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Amy Kellner’s Tidbits
HAUNTED JEAN JACKET
I think this jacket is really funny, but I have it hanging near my bed and sometimes in the dark it looks like a scary old-man face and it gives me nightmares.
VALLEY GIRL BOOK
I memorized this book when I was nine. The slang in here is awesome; they call a shopping mall “the Bonerama.” I really wanna bring that back.

WONDERING JEW LEAVES
That’s me. I was a wondering Jew and I left. I keep it on