Comments:

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Subject: n/s
Date: Aug 21 2007 05:44:39 PM
Author: Some kinda guy

Oh shit you guys, I just realized these are actually photoshops
fuck you vice, I want my money back

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Subject: idiots
Date: Mar 21 2006 08:47:10 AM
Author: megagayboy

its the LIES issues. don't you get it? they're lies.

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Subject: ____++Y&^%$$%^$#^&(____
Date: Mar 10 2006 03:17:16 PM
Author: yo peepullz

Holy crap if you don't like vice then WHY ARE YOU ON THE FUCKING SITE?

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Subject: Diminished Returns.....
Date: Mar 10 2006 01:52:24 PM
Author: D.

What's with the Photoshop use? They aren't funny when you have to stage this shit.

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Subject: didnt even crack a smile
Date: Mar 09 2006 02:02:21 PM
Author: disappointed

I usually have tears in my eyes from laughing at the dos and dont....WTF? It ain't funny when you fuck with the photos yo!

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Subject: you
Date: Mar 09 2006 11:24:45 AM
Author: me

Vice has sucked balls since day one...period. They are too cool for school and all that son...good for them that they can pay thier bills...even better for them that they made a crack at Karmaloop.com....but they didn't just become fuck ups overnight kids....you have been fooled all along, the wool has been pulled over your eyes...you are better off masturbating with you eyes closed in public then ever reading their shit ass mag again...fuck there has to be like a billion better things to do anywhere, anytime then read a Vice magazine now or ever...do you read big turds? Then why read Vice? Vice = Shit ... we would like to remind you that there is nothing to be gained from reading shit...peace

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Subject: Your life is a waste
Date: Mar 08 2006 01:31:08 PM
Author: Crowd Follower

All these comments – all the complaints – people wanting their 2 minutes back! Do you guys seriously listen to what comes out of your un-inspired mouths? We are all slackers and even if the guys at VICE are slackers why do you get so angry? That kid with the fur coat on and the caption – that was funny – and if you can’t see the humour in it you are way way to serious. Life is over before you know it – really it is. I am glad I had two minutes of laughing - out

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Subject: crap
Date: Mar 07 2006 03:48:52 PM
Author: sucker

bunch of crap. too bad the fake ass zits take your attention away from the blood stained thong.

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Subject: blow
Date: Mar 06 2006 12:15:03 PM
Author: Sven Svensson

remember when ABBA and Status Quo,Slade
and Ted Gardestad lost their creative edge when
they did too much white for too long?......

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Subject: do's and dont's
Date: Mar 06 2006 12:10:13 PM
Author: willie

oh boiiiiiiiii !!!!!!

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Subject: Waste of paper
Date: Mar 06 2006 11:26:38 AM
Author: Budda Smoke

This web site is a total waste of a URL as well your zine is a complete waste of paper. you people have wasted enough, just stop, or put some real thought behind what you are doing.

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Subject: lame
Date: Mar 06 2006 10:36:30 AM
Author: -

Really fucking stupid. pics like those are only funny if they're real, not badly cut-and-pasted.

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Subject: Go fuck yourself
Date: Mar 06 2006 04:19:10 AM
Author: Little Miss Farrah-Dawn

mother fucking photoshopping bastards....the one-armed amigo definetly didnt take the time to silscreen his dirty ass beater. Shame on you vice, ya'll used to be cool/ And not to regurgitate ever'ybody elses bullshit....but keep it real, cause thats all you got.

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Subject: fuck this
Date: Mar 05 2006 04:26:34 PM
Author: w

not funny. i want back the 2 minutes i spent reading this, you fucking shits.

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Subject: you are all dumbshits
Date: Mar 05 2006 03:16:53 PM
Author: nick nolte

hey people,
quite thinking you're a genius for spotting the photoshop and questioning the "trying to weird you out even more with the comments" captions.

it's obvious vice is trying to get a rise out of you.

it's the same kind of trickery they used when they told you cobrasnake was cool.

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Subject: wtf man
Date: Mar 04 2006 02:28:59 PM
Author: Yahlar Trippin

well wtf? I come here for hipster humor and there you go with the photoshopping! there are millions of websites where they do that, and better. wtf guys, wtf.

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Subject: ugh
Date: Mar 04 2006 02:00:55 PM
Author: Nycgirl

You fuckers messed with those pictures. You gripe about reality but then you fuck with pictures on a computer. Nice one ass holes!

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Subject: played out
Date: Mar 04 2006 10:36:57 AM
Author: gym

o well - do's and don'ts had it's moments

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Subject: WTF!!!
Date: Mar 03 2006 02:10:12 PM
Author: nyc2006

sorry. but no thank you.
You suck!

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Subject: photoshop
Date: Mar 03 2006 01:33:15 PM
Author: working

There are whole websites devoted to photoshopping pictures to make them funny.

Vice should stick to making fun of real people, because this shit just sucks.

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Subject: Piss Flaps
Date: Mar 03 2006 03:34:17 AM
Author: Aunty Bunghole

How much piss can a piss flap piss if a piss flap could flap piss?

