FUCK! SHIT! BITCH! I hope Vice's babies get cancer the evil bastard!!' and Vice was like 'Ha ha. mission accomplished.'

Subject: Idiots
Date: May 23 2005 03:42:12 PM
Author: John

Only genuinely dyslexic people are actually funny, like my brother. I've only got four letters in my name and he fucks it up every time. Otherwise the spelling is 'definitely'.

Twats

Subject: Super Bummer
Date: May 21 2005 07:32:50 PM
Author: Brandan Doty

Fuck, at first I thought that Taylor guy was posting something anti-Vice, but then at the end he turned it around and said he loves Vice. Now I hate Vice because of this fucking guy?! That sucks!

Subject: Fucking people...
Date: May 20 2005 01:32:15 AM
Author: Taylor

So, can nobody take a joke anymore? Got too much sand in your pussy? Christ man, get your heads out of you PC encrusted asses and enjoy the real world. Quit trying to protect everyone, concentrate on yourself & enjoy life. Nobody gives a fuck what you think. Nobody gives a fuck what I think. Accept it. You're not saving the world. Cultures aren't always going to get along. Racism, sexism, etc., Boo fucking hoo, screw 'em. Bitch all you want...
I Love VICE and the DO's and DON'Ts are my favorites. Keep up the great work and humor.

Taylor

Subject: WHAT?!
Date: May 19 2005 05:34:01 AM
Author: Patrick Tyler George

To the hippie who replied "Ah, this stuff is getting to harsh", fuck you. Its reality. Dumb people get made fun of. hahahaha. You dumb to.

Subject: "Anti-war"'s a microcosm
Date: May 18 2005 11:08:14 AM
Author: Anti-don't

for Vice's don'ts. A space cluttered with so much obviousness, what's your point? Congrats, you've now allowed the FHM and Maxim set feeling qualified to tell your future-ex-readers to "quit (our) bitching because this shit is totally funny." This place is frat-infested now. I'm going outside.

Subject: uh
Date: May 17 2005 07:11:11 PM
Author: socks

why is everyone who comments here a total tard?

Subject: vice sucks
Date: May 16 2005 11:45:13 PM
Author: lino de marco

not funny any more - get new writers who are funny not idiots like the ones from now. dont use the word "nigga" anymore even if you own the magazine and are a pakistani or Indian millianare. brown isnt quite black..still not cool.

Subject: 100 pounds of collie
Date: May 15 2005 02:27:14 PM
Author: yeah! that shit is just fine

i dont know guys, vice has brought me nothing but joy over the years. why are you even taking the time to talk shit on the internet? don't you have books or television, maybe some algebra homework, something better to do than take out all your anger on a don'ts page? dude, it's cool, if you do the dishes she'll let you go out with emily and mallory on friday.

Subject: cool
Date: May 15 2005 02:26:53 PM
Author: yeah

"Ha! That's a great joke!"

Subject: everything that is wrong with new york
Date: May 12 2005 11:03:19 PM
Author: m

is summed up by this vice magazine culture bullshit. you think what you do matters? i hope not. becuase it only matters to your coke f iend friends and trust fund hipster buddies. get a life or just OD and die already. seriously.

Subject: you guys are fucked up
Date: May 12 2005 06:57:27 PM
Author: lupis

"She's a walking r*pe deterrent". What creepy implications. I guess it would follow that girls who really are hot are r*pe magnets. Excellent. Fucking brilliant.

Subject: NY
Date: May 12 2005 11:50:45 AM
Author: Matt

NY hasn't voted Republican in 20 years? What party do you think Bloomberg belongs to, you fucking airheads?

Subject: awesome.
Date: May 11 2005 01:34:08 PM
Author: young sun

If i told you guys that you are completely right would it matter?

Subject: I disagree.
Date: May 10 2005 11:08:47 PM
Author: Dan

Hmm. Some people didn't like this. I imagine it hit too close to home. As for the others who say Vice is stale. Wow, your bitter. This is some funny stuff. Bravo Vice.

Subject: black dickberg?
Date: May 10 2005 04:35:06 PM
Author: handjob lessons

last weekend my roommate brought home a virgin republican jew for jesus. he also wore a toe ring and said his mom was going to be "sooo pissed" when he came home the next day. he was 22.

Subject: Fuck Tits Yo.
Date: May 09 2005 09:13:58 PM
Author: Fetus

Free Pizza! Not Mumia!

Subject: I remember vice....
Date: May 08 2005 07:11:02 PM
Author: Johnny Rotten

Vice is the new Big Brother magazine before Larry Flynt bought it and pussy-ized it then dropped it all together! FUCK I miss big brother so Vice is going to have to do for now!

