Everyone needs to stop saying things are ironic. It implies that your whole existence is this big “Ta da!” where you’re really concerned with what everyone thinks about this complex joke you’ve conjured up. Not only could this guy give two shits if you “get it” or not, there’s not even anything to get, so get over it.
Dude his phone is nokia that does have a flip. He is clearly talking to dan le sac ;0)
Date: May 10 2008 02:03:36 AM Author: anon
lol his phone isnt even open. whos he talking to, the lcd screen?
Date: Mar 29 2008 10:05:44 PM Author: bridget
he's a hot minimalist williamsburg ghostbuster! aka man of my dreams
Subject: jew Date: Mar 11 2008 02:50:48 AM Author: I have a big dick
this guy is a yahudi for sure
Subject: welcome to my house Date: Nov 14 2007 06:31:52 PM Author: nancy d
dudes who wear plastic are yes and yes in my book. and when a person has become so retarded/lazy that the whole "lace thing" has become too complicated and they need velcro shoes I continue to say yes.
Subject: sticky Date: Oct 04 2007 08:34:12 PM Author: ....
still rockin the sally ann price sticker
Subject: Movin' on up. Date: Jul 23 2007 09:46:14 PM Author: Some dude...
This cat is clearly an underling in the Ukrainian mob. He sits there unflinchingly because squares with cameras don't even show up on his fucking radar.
Subject: wal mart Date: Jul 12 2007 01:02:30 AM Author: ross
7.99? where you been shoppin homie? i gots mine fo fi nidey-ni
Am i the only person that thinks its actually an amazing track suit ?
Subject: I want that tracksuit Date: May 26 2007 03:02:03 AM Author: Frisbee Menace
You better believe this guy owns on everyone else in his ultimate frisbee team. His non-aerodynamic beard and hi-vis clothing is an attempt to level the playing field
Subject: killed it. Date: Feb 14 2007 01:12:15 PM Author: kid_hamptons_dizaster_182
this dude is fucking fresh because he doesn't even know that his jogging suit is like 15 years old. those shoes are $7.99 at walmart and they come in 3 colors.
Subject: DOs and DONTS Date: Jan 08 2007 09:30:38 PM Author: Concrete Fist
Gavin McPenis has admitted that on many occassions the DOs and DONTs are random. There are DOs put in the DONTs and vice-versa.
What makes DOs and DONTs so compelling is your own self-consciousness and fear of being judged. You want to make sure you're not a DONT and it feels good when you agree that a DONT is a DONT. That and the mean-ass cutting up of poor unsuspecting fools is what lines McPenis's pockets with cash money. You laugh at others, but McPenis laughs at you.
Subject: ai yi yi Date: Jan 03 2007 06:06:54 PM Author: hexane
After reading these vice do-dont things for the past couple weeks my head is spinning with the self consciousness of:
-I am cool (aka hip) because
-I don't care if I'm cool or not
-but if I'm not caring about coolness for the sake of being cool
-then I'm not cool (but in a truly uncool manner)
Jesus can we just get our govt assigned jumpsuits already
Subject: davvk Date: Dec 19 2006 03:00:43 AM Author: misha
if there is nothing to get
then this dude just looks like shit
and that's it.
Subject: . Date: Oct 19 2006 08:07:55 PM Author: .
aahahaa i love it. !!! def a do!!
Subject: Mike Date: Oct 12 2006 03:51:33 AM Author: Mike
"Hi! Good luck world !!!
Subject: fuck Date: Oct 08 2006 07:02:45 PM Author: Jon
Yeah, nothing to "get", just your average bearded guy with 100% seafoam green, 100% plastic clothing and velcro shoes on.
Subject: that's not a neckbeard, a fart Date: Aug 29 2006 11:50:42 AM Author: chef
a neckbeard does not include full facial coverage and a moustache.
Subject: stuff Date: Aug 01 2006 07:07:39 AM Author: karl
its like Matisyahu chilling out after his morning run, i fucking love him
Subject: dont care Date: Jul 18 2006 02:18:48 PM Author: anna
hes still hot, I still want to Fuck him
Subject: hip to the hipsters Date: Jul 14 2006 03:49:03 PM Author: milehigh
I am so glad that I don't live in New York, you all try way too hard.
Subject: guh Date: Jul 09 2006 02:29:02 AM Author: a fart
i didn't read through all of the comments but i should also point out this man is in possession of a class two neckbeard. surely nothing is more prominent in the anime convention scene outside obese midwesterners
Subject: i wann'em Date: Jul 07 2006 04:55:52 AM Author: Captian Backslap
How good are those kicks!? they are probably aerosports or something around the $19.99 price range? dope!