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Subject: It's not just me!
Date: Mar 02 2006 07:08:16 AM
Author: Blah

When I first read the dos and don'ts in this issue, I thought they seemed kinda lame. I usually love these sections because the commentary is so witty it's satirical, not just sarcastic. Thanks to the comments section, I know I'm not the only one thinking this. Come on Vice, put a little more effort in next time.

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Subject: Fuck-Face
Date: Mar 01 2006 06:39:36 PM
Author: Norman

Shut up Raymond! Get back in your bag.

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Subject: what the deuce?
Date: Mar 01 2006 05:43:11 PM
Author: audi

for real guys, the dos and don'ts are usually my favorite part of vice... and i just feel really let down this issue. there's a lot of obvious photoshopping and non-witty comments.
i hope you can make me feel better next issue...

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Subject: pomohomos
Date: Mar 01 2006 03:58:32 PM
Author: pomohomos

Hey vice edited my post... I feel important... or maybe I was that blown out , I don't think that was the case...

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Subject: Worst issue ever.
Date: Mar 01 2006 05:48:39 AM
Author: Penis Face

There were a few moments. I think the volcanic rocks were okay. There were a few more.

Has anyone gone to the Vice party pics and seen what THEY dress like? Not much going on there.

A GREAT idea is for them to pull Do's and Don't's on THEMSELVES. Now that would make them like, so uber ironic they would gp blind from eye-rolling.

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Subject: matthew shepard..
Date: Feb 28 2006 11:49:45 PM
Author: shaigetz ainer!

"I can already hear the defense of this stupid issue, which is Vice's standard response to any criticism: the 'irony' card.

"Oh man, they're taking us seriously! They don't get it--what a bunch of losers!""


so, uhhh...you're saying that they do the same thing every issue...which means they're consistant... and they're defending criticism with the same response... ummm.. so, like...are you trying to say that they aren't being ironic? isnt irony gay and dead anyway? i take everything in vice at face value... try it, it makes it easier..

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Subject: he's white
Date: Feb 28 2006 03:37:31 PM
Author: gongshow

the "i love NY" hindu has white arms!

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Subject: Photoshopping issue
Date: Feb 28 2006 02:36:19 PM
Author: krakhaus

I can already hear the defense of this stupid issue, which is Vice's standard response to any criticism: the 'irony' card.

"Oh man, they're taking us seriously! They don't get it--what a bunch of losers!"

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Subject: biters
Date: Feb 27 2006 08:15:18 PM
Author: farrah fawcett

ya right...the armless amigo didn't blame shit on fags, although he has every right too, me thinks photoshop reeks right through his smelly-ass dingy beater. Come on new material......fuck you guys.

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Subject: OK
Date: Feb 27 2006 09:57:26 AM
Author: Mr Happy Boy

I sort of forgot the first one. Okay - that's good enough. That will do.

But you lack empathy.

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Subject: Look.
Date: Feb 27 2006 09:47:34 AM
Author: Mr. Happy Boy

It's not that I need you to fit into the straightjacket YOU made YOURSELF just to suit me - it's that if I don't laugh I have to commit suicide. I know you're very ironic and that you lack empathy and think that's funny but, look:

Writing well is not optional. I would have so been on your side if you'd made me laugh but you didn't and now I'm going to cry.

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Subject: come on.
Date: Feb 27 2006 05:46:14 AM
Author: g with an orgy.

photoshop much?
come up with some new material!
looks like youre running a bit low ey!!
come on. youve done well to impress me with your do's and dont's section. until now!

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Subject: no no no
Date: Feb 27 2006 03:51:44 AM
Author: no1

my god vice, your guys are lame. the whole thing this month is the real don't.

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Subject: the deeper reason this issue blows
Date: Feb 27 2006 03:14:33 AM
Author: that one guy

I hate it and i love it. at first i was disappointed, until i saw all of it. i was thinking how genuinely lame it is that what is usually such a great part of this magazine had hit an all time low. but when the photoshopping was crammed down my throat hard enough i got the real point. But vice, your idea backfired because the entire idea is lamer than the photoshopping itself...which most certainly sucks.
I guess i can understand getting bored with the same formula issue after issue, but why not step up your collective game and come up with some disturbingly witty comments instead of bending over and taking it up the ass from mediocrity? its an obese cop-out to just incite hatemail from your fans, you get that every month anyway.

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Subject: Vice sucks
Date: Feb 26 2006 04:17:38 PM
Author: Mike

Worst Do's & Don't ever, trying to figure out why. Maybe there's some drama around the office. Maybe support checks from Mommy didn't come through. Gosh, being stupid and spoiled is a bitch.

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Subject: Oh, internet...
Date: Feb 25 2006 09:57:11 PM
Author: sarah

Genius.

Some of the people reading this magazine are so oblivious that when I get something, I feel like its a special inside joke, just between me and vice. How special.

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Subject: ass zits
Date: Feb 24 2006 02:10:54 PM
Author: Assmaster

I think the Ass zits are braille

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Subject: huh?
Date: Feb 24 2006 05:53:24 AM
Author: schofield

okay...i can't tell which one's the do's and which is the don'ts...