Subject: ddd
Date: May 08 2005 10:31:57 AM
Author: dd

oh yeah and I forgot. Girls are so fucking HOT aren't they. That really fucking matters to me, because my priorities are fucked and all I wait for is Saturday when I can go to a club and get rejected by most of the girls I want. Yeah man, that's the REAL shit these days. Semiotic City Population 600000000000000000000000000

Subject: fu
Date: May 08 2005 10:29:31 AM
Author: shoe

yeah man lets make snidey comments about other people and the way they dress and because it's written down it's got more impact and relevance. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah man that's fucking gnarly. We're the real shit. We know what it's all about, yeah man.

Subject: me
Date: May 07 2005 09:27:13 AM
Author: Patrick

I am 15 and i love a girl for 3 years

Subject: whore-os-cope
Date: May 06 2005 12:59:55 AM
Author: Kans-ass

that creepy forest dweller teaches astronomy at a kansas community college. he gave me a d, skin cancer cant cum fast enough to claim him.

Subject: fabian's laugh
Date: May 05 2005 08:54:29 PM
Author: fabian

the oversized caps/children in cancer ward line made me laugh!!!

Subject: word.
Date: May 05 2005 08:35:55 AM
Author: spooonman

fucken hell. all girls look the same, the bo-hoe thing is so overfuckendone and i hate thongs. dont be such complete fucktards and buy some shoes you bogans.

Subject: duh
Date: May 05 2005 01:21:51 AM
Author: i eat my scabs

the mumia one is supposed to look photoshopped. that's like four fifths of the joke, duh.

Subject: mumia
Date: May 02 2005 01:35:16 AM
Author: adam

vice talks shit about mumia all the time. why is that sign a don't?

Subject: isnt mumia dead already?
Date: May 01 2005 04:31:19 AM
Author: hahaha

FREE MUMIA WITH TWO PROOFS OF PURCHASE!

Subject: H.B
Date: May 01 2005 12:08:46 AM
Author: AB

The person who posted as 'H.B' has the right idea. All you people who keep whining about how the old vice was so much better, it's lame, give it a rest. Start your own fucking magazine, quit reading this one, or shut the fuck up. You fucks.

Subject: Urban Players?
Date: Apr 30 2005 01:36:52 PM
Author: Harry Carpenter

Dudes like that need to get their fuckin heads checked out. Comps. like Starter and Nike have monopolized on posers for decades. You guys need to understand that EVERYTHING sucks and always has. Why don't some of the black urban playas move to the sticks and show all the stupid white kids how to stand and not smile in pictures.

Subject: magazine
Date: Apr 28 2005 09:37:34 PM
Author: this

isn't fucking funny anymore. gnar ass bitches on the rag should be banned from writing shitty do's and don'ts. and if that's not who wrote any of this, i feel sorry for you, because that's what you sound like.

Subject: MIMI
Date: Apr 28 2005 04:33:35 PM
Author: Jason G

Hey mimi! Why bother even looking at it if you hate it so much? Go away.

Subject: wasted
Date: Apr 28 2005 03:02:57 PM
Author: mimi

good thing your mag is free - who would pay for this shit?

Subject: I get it...
Date: Apr 28 2005 11:58:16 AM
Author: jobby

...do I win a prize?

Subject: tit bullied
Date: Apr 28 2005 10:29:13 AM
Author: seeker

i want more alpha females. being tit bullied is good times for boys! silly outfits or not.

Subject: hee
Date: Apr 27 2005 04:58:57 PM
Author: johnny

::Fuck, when we take over that place there are going to be some serious job cuts. ::

it's funny 'cuz it's trooooo...

Subject: aldo nova
Date: Apr 26 2005 04:13:05 PM
Author: fucknuts

this shit is STILL fucking funny.
three cheers vice fuckers!
keep it going.

Subject: not funny anymore
Date: Apr 26 2005 01:38:16 PM
Author: kam

anyone that says these comments 'rule' are new vice readers.there was a time when the do's and don'ts were really smart and funny. miss the old writer.....

Subject: Wegros and hip hop fashion
Date: Apr 26 2005 12:52:21 PM
Author: 77**

raider boy proves that just cause your from NYC you can still be considered the most clueless clown on the planet. So the next time I have to hear "Well thats because I from NYC" I will slap that fool and tell him to clean up his city full of wegros and clowns.

Subject: die
Date: Apr 26 2005 12:03:19 PM
Author: your a moron

The fraggle thing might be funny if the girls above the didn't match 10 times more then they do. Your brainwashed idiots laughing at something for acceptance when there's no joke to get.