Subject: Ow Date: Jun 29 2006 12:11:45 PM Author: Maaang
I'm sorry, what the fuck does faith no more have to do with a bearded man in a turquoise tracksuit?
Subject: Look at me! Date: Jun 29 2006 08:33:46 AM Author: Trust Fund Street Urchin
When it gets to the point that everybody in Williamsburg and LES "gets" and re-gets to the point that when you walk down the street its just one ta-da after another, it would be ironic to wear an oxford shirt and some Dockers.
Here's a good example of someone who doesn't care what you think and this was like 15 years ago (Faith No More):
What? Mr. Members-Only Suit beat the shit outta me? I'll pull his beard off then insert into Jos' sphincter
Subject: Do Date: Jun 21 2006 08:20:01 PM Author: Jos
What makes him such a do is the fact that hes dressed like a fucking geriatric; but, he could still beat the shit out of you while carrying on a conversation with his cell phone.
Subject: krishna Date: Jun 21 2006 01:55:56 PM Author: hare
except everyone on this board, and other americans.
Subject: krishna Date: Jun 21 2006 01:48:54 PM Author: hare
american's don't get irony and everyone knows it.
Subject: My Name Is Earl Date: Jun 20 2006 12:12:41 PM Author: Jason Leigh
Waddaya mean the next seaon is cancelled? Notfunny? Well I'm so pissed I'm gonna jog down to the studio right now and tell you what my name is. What do you think of that?
Subject: dinosaur jr Date: Jun 20 2006 11:05:49 AM Author: steve pmx
no need to bring Dinosaur Jr. into this mess
Subject: er... Date: Jun 20 2006 09:30:54 AM Author: Dave
I think he looks rather stylish actually.
Subject: hy Date: Jun 20 2006 09:26:30 AM Author: .
nice one. but theres witty irony and "no one would look at me otherwise" irony. I wonder which one is in THIS photo?
Subject: irony Date: Jun 20 2006 07:20:33 AM Author: hy
You do realise that Plato, Shakespeare and Dostoevsky used irony in their work all the time, right?
It wasn't invented by Dinosaur Jr fans in 1992.
Just to clear that up.
Subject: Nah-uhh! Date: Jun 19 2006 11:12:12 PM Author: MyRobotHand
What? A turqouise track suit and a lumber-jack beard on a non-lumber jack, with undone velcro sneaks? WTF? This guy is so far up his own ass he's going to ask Hansel & Gretel for directions to the witche's gingerbread house!
Do you know what irony is? The logical result of late capitalism. Stuff sucks. It doesn't make you happy, it doesn't end suffering the way we all thought material paradise would during the industrial revolution. It just makes us embarassed 20 years later and the only way we can make any sense out of the ridiculousness of having so much outdated, leftover crap is to make it into a big joke and call it irony.
Subject: this Date: Jun 19 2006 09:07:30 PM Author: me
It's a shame, twenty years ago you could've just said "that's funny" or "this guy is a hilarious goofball" or "haha what a retard".
But, since, like 1994 or whenever, you've got to have this big psuedo-intellectual debate about "hipsters" and how they don't care about important issues as much as a bunch of left-wing crybabies.
Subject: in awe Date: Jun 19 2006 04:17:42 PM Author: Pics
That was written by Derrida himself. How much do you guys pay him!?
Subject: "People" who comment about comments Date: Jun 19 2006 04:17:28 PM Author: Actual Person
This guy is on the Albanian national Judo team, those are Judo shoes and his team warm ups. Grow some tits
Subject: too much Date: Jun 19 2006 03:59:57 PM Author: steve PMX
this irony/not irony debate is really enlightening
Subject: ... Date: Jun 19 2006 03:50:11 PM Author: A
you're all dumb. the guy is hasidic, prob at the Y getting in a workout before the day of rest rolls around. his shit isn't ironic, it's practical.
Subject: . Date: Jun 19 2006 03:36:06 PM Author: nnik
Wrong again, Gavin McPenis! Are you telling me that guy isn't trying to say something with all that retarded "ironic" shit he's wearing???
Subject: . Date: Jun 19 2006 03:26:58 PM Author: .
vice's whole ting is aboot giving a fuck about not giving a fuck, which real people all know is completely fucked. It sucks to have no motivation .
Subject: MC Date: Jun 19 2006 02:57:16 PM Author: krs one
so you wanna be an MC, huh?
please.....