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Subject: did you even use photoshop?
Date: Feb 23 2006 09:21:14 PM
Author: erin

Wow does this ever stink.

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Subject: Raymond's face
Date: Feb 23 2006 10:41:36 AM
Author: hubert

Ohhhhh no...I just jizzed again on the head of my little sambo doll called raymond.

Once on the top of the head (where he has a cute little afro) and once on the facial part.

In the morning, I'll have to take him to the cleaners but hide it in a bag so no-one see's raymond's jizzy face.

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Subject: theme
Date: Feb 23 2006 12:31:04 AM
Author: goggles

is the theme that you suck on purpose? still not funny.

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Subject: ya know
Date: Feb 23 2006 12:21:11 AM
Author: ChrisO

Ha ha!

Now I get it.

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Subject: Derrr
Date: Feb 22 2006 08:39:10 AM
Author: Mia

Worst writing ever. What is this, Nightlife?
You ought to be ashamed of yourselves for writing such useless dribble. This was not funny in the least. I'd rather read fucking Ukula than this shite.

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Subject: This smacks of spasticity
Date: Feb 22 2006 06:05:09 AM
Author: sam

Besides the point that the images look like they've been photoshopped by paraplegic, scag addicted marmots, the whole essence of Do's & Don'ts has gone. Nowhere does it it actually hint in either, a positive/negative view.

In my humble opinion, I reckon the Vice office must've been ambushed by a bunch of Downers with swords and guns who forced the Vice staff to let them 'have a go' and in turn, what we see before us is the result. In my humble opinion.

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Subject: Alpha male pink polo shirts, collar UP
Date: Feb 21 2006 04:44:12 PM
Author: Concerned onlooker

Why are you fuckers photoshopping these pics? Fuckin cockheads! If you want some real donts just go into a city beach shop anywhere in OZ and snap away....

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Subject: ass sucking
Date: Feb 21 2006 02:26:10 PM
Author: captian fucko

the do's and don'ts fucking suck now. you guys should get back on the smack.

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Subject: dumdums
Date: Feb 21 2006 01:58:20 PM
Author: joseph william boland

this isn't very good and i didn't like it at all. i want to shoot you with dumdums fuckerz

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Subject: back in 2 months
Date: Feb 21 2006 05:30:19 AM
Author: mr phootopisspantshop

you fucked up the best part of your own mag. won't be picking it up next month

now that's funny.


i thought the blood spurting out of the bitche's eye gave it away

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Subject: I also own a copy of photoshop.
Date: Feb 21 2006 02:34:32 AM
Author: james

jesus.

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Subject: lick, a small old japanese penis,
Date: Feb 20 2006 06:51:42 PM
Author: beaupeurt

i really believe that jesus must have once said, to at least one of the 12, 'shut the fuck up, you whinging little cunt'--- maybe some of u readers should take jesus' advice. vice rocks, and u dont- so now take my advice and go and lick, a small old japanese penis, then come back and comment that he came in ur eyeball, and because he drank too much sake, it burnt ur retina.

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Subject: Jebus.
Date: Feb 20 2006 05:45:25 PM
Author: Joe Mama

I haven't seen a worse Dos and Don'ts ever. EVER!

W.

T.

F?

Who is writing these? And the photoshopping? I read a few of the comments - seems I'm just adding on and I know you fuckers don't give a shit what I think, but those were fucking lame. You better not be paying the "writers" a fucking thing, because if you are you're getting jobbed.

Why not just bail on the dos and don'ts for an issue if this steamer is the best you can do. Seriously, you're delving in to the "tarnishing what was once a great fucking thing" territoryt here.

I still fucking heart you like BFF though.

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Subject: things that make you go hmmm
Date: Feb 20 2006 06:50:47 AM
Author: mariposa!

if vice magazine sucks so much, then why are you reading it online and going thru all the trouble to post comments on the "do's and don'ts" msgboard?
just wondering....
(though i must say-i have just about died laughing reading the do's and don'ts in the past, once you spoil us, we expect you to always measure up to that

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Subject: photoshop
Date: Feb 20 2006 02:07:03 AM
Author: photoshop

Seriously, the girl with the Arab head? Classssssssic.


What are you, 12?

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Subject: eat my dust
Date: Feb 19 2006 11:19:12 PM
Author: JJ

This is getting worst, man
you suck!

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Subject: Let someone in the office proof read 1st
Date: Feb 18 2006 02:16:45 AM
Author: JellyBean

I mean, WTF? You understand these are usually witty? Hope that helps.

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Subject: cuntmouth
Date: Feb 18 2006 12:57:36 AM
Author: Tim Carr

I have those same ass zits.they are cool.

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Subject: no longer worth reading.
Date: Feb 17 2006 03:17:17 PM
Author: iamthruwithvice.com

dos and donts have sucked since 2005. you guys should retire.