Subject: Glam
Date: Apr 26 2005 10:26:19 AM
Author: mini bottles rule!

Fraggle Glam?!?!? Freakin' HILARIOUS!!!!

Subject: punx!
Date: Apr 26 2005 10:19:03 AM
Author: jason gilmour

"Good" fans! "Bad" blows! So true it hurts my mind. I can't wait for crazed muslims to kill Bush so that we can have a huge fire and burn all of the devil horn Bush posters, "not MY president" t-shirts and Michael Moore's big dumb stupid movies and books!Do those leftie punk kids hate cancer too?

Subject: do's and don'ts
Date: Apr 25 2005 04:18:02 PM
Author: chevy chase

vice magazine proves you can snort away the funnies.

Subject: Contest!
Date: Apr 25 2005 04:09:39 PM
Author: H.B.

I have an idea. EVERY FUCKING MONTH some shitstain moppet chimes in about how "vice used to be so funny but its just shit now."

I bet these fagg*ts have no idea. Run a bunch of old "do's and don'ts" along with new ones. Have a contest to see who can guess which is which. Winners gets, uh, to stop fucking their dad in the ass or something

Subject: You guys are great!!
Date: Apr 25 2005 03:19:07 PM
Author: Dan

Hey this is my first time visiting your site and I just have to say that I think it's fucking hilarious how you guys put up random pictures of shit and make a comment about it just to get a reaction or a rise out of people, and the stupid fuckers actually bite!! I love reading the posts that people leave about someone that knows someone in a picture and is heavily offended by your random funny comment made about them. The best part about all these outraged people is that if they saw one of these scenarios in real life they or one of their friends would probably say the same thing, and they would all laugh at it. I will definatley be getting a subscription to your magazine....and keep up the good work!

Subject: Pee-man Zeeman
Date: Apr 25 2005 01:24:48 PM
Author: Long-Duck-Dong

"I can't wait until my documentary on urban culture in Asia comes out next year and you will see what a good movie is!"

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!

HOLY SHIT THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST THING I"VE READ ALL WEEK!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Subject: donts
Date: Apr 25 2005 09:34:57 AM
Author: advancement

these are lame get new writters

Subject: mumia
Date: Apr 24 2005 10:53:35 PM
Author: jephy

the mumia one is so photoshopped, that someone should send it off to snopes.

how can a fictional situation be a don't?

Subject: metal horns dude
Date: Apr 24 2005 08:37:16 PM
Author: tit-bully

Ten bucks says the cretin on the right doesn't own a single Maiden album. Keep strutting your shit at From First to Last shows. They're the only suckers who'll eat your fraggle bullshit right up.

Subject: Don't
Date: Apr 24 2005 07:22:56 PM
Author: MikeSnake

Whoever wrote this shit is a "Don't"

Subject: I hate wannabe film makers!
Date: Apr 24 2005 06:22:34 PM
Author: Zeeman

Those fuckers in that studio pic where it takes 50 people to work a camera are true un- creative film/movie people that probably got their jobs by being gay or a Jew. The guy with out shoes probably watches Ashton Kutcher movies and gave a mean blow job to some gay director to get his job. I went to school with fuckers like them and they seriously piss me off! Because they think they are hot shit and Gods gift to film, but the truth is they couldn’t pull a good film out of their ass even if they were threatened by a gun. The reason why they got into the industry is not because they loved film from birth like me but because they jumped on some band wagon 4 years ago because the shit seems cool. Let me tell you something you fuckers I grew up in a movie theatre since the age of 5 with scarface and Bladerunner I can't wait until my documentary on urban culture in Asia comes out next year and you will see what a good movie is!

Subject: fucking fairy?
Date: Apr 24 2005 05:44:04 PM
Author: archibald

"mikey likes it" (he'll eat anything)

i think he's being ironic....

the captions are fucking novels, and they are tragic ones at that. somebody got paid to write this shit? some of it doesn't even make sense. gave me a headache cuz i thought it was supposed to make me laugh. i guess i just don't no what it's like to menstruate.