Subject: this fukin jew Date: Jun 19 2006 02:47:29 PM Author: Ricky Retardo
this fukin jew by Ricky Retardo
This is such a do (two years ago)
but he is a jew (and so)
past his prime , i think its time
to stop trying cus, well hes old and a dieing
he may work for vice
or worse thinks sucking dick is nice
though it would all be alright
if only he pulled a kurt and
shot his brains out tonight.
yes that would be nice and all would be alright.
Subject: My daily laugh Date: Jun 19 2006 02:37:29 PM Author: Ralphie
The caption is the dos and don'ts philosophy in its most dense form. It's like looking into a diamond.
I was going to tell Humphried von Lame to calm down but then I pictured his face, all red and screamy; I stopped caring and started laughing.
'Don't fucking insult me, Vice.' Just listen to him.
Subject: This is only ironic. Date: Jun 19 2006 01:19:58 PM Author: Humphried Von Fuckweiss
Yes, this guy's existence IS a big tada, he IS wearing that because he wants people to GET IT. That's the same reason this guy grew the beard, moved to LES and prob works at one of those jobs where you're not really a musician or a sound technician but sort of in between, but not really a DJ either. REPEAT; HIS WHOLE EXISTENCE IS AN IRONIC JOKE/PERFORMANCE PIECE. YOU'RE ONLY SAYING HE DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT BECAUSE YOU WISH YOU COULD SAY YOU DIDN'T. Don't fucking insult me, Vice.
Subject: This is only ironic. Date: Jun 19 2006 01:19:58 PM Author: Humphried Von Fuckweiss
Yes, this guy's existence IS a big tada, he IS wearing that because he wants people to GET IT. That's the same reason this guy grew the beard, moved to LES and prob works at one of those jobs where you're not really a musician or a sound technician but sort of in between, but not really a DJ either. REPEAT; HIS WHOLE EXISTENCE IS AN IRONIC JOKE/PERFORMANCE PIECE. YOU'RE ONLY SAYING HE DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT BECAUSE YOU WISH YOU COULD SAY YOU DIDN'T. Don't fucking insult me, Vice.
Subject: get it? Date: Jun 19 2006 12:46:47 PM Author: peter murphy
so, he's not being ironic? which means he's dressing like my nan because he really likes that gear? that's ironic.
see vice, it doesn't matter if he meant it to be ironic, it just is. the only way it's not is if he's retarded and just has a different concept of clothes/fashion. which is a do as well but not because of the lack of irony.
the 'there's nothing to get' statement applies, again, only if he's retarded. otherwise, there is a lot to get and he's making sure everyone knows it.
Subject: SHUT UP. JUST SHUT UP. Date: Jun 19 2006 12:51:26 PM Author: Lola
Dear Vice,
Isn't it becoming a thankless task creating a publication which seems to be read almost exclusively by hipster assclowns who do nothing but bitch? I know I'd get tired of it. I don't know, maybe as such a big part of Vice is OH EM GEE GETTING A REACTION it's water off a duck's back to you but if it were me in charge of writing for this often quite amusing rag I'd be throwing in the towel faster than you can say "Shoreditch twat".
Subject: call me Date: Jun 19 2006 10:45:30 AM Author: freeman
Ive always been a fan of Jason Lee.
Subject: . Date: Jun 19 2006 09:52:31 AM Author: .
way to go vice. youve created a legion a jaded cynical unfunny jerks who've turned that negativity right back on you. humanity sucks.
Subject: 311 Cover Band Date: Jun 19 2006 07:53:40 AM Author: Jetpack
I've always thought Matisyahu was a definite Don't, myself.
Subject: no big whup Date: Jun 19 2006 07:45:24 AM Author: TA DA!
way to go, vice. you just put yourself out of business
Subject: . Date: Jun 19 2006 01:13:56 AM Author: .
zing! but, you should know, you're dissing your ilk.
Subject: over it Date: Jun 19 2006 12:50:33 AM Author: Earl
How ironic.
Subject: bla Date: Jun 19 2006 12:25:08 AM Author: grishna mukti
exactly, i agree there is nothing to get....therefore the only thing that is left is that this guy is dressed in a ugly, shinny polyester track suit...this is a fucking do???
--editor: the only reason you say this is a do is that the hipster sense of irony (that you are making fun of) is so embeded in your jujdement that you can no longer recognise it.
Well they may have missed the planes but it looks like Spiderman and his sidekick the Webmaster are finally back in Gotham and ready to kick some terrorist ass.
Now that Ryanair is making transatlantic flights it’s going to be interesting to see how far the BAs and Virgin Atlantics of this world are gonna go to keep their customers. Comments/Enlarge See all
THE XXXORCIST
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