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Subject: Smuggle fatty bitches
Date: Feb 17 2006 01:28:28 PM
Author: Mister The Fish

Goonboy is the shit. He's a definite DO. He wears optical illusion jackets and smuggles a fatty bitch under them. You photoshopped way too much fag onto his face tho'.

Looks like a real swell pah-teee.

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Subject: u've changed
Date: Feb 17 2006 01:18:05 PM
Author: anjali

naffin i totally agree with you. what's the point in calling things "dont's" that you created yourself? better spend your time on searchin for real dont's on the streets.....and i can tell you there's enough which is way worse than an indian guy wearing stilettos....

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Subject: I like Vice
Date: Feb 17 2006 12:16:22 PM
Author: DS

...but for cryin' out 'loud,
could you do the photo-retouching a little better?! (your doing us out of a job, fr'chrisakes)

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Subject: hot
Date: Feb 17 2006 12:00:57 PM
Author: the asian chick

i hate jews but asian girls i love

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Subject: Subject:
Date: Feb 17 2006 02:39:10 AM
Author: Author:

i don't buy any of the over-the-top ones.

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Subject: .
Date: Feb 16 2006 05:20:40 PM
Author: .

Photoshop?

Why the fuck do you guys even bother putting out this magazine anymore?

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Subject: um
Date: Feb 16 2006 01:56:06 AM
Author: amanda

does gavin still write this? Because none of those were funny.

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Subject: the only picture not photoshopped
Date: Feb 15 2006 09:15:12 PM
Author: Derek

A pretty, well-dressed, mix-raced girl reading a David Duke book is a do.

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Subject: this is the worst
Date: Feb 15 2006 06:31:52 PM
Author: LV

what the fuck? i can do this at home using macpaint. Try a little you doped out losers, it ain't rocket fucking science!

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Subject: Lame
Date: Feb 15 2006 05:11:24 PM
Author: Moby Cock

Did vice magazine just discover photoshop? I want to see some losers being made fun of not muslim tranvestite animorphs.

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Subject: I am...
Date: Feb 15 2006 01:56:59 PM
Author: Thomas

I am giggling my ass off.

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Subject: .
Date: Feb 15 2006 04:32:03 AM
Author: none of your fucking business

you guys are kidding me, right?


the POINT is that they are all photoshopped. shit. i thought smart people read this magazine.

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Subject: Photoshop
Date: Feb 14 2006 09:33:07 AM
Author: Anti-Fascism

Wow Vice. These used to be funny when the photos were real. Now they're all just photoshopped.

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Subject: WASPY CUNT MONGOLOID
Date: Feb 14 2006 02:22:56 AM
Author: Chad

You are a cunt. Fuck? FUCK-FACE! Inbred FAGGET! You are a dip-shit. You look like you have down-syndrome because your great grandparents and their great grandparents fucked each other like animals. You belong to a fraternity.

cunt.

FUCK-FACE.

thanks

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Subject: make it stop x2
Date: Feb 13 2006 03:42:54 PM
Author: Rud3boyTM

Why does the posting window say in parentheticals that "posts that are not on topic will be removed?" (whatever) Meanwhile it is apparent that people have run out of things to say about this issue so now the new thing to do is comment on the irrelevant shit like the DIESEL ad (lmao)and chastize each other. Look at what kind of fucking confusion you've put us all in. Reminiscent of the tower of Babel. Are you guys having fun in hipster heaven, or hell-ay, laughing at us for scrambling like headless chickens because we cannot exist without decent writing and looking at people more fucked up than us? Vice, in a last attempt to save face, do us all a favor and CLOSE this posting thing PLEAAASE at least until you come out with a better issue. Or we will keep posting and it has already become more annoying. We get it, we get it. We all see how dumb we all are compared to you. You guys are evil E-geniuses for making us waste our time doing your job. We have all made ourselves into one GIANT DON'T by posting the hell out of this issue.

*Gunshot sound*

NO. MORE. IRRELEVANT. COMMENTS. JESUS!

LMAO I still don't give a shit Vice you suck. Woohoo!

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Subject: ?
Date: Feb 13 2006 04:04:30 AM
Author: Menace

Why do we need to cut and paste pics for this section? Isn't the reality of fashion and style pathetic enough already?

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Subject: Gary's Comment
Date: Feb 13 2006 01:13:58 AM
Author: Sarah

"It's not Vice that's lame, it's the constant flow of idiots that try to boost their egos by mocking Vice that are lame."


Chaaaaaaaaa, I think it's both. The haterz might suck, but so does Vice.

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Subject: gary's remark
Date: Feb 12 2006 05:21:17 PM
Author: six

gary's remark third down ,,nice

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Subject: b
Date: Feb 12 2006 03:41:34 PM
Author: a

hugs not drugs

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Subject: What?
Date: Feb 12 2006 02:28:54 PM
Author: Gary

How many people have already pointed out here that the whole point of the issue is that it's fake?

...and people are still like "OMG you guys are losers, why are you making fake Don'ts?"

It's not Vice that's lame, it's the constant flow of idiots that try to boost their egos by mocking Vice that are lame.