Subject: kid
Date: Apr 24 2005 12:59:55 PM
Author: gay

That mikey kid is a fucking fairy

Subject: just laugh u uptight terd stained panty
Date: Apr 24 2005 05:24:35 AM
Author: This is Rene

How insecure is vice??? How insecure must YOU be? (who wrote this one btw?, it was especially funny and,as always,honest BITTER opinion, yay for being bitter!)Have you not overdosed on carbon copy robot blondes? of course not! Because you are boring and typical. they never said they weren't cute! thats not the point! It's the disgusting generic safety look they cling to! My malibu barbie had the same autfit. You serious touchy fags are so boring and righteous! If you've ever actually known people, eclectic fun bag people,or had friends of all types and ages, and actually honestly observe social behavior and experience some shit for yourself then you would see how fucking honest and insightful all these comments are! tAKE YOUR GOLDEN RULER AND SMACK urself in the face! You squares are like the strangling condom on a now limp dick! Sucking the fun out of evrything! GIVE IT TO ME RAW AND HARD VICE!!! I FUCKING LOVE IT!! O SHIT IM CUMING.!#$XCVB&%&KUNT(TIDH*%@CVESY$!!@#*&$$#!!!!
*%$!@OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!">"&g
t;<

Subject: this shit is really fucking funny!
Date: Apr 23 2005 08:09:18 PM
Author: mikey

OMG LOL!!! I've never been to this site or heard of this magazine, but i think i will have to drop 30 bucks on a subscription because this Do's and Don'ts thing is so creative and funny. Not only are the pictures hilarious, but the captions are so witty and insightful. How do you find these pictures, these crazy people? The way you rip on them is really fucking funny. The way you compliment the good ones is so funny. I totally agree with your insights, and think they are hilarious. I don't know why all these people have a problem with it, cause i think its really cool. If this is the worst job you guys have done I can't WAIT to see the back issues!!! Keep up the great work, and don't sweat what these other guys wrote cuz you're really fucking funny!!!

Subject: you
Date: Apr 23 2005 06:50:02 PM
Author: idiots

Hurry soak in all the vice while you still can you indie obscure puppets...won't have much more time.

Subject: I seem to remember
Date: Apr 23 2005 03:33:08 PM
Author: Lacey

a time when you fuckers were witty. Pity.

Subject: comedy must be getting harder...
Date: Apr 23 2005 09:40:35 AM
Author: Brian

...because you "Guys" just arent funny anymore. It breaks my heart to say this, but, Your Fucking Fired, Move the fuck out of the "Slower" east side, comb your hair, pull out the nose rings and get a fucking real day job, you unfunny pieces of shit! Note to editor: (find some funny writers, fire this lame ass bunch, you'll be doing them a favor, really)

Subject: VICE in decline
Date: Apr 23 2005 09:17:54 AM
Author: whosoever

it seems like there's some universal DON'Ts, things that are bad ideas no matter what, with no dispute. fat hairy dudes in thongs, blackface, pensioners dressing like teenages, etc. seeing people wear that shit and get clowned here is what makes it funny.

but what i don't get is when VICE gets so caught up in their own passe bullshit that things like the "fraggle" girls are suddenly objects for derision when just a few months ago, girls in blazers and short skirts were fertilizing boners all over the DOs page. it's not like the shit got played out, and besides, we don't even know when that picture was taken. turning around so often to contradict yourselves either proves that this whole thing is thoughtless slapdash last minute bullshit meant to be a joke on the readers, or it just says the writers have no idea and should keep their flappy little pussies shut.

Subject: Thank you,
Date: Apr 23 2005 02:02:32 AM
Author: Jenny

you sharp eyes who recognized the photoshopped image. Because Vice photoshopped the book too, and I forgot to (read: didn't care enough to) say anything about it. I have a fucking thesis due in a week, goddammit! Fuck, why am I here? Aw, fuck.

Subject: focus!
Date: Apr 22 2005 09:08:46 PM
Author: k-dogg

that free-mumia sign is clearly photoshopped in. see your optometrist, jackass.

Subject: ugh, please...
Date: Apr 22 2005 06:04:12 PM
Author: aijaz

pathetic excuses for using the word "tit-bullied", possibly made up photos (what, did you fucking substitute yr coke with fucking opium?!? get the fuck outside!), don'ts so fucking obvious that they should occur only subconsciously (paris hilton: the name itself is a don't), and a totally missed opportunity with the forest-dwelling creep (since when do elven heroin addicts wear fanny packs [and i'll fucking bet that the seat of those cut-offs its worthy of the gross jar])....all this makes me want to say "Get us another Stoli and soda, bitch!"--and a new fucking don'ts section while yr at it too, cos the worst thing in the world is a fucking don'ts sections that is itself a shitty don't

Subject: reader is a piece of shit
Date: Apr 22 2005 06:15:08 PM
Author: durdy chez

subject can also mean "to expose someone to" like you're subjecting us to your idiocy. you fuckin loser abortion-that-got-away cocksucker

Subject: jokes
Date: Apr 22 2005 04:38:59 PM
Author: jokes

Jokes your all jokes till the money comes in

Subject: THESE RULE
Date: Apr 22 2005 04:27:20 PM
Author: Pops J.

