With the return of REAL football, you’d think the love for grime would die down. NO! What the fuck are you on bitch!?!?! Fuck off back to your place in the queue at the Job Centre (in between yo’ momma and Shola Ama). The grime world is on fire and speaking of Job Centres and waste chicks, Lady Sov may have just landed on her three-striped hooves. Word on the street is that she recently hooked up with Usher and Jay-Z.

Right now the biggest buzz on road, is the one around N Double A’s L Man. Hailing from south London, Gypsy Hill to be precise, L Dot Man is the grime scene’s very own Oliver. Raised in a children’s home, the castaway turned lyricist at a young age, proving to his dirty finger-nailed peers it doesn’t matter what background you crawl in from, if you’ve got bars/flow/lyrics you’ll get noticed. DJ Cameo seems to be giving him the most support reloading current bangers like “L Dot Man” and J Sweet’s “Godzilla” (which L murks) several times on his show. The 20-year-old is keeping his bulbous head firmly to the ground, we overhead him say, “I met my partner in rhyme Narstie in a park in Brixton, we got talking and he said I had talent for a white kid.” Since that first meeting he joined N Dubs and has been on-point ever since. Check his Facts of Life mixtape and shut the fuck up! Meanwhile the pudding lover MC Narstie and crew member Solo have been reppin’ for the rest of the camp with the jokes smash “Brush Man”—which sees the two basically cuss each other for four minutes (the pudding lover gets it).

The Great War continues: fuck that Israeli/Palestine shit over bagels, but the producers-turned-MCs have been battling it out. Jammer (with current bars aimed at you know who) and Skepta (currently sending for SLK?????) have been the main 16 bar pimps with dirty old man Jon E. Cash taking a rest (apparently to shoot porn) and new comer Low Deep getting his 16” out and whacking it on various tables. The Merkle Man and Mr Go On Then are getting big wheel ups and need to continue. But Low Deep you need to get your arse back behind a console and keep knocking out those PSP beats. Your ’duction is as sick as an all-male Siamese gangbang, Run the Road 2’s “Get Set” and the forthcoming “Cheeky Violin 2” prove that, but your Lutonian bars are laughable (in the “HAT! My sister is fucking a crackhead” sense of the word). In related news, Jon E. Cash’s “Cash Beat” AKA “Hood’s Up” is still causing a stir and is probably one of the hottest instrumentals right now.

Also causing commotion is Mizz Beats, as “Saw It Coming” is by far the best thing to come from Run the Road 2. We hear she’s quite rightfully in the kitchen, cooking up some hot remixes for peeps. If any of those joints sound like “Signal”, the track she produced for D Double E, then we know where our stolen handbag change is going.

Newham Generals are coming with their debut album Generally Speaking real real soon. There is some production on there from Footsie that made the hair on my athlete’s pus-ridden foot stand on end! (Shout to Twisman the fake D Double E!).

In the mixtape world, Faction G is bussing up the roads with Facts Not Fiction. Look out for the brap-inducing “I Swear Down” featuring B Live, Tripel Threat and Royal. His debut release also features the ever popular “W.M.D.” and make sure your lazy behind listens to “Not Wise” featuring Carly Bond.

After all the mainstream press he got (yes both articles), backing from the “ghettos”’ own Tim “I chat shit” Westwood, RWD cover star Lethal B recently released his debut LP Against All Oddz and let’s just say Maxwell got “Air on the Roads”, with both copies being bought by family members he was outside the Top 75. Shame really, ’cos there were some decent tracks on there. The pink-lipped mother still has a chance to make up for it though: the next single, “Shame”, is as commercial as it comes.

Grime is once again being exported by Plasticman (the first DJ to take the sound to Japan). This time the location was Brussels and he took Skepta, Jammer, Logan, plus Mark One and JSD from Virus Syndicate along for the ride. We heard Mark’s set got the biggest reaction out there, which may have something to do with Manchester’s own Virus Syndicate’s “Slow Down” video finally making it to TV channels. The Syndicate’s debut album was released time ago, so Planet Mu fix up! It’s not as if you have anyone else on your label to promote!

Make sure you get yourself down to the FREE rave every fortnight Hate Is Not A Strong Word @ The Old Blue Last, Vice’s very own pub. Ruff Squad and Slew Dem quite literally blew the doors off the hinges at the last event—miss it and you’re a waste man!

Word to your mother, I’m out. Keep it grimy and don’t go running on any tubes now will you, ’cos you could get shot in the face seven times!!!

N.E. RAN-DOMBREH