"If I can find a way to be cooler than the official magazine of hipsters, I will be the ULTIMATE HIPSTER!"

If you want to be cooler than Vice, do something cooler than Vice. One time I was at this bar on their kareoke night, and some guy went up and did a Britney Spears song, obviously just for kicks, and some other douchebag starts yelling "Britney Spears sucks! Britney Spears is a corporate whore!" These people remind me of that guy, missing the joke and screaming insults in a desperate attempt to come off as cooler than everyone that was actually having fun.

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Subject: no way
Date: Feb 12 2006 01:09:35 PM
Author: Norrin Radd

the don´ts are so fucked up fake. what the hell is wrong with you guys. are you not able to find a few real don´ts in a month?

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Subject: wankers
Date: Feb 12 2006 10:15:12 AM
Author: Frank

learn some decent photoshop you bunch of ponces

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Subject: wack
Date: Feb 11 2006 08:38:33 PM
Author: wack

wack....go fuck yourselves

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Subject: thw=
Date: Feb 11 2006 05:14:21 PM
Author: bronson

this issue rules

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Subject: yeah? no.
Date: Feb 11 2006 02:32:15 PM
Author: samalamadingdong

yaaaawwwwwnnnnn.

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Subject: Wow.
Date: Feb 11 2006 01:06:40 PM
Author: Good lord.

It didn't take me THAT long to figure out that the whole theme of this issue was that it was all made up shit... but of course everyone wants to believe that they're awesomer than Vice, so here they are all giddy that they figured out these pictures were photoshopped.

No shit, geniuses. That's the joke. Fer cryin' out loud.

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Subject: holy shit.
Date: Feb 11 2006 12:29:29 PM
Author: cory stafford

im worried about you people. all off you who are FREAKING out that this month do's/dont's suck so bad either because you do get the photoshop joke, and you still think it is weak,or dont get the joke(pathetic). You people are addicts, face it, you NEED the do's and dont's so bad, when you get a bag that comes short a .5 gram you are like "what the fuck! im going to kill you assholes" but yet I have a feeling you will be grabing two to four issues from your local re-sale hipster clothing store the day they are put out. Chill out people, it will be OK, sorry you did'nt get your belly laugh on, but christ, all this "im never reading Vice again crap" is'nt scaring anyone....your addicts...your hooked.

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Subject: fuck you
Date: Feb 11 2006 12:55:56 PM
Author: vinny

I didn't even smirk once. I used to die laughing at this shit now nothing. What, you guys are rich now so youre no longer funny? fuck you fags.

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Subject: contrary
Date: Feb 11 2006 12:41:29 PM
Author: mary

vice has died. oficially, after this issue anyway.

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Subject: do's and don'ts R.I.P.
Date: Feb 11 2006 07:53:20 AM
Author: Sweetreat Dessert Pizza

Whoever the author has been for the past 3 or 4 months needs to go back to writing for Pitchforkmedia and working at Urban Outfitters. This section used to guarantee a laugh and now it's just completely out of touch and uncreative.

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Subject: what she/he said
Date: Feb 11 2006 01:44:02 AM
Author: stays crunky in milk

Don't you hate it when you set the bar high and then after years of success you get comfortable and somewhat bored so you end up letting interns do your work because the pazazz is just gone for you, only then the interns kinda do a shitty job. Ya, that sucks.

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Subject: dont's
Date: Feb 10 2006 10:46:48 PM
Author: Amy

please just stop with the photoshopping... it's really not funny... and I'm not quite sure what was so great about the Do's... but yeah, you guys need to fix up your Do's and Dont's

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Subject: vice
Date: Feb 10 2006 09:53:05 PM
Author: Ed

This really was another well written "episode"[ha] of vice magazine. I have to say guys I am impressed, although you mag has become alot more theme orientated of late you are still going strong (just makes it a bit less readable), seriously, as the only real source of humour in an otherwise bleak world of gay...ness.

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Subject: Yea
Date: Feb 10 2006 07:42:26 PM
Author: Kat

I could see photoshopping to take the piss, but the problem is it's just not funny.

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Subject: doy
Date: Feb 10 2006 06:52:12 PM
Author: loosing interest in Vice

wow - this sucks

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Subject: photoshop
Date: Feb 10 2006 05:47:00 PM
Author: john doe

Ever since the proliferation of Photoshop, people have been inundated with the worst imagery of all time. Vice is usually a place to visit where you can laugh at genuinely fucked up worthless people, but now that's all gone. Vice isn't cool anymore, your obnoxiousness has now lost all sense of irony, you all just sound like a bunch of whiny, highschoolers.

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Subject: Bad
Date: Feb 10 2006 05:25:23 PM
Author: Justin

This is definitely the worst issue of Vice I've ever read, and I've read some bad ones. I'm pretty sure this will be the last.

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Subject: photoshoppin vice
Date: Feb 10 2006 04:20:59 PM
Author: dc

vice has been photoshoping their pics for months probably closer to a year. people are just noticing now.