Just had to say it since there are so many haters talking up.

Subject: i don't have a subjest
Date: Apr 22 2005 04:20:11 PM
Author: sketch

forgot my pocket sized dictionary....when you use the word lexicoghraphers, what would you mean?...

Subject: spellcheck
Date: Apr 22 2005 04:15:53 PM
Author: webster

Main Entry: sub·ju·gate
Pronunciation: 's&b-ji-"gAt
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): -gat·ed; -gat·ing
Etymology: Middle English, from Latin subjugatus, past participle of subjugare, from sub- + jugum yoke -- more at YOKE
1 : to bring under control and governance as a subject : CONQUER
2 : to make submissive : SUBDUE

Subject: i am a dog and a human at the same time
Date: Apr 22 2005 03:55:27 PM
Author: dog boy

i ama dog and a human at the same time. I come from the planet "buthole" and i will eat all of your corn. free nunina!

Subject: spelling.
Date: Apr 22 2005 03:41:09 PM
Author: .

"subjugate" isn't even a word.
did you mean "subjigate"?
idiot.

Subject: grammar
Date: Apr 22 2005 03:06:13 PM
Author: Reader

What?
Did you mean subjigate? "Subject" them to what?

Subject: 666
Date: Apr 22 2005 01:25:06 PM
Author: the number of the beast

You don't need permission to subject underage females in publication?

Subject: i call bullshit on the mumia joke
Date: Apr 22 2005 01:57:19 PM
Author: durdy chez

hasnt anybody noticed that the mumia joke is bullshit? they photoshoped the image. jesus you people are idiots. now theyre just making up don'ts this is worse than viva la bam

Subject: P Diddley Doodle, Neighbor
Date: Apr 22 2005 12:25:26 PM
Author: Gianni

It's about time the sports jersey thing got retired. Sean John's suits are nicer than Donald Trump's. Time to upgrade.

Subject: Mumia
Date: Apr 22 2005 12:39:37 PM
Author: Deemonie

Ha! That's a great joke!

Subject: free mumia
Date: Apr 22 2005 11:59:05 AM
Author: rude joke

another funny way to say you have to shit is to say "I have to go free Nelson Mandella"

Subject: internet savvy
Date: Apr 22 2005 11:57:00 AM
Author: Craig

Hit "reload image" if it looks "sissy-ish"

Subject: sissies
Date: Apr 22 2005 11:54:21 AM
Author: the horse

sissies. cowards.

Subject: shite
Date: Apr 22 2005 11:51:02 AM
Author: randy

this shit IS getting worse. dull on top of unfunny. and clearly written by some ugly bitch posing as a guy, and because of her insecurity will keep putting hot girls in the Don'ts. it's not gonna work. just give up.

Subject: Mumia Joke
Date: Apr 22 2005 10:11:29 AM
Author: Justin

How can you guys have never heard the Mumia joke. Ever heard anyone who was going to take a shit say, "I gotta go free Mumia"?

Subject: Touching Myself, Gently
Date: Apr 22 2005 04:53:54 AM
Author: Your Mother

Wow! How shit are these fucking things getting? It's worse every time. All the humor is gone and has been replaced with a bitterness. Ouch.

Subject: .
Date: Apr 21 2005 09:38:22 PM
Author: desh

i love how vice hates on girls that are actually CUTE.

yeah, keep supporting the ug - o's.

Subject: Mumia Joke Explained
Date: Apr 21 2005 08:58:12 PM
Author: 50 Cent

1) A woman in Taiwan wears a "Free Mumia" placard. For no reason at all, there is a picture of a toilet spewing water on the placard. It's absurd.

2) In an ironic misreading, the "Don'ts" author interprets the placard as a racist joke, thereby echoing (or doubling) the initial absurdity.

This is a subtle, Dadaist type of joke: highlighting the absurdity of a situation by responding with an absurd reaction. It doesn't make any sense to call the woman a racist--and that's the point; her placard doesn't make any sense either.

Subject: feeling a little dense
Date: Apr 21 2005 08:24:17 PM
Author: apple

Somebody please explain the Mumia joke...

Subject: your attention, please
Date: Apr 21 2005 08:14:44 PM
Author: plum

lexicographers of the world, please take note:

"tit-bullied"

Subject: uther
Date: Apr 21 2005 06:08:44 PM
Author: ubject

Damn are fraggle glam girls frickin hot...

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