Grad school types and religious assholes want to convince us that assimilation is mean and racist and makes immigrants betray their cultural roots, but what if they're just really psyched to live somewhere that isn't an abject shithole?

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When you’re really wasted and you’ve been puking and you have hot carrots up your nose and you’re wondering where the fuck your girlfriend is, her and her friends dressed in white is such a fortunate, shining beacon of light you worry for a sec that maybe you’re dying. What I’m trying to say is, drunks like it when you wear white.

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I know you think this guy would make a great boyfriend but nu-rave and hip-hop nerd are blending awfully close to each other these days, so you have no idea what you’re getting.
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