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Subject: the R.E.A.L Don't
Date: Feb 10 2006 03:41:58 PM
Author: Mr Drumbo

The real don't is the camouflage couple with some kind of annoying red logo. Tacky!

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Subject: btbtgrs
Date: Feb 10 2006 02:18:38 PM
Author: gagrt

Last month people called photoshopping on the cop with heels, so this entire thing is photoshopped.
It's a joke.

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Subject: poo
Date: Feb 10 2006 12:36:22 PM
Author: shee-it

why is vice shit now?

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Subject: honestly?
Date: Feb 10 2006 11:04:49 AM
Author: beanie

photoshopping? really? now we need photoshop to create the losers in the don'ts? come on guys... this is AMERICA. you can do better than that. sheesh.

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Subject: I'm very dissapointed in you
Date: Feb 10 2006 09:47:16 AM
Author: Bobby

You all have reached new depths of laziness!
"Sure, we could go out and pound the pavement and find our fashion victors and victims - but geesh, I just watched season 4 of Sanford and Son and I'm pooped".
Do hipsters not have fathers? Seriously.

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Subject: babys
Date: Feb 10 2006 04:09:27 AM
Author: rank pussy

"Alright I get the obvious embrace of you guys sucking, but alas it is not cool. Yes it is postmodern but not cool at all. Passe no? I think so. Why don't you guys stop thinking anyone still thinks this is cool/hip. I think most people with any bit of sense left are tired of this played out cliches you guys are beating. Why dont you guys read some Baudrillard and become Hyper-real or simulate something... oh wait thats a little of your head..."

Guy, were you fucking serious? Douche.

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Subject: what happened?
Date: Feb 10 2006 02:50:32 AM
Author: Button

Usually i laugh out loud at the do's and don'ts, but this one didn't even get a snicker out of me. Not just because of the photoshop, they just weren't very funny this time.

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Subject: fuckin a
Date: Feb 09 2006 08:56:28 PM
Author: your pretty face is going to hell

look, the fucking magazine is free. is your time honestly that important that you get this mad cause you think an article in a FREE MAGAZINE was shitty? calm the fuck down. it wasnt that great but you dont gotta come that strong... and whats with all the trust fund jokes? you're the one reading a free magazine.

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Subject: oh
Date: Feb 09 2006 08:58:11 PM
Author: kyle

yeh this one time i smoked like 6 rocks and just jammed all day..fuck yeh though the next day i woke up i was like yeh i just smoked 6 rocks yesterday...but its cool cuz i jam all day..i dont mind that im ruining something that can be really somethign good..

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Subject: nerd.
Date: Feb 09 2006 07:03:10 PM
Author: Haplo

You trust-fund douchebags run out of time between cocaine hang-overs?

I can't believe your advertisers would stand for this shit in the only even mildly amusing portion of your "I don't know what else to do with mommy's money" magazine.

Go back to grad school, homos.

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Subject: fuck u vice!
Date: Feb 09 2006 06:50:50 PM
Author: fuck u vice!

Goddamnit, this is a new low, even for Vice. Even a blind-retarded chimp suffering from the last stages of a raging ebola virus can do a better job at the photoshopping than you. Please, if you do not have anything to put in the DON'Ts section, just DON'T.

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Subject: come on guys
Date: Feb 09 2006 06:14:13 PM
Author: juju

what. the. fuck.

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Subject: purplemonkeydishwasher
Date: Feb 09 2006 05:04:36 PM
Author: your mother

yea, I get it.
That doesn't stop it from sucking.

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Subject: pomo homos
Date: Feb 09 2006 04:24:11 PM
Author: pomo homos

Alright I get the obvious embrace of you guys sucking, but alas it is not cool. Yes it is postmodern but not cool at all. Passe no? I think so. Why don't you guys stop thinking anyone still thinks this is cool/hip. I think most people with any bit of sense left are tired of this played out cliches you guys are beating. Why dont you guys read some Baudrillard and become Hyper-real or simulate something... oh wait thats a little of your head...

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Subject: SLICE
Date: Feb 09 2006 03:53:54 PM
Author: BODEGA VENDETTA

YOU'RE ALL SO 5 YEARS AGO.
HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW ISSUE OF SLICE?

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Subject: I really like these!
Date: Feb 09 2006 03:45:02 PM
Author: Bret Pittman

I don't know what everyone is complaining about...
Even if some of them clearly aren't 'real' photos, remember: there is still an art to collage!
It's got to be really hard to take several photos and Manually cut them out and make them match up perfectly. Scissors are tricky and how about getting the sizing so close?!
I mean, it'd be one thing if there were a computer program that assisted you, but come on, people!

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Subject: wtf!
Date: Feb 09 2006 03:25:41 PM
Author: bukkakebot

vice,

someone seriously has to be fired for the shitty photoshop/editing in the don'ts...

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Subject: Insulting
Date: Feb 09 2006 03:29:24 PM
Author: TechnoTofu

Dude, c'mon. A trained monkey could do better PhotoShopping. Horrible. This site hasn't been funny in over 6 months.

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Subject: kabooommm!!!
Date: Feb 09 2006 12:27:13 PM
Author: cokies

falling fast......................

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Subject: catorse
Date: Feb 09 2006 02:29:47 PM
Author: bob crane

one time my nutz got stuck in a snapple bottle and i had to use hot butter to get them out. ever since then, i love hot butter on my nutz.

btw, Tom Cruise is gay.

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Subject: wowwww
Date: Feb 09 2006 02:13:08 PM
Author: wowww

wowwwww.. You guys are falling offf!

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Subject: Are you kidding me?
Date: Feb 09 2006 01:52:50 PM
Author: *****

this is by far the WORST SHITTIEST Do's and Dont's I have ever seen...obviously the new photo editor is a lazy piece of shit

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Subject: AIDS..
Date: Feb 09 2006 01:11:33 PM
Author: shaigetz ainer!

"ill say something vice, you really know how to expose the idiots, fakers and poseurs that make up you readership. but is that really a good enough basis for a magazine to exist?"

yes..

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Subject: Goddammit....
Date: Feb 09 2006 12:30:47 PM
Author: Hunter

These Do's and Don'ts SUCK! The guido hitman kid and the furr coat hood rat was the only two worth reading...the rest sucked ass! And the Do's didn't even make fucking sense...thank god this net rag is free...

In all honesty, this is the only DO's and DON'TS I've ever read that sucked....all the rest are great...so....goodjob.

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Subject: vice
Date: Feb 09 2006 12:10:04 PM
Author: never

ill say something vice, you really know how to expose the idiots, fakers and poseurs that make up you readership. but is that really a good enough basis for a magazine to exist, and what does that tell you? that instead of writing something with content that contributes to something, you'd rather be the blackhole of inspiration. you nail morons but with no discernable reason and intelligence.
ill admit you used to do it well, and it seemed like you had something to say. now i think you must just believe all the hype or have taken to much coke

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Subject: worst do's and don'ts of all time
Date: Feb 09 2006 12:02:54 PM
Author: rossco

booooooo, fuckers. get on your horses and redeem yourselves next month. these do's and don'ts aren't even worth picking up your free magazine.

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Subject: ALL OF YOU
Date: Feb 09 2006 12:08:37 PM
Author: DUMBASSES

this is the "verdad" issue. that means "truth" in spanish. everything, all the articles, all the do's and dont's, are LIES!!! HAHAH YOU ALL GOT FOOLED! i bet you really thought they got an al-queda guy to open up. fucking morons. hey i can sell you the brooklyn bridge for 90 bucks, how's that sound. HAHAHAH i'm so much smarter than you. a BMX jump over the grand canyon? come the fuck on!

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Subject: VICE YOU FUCKING SUCK ASS !
Date: Feb 09 2006 12:00:35 PM
Author: VICE IS A BITCH

FUCK YOU GUYS FOR HAVING TO FUCKING PHOTOSHOP YOUR FUCKING SHIT! THIS IS SAD ! YOU ARE USUALLY RIGHT ON ! BUT WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE KIDING ? DO YOU GUYS ACTUALLY GET PAID TO DO THIS SHIT ? STOP DOING SO MANY DRUGS AND GET TO FUCKING WORK YOU ASSHOLES !

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Subject: photoshop
Date: Feb 09 2006 11:51:48 AM
Author: matty

seriously. those photoshops suck ass.

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Subject: wow.. just wow...geigh fags
Date: Feb 09 2006 11:17:21 AM
Author: Bartron2020

C'mon... next time just close the fuckin do's and don'ts section if there is lack of material.. or do what you guys always do and recycle old pics.. fags.. geigh fags

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Subject: suggestion
Date: Feb 09 2006 10:58:57 AM
Author: steve ob

More cunt.

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Subject: Aw, man...
Date: Feb 09 2006 08:23:43 AM
Author: The doctor

Please don't let the interns use any of the computers that have photoshop on them. And for fuck sake - don't let them publish. When I first read this I wondered if a bunch of 12 year olds had hacked the site, but no, that would have been funnier.

What an awful way to start my day. Thanks VICE!

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Subject: hoppeth the bandwagon
Date: Feb 09 2006 12:27:24 AM
Author: Rud3boyTM

Aw Shucks. This is actually pretty fucking clever! After you filter through the quasi racist implication of assuming she's an uneducated low income F.O.B. (fresh off the boat) immigrant, there are a shining set of ideals being projected in the picture of the Asian woman reading. What we don't see due to primitive scissors & scotchtape cut/paste frenzy: She's actually reading VICE "magazine," sitting on a brand name toilet and is looking forward to using the soft pages as toilet paper. Oh that fucking brilliant hipster irony. I love you guys! A coctail of CrystalMeth is definately the forgotten virtuoso in your symphony of bullshit. Just curious, I'm as apathetic perhaps nihilistic as the next bored fucker but is it common parlance for you guys to pick on a terminal incurable disease as a source for humor? Keep up the good work guys! Kudos.

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Subject: zzzzzzzzz
Date: Feb 08 2006 11:45:51 PM
Author: pshhhhhhh

I'm bored. I'm going to go take an intro to photoshop class and start up my own lame ass magazine.

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Subject: wow
Date: Feb 08 2006 11:07:41 PM
Author: Tommy

I've read the do's and don't for over 3 years now, and I nominate the armless homophobe as the all-time winner of the don'ts. It's almost like the feature should be retired now.

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Subject: i dunno..
Date: Feb 08 2006 10:58:57 PM
Author: shaigetz ainer!

..this months do's and dont's were pretty AIDStastic... if i didnt have AIDS, which makes me too weak to move, i would give it two thumbs up...AIDS!!!

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Subject: Dear idiots
Date: Feb 08 2006 10:58:24 PM
Author: Fucking idiots

VERDAD (the theme of the issue) is Spanish for "truth." It's a joke because all the stories are completely made up and the DO's and DON'Ts are photoshopped due to everyone continually claiming they are.

DO YOU ALL HAVE SHIT FOR BRAINS?

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Subject: Shucks McShuckster
Date: Feb 08 2006 10:59:15 PM
Author: The Untouchable Hipster God

"untouchable hipster gods"!? That's adorable! Keegan here got VICE as a stocking-stuffer. He may be in college, but no one is too old for stocking stuffers.

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Subject: SO LAME
Date: Feb 08 2006 10:35:20 PM
Author: THC Electra

What a fucking waste of time. This was the weakest shit ever

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Subject: holy shit
Date: Feb 08 2006 10:20:57 PM
Author: andrew

this is the worst do and donts i have ever seen, i cant believe you guys are fucking photoshopping.

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Subject: peeshop
Date: Feb 08 2006 10:23:12 PM
Author: bee lovely

photoshopping was lame, and not in that lame-but-so-lame-that-it's-remarkable-now sort of way.

i waited all that time for this?

i'm just not jazzed about it, is all.

ps: think trekkies in full costume/renaissance faires /weird old people with glitter/homeless drag queens/ new england motorcycle gang ladies with that long black hair purple eyes wolf-tshirt crap /fat little girls in espadrilles/ yuppies with dogs/& sluts with bloody noses and marushkas.

i still love you.

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Subject: suck
Date: Feb 08 2006 10:06:16 PM
Author: mk

YES LAME

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Subject: Meese balls on Vice Fagazine
Date: Feb 08 2006 09:52:21 PM
Author: . . :L3RNT 1: . .

Q:How hard is it to find douchBags dressed poorly?

A: About as hard as noticing that you guys are lazy & terrible at Pshop

All you fake ass fuckers have to do, is take a picture and talk shit... weak, really weak. Get some adobe skills at least if you're gonna front.

Suck it easy.

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Subject: FUCKING
Date: Feb 08 2006 09:38:14 PM
Author: dtc

LAME

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Subject: photoshop
Date: Feb 08 2006 09:15:35 PM
Author: Da Ill Homo Thug (No Homo)

Dear vice, when you have to photo shop shit to make it funny you are lame. You photo shopped shit poorly and used the same color red on all this fake shit. Also, photo shopping bruises on a ho is just irresponsible journalism. way to go sukahs. stick to doing drugs. leave the magazines to people who know how to fake shit. loosers

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Subject: health
Date: Feb 08 2006 09:07:58 PM
Author: Raoul Duke

Vice, are you feeling well? Something is clearly amiss here. Ahh yes the neglect of tangible content.

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Subject: omfg
Date: Feb 08 2006 08:55:26 PM
Author: archaic

this shits even wacker than the DOS. fuck this i'm pissed, i want my money back

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Subject: That last guy in the LRG jacket...
Date: Feb 08 2006 08:48:58 PM
Author: Competition

Is the head buyer for Karmaloop!!

aahahahah!

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Subject: -
Date: Feb 08 2006 08:46:39 PM
Author: shucks mcshuckster

yo yo yo i get it, those vice guys are all like nailing anyone who says the dos/donts are photoshopped. or nailing people like me who even read into it at all. shucks these guys are so clever, anyone who disses is stupid, you know?
how about doing somehing GOOD you know? or are you all untouchable hipster gods?

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Subject: cut and paste
Date: Feb 08 2006 08:52:00 PM
Author: blahblah

this new cut and paste thing completely sucks. its like if this guy who you knew was a big liar started telling you a story and it'd be cool if you knew that it was true...but you know its all a big lie and it is isn't so it just fucking hurts really bad.

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Subject: cut and paste
Date: Feb 08 2006 08:36:06 PM
Author: jewstin

ya, cut and paste is not that funny, that bleeding pet monkey would be hilarious only if he was real.

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Subject: cut and paste
Date: Feb 08 2006 08:29:45 PM
Author: Dr. Nafffin

Sweet cut and paste... I mean, I guess it's kind of funny and taking the dos and don'ts in a certain direction, but I could cut and paste a bleeding experiment monkey onto the kid in my film class with the top hat and say it was awesome that he had a bleeding pet monkey... but it'd be funnier if I took of picture of the bleeding pet monkey top hat boy actually has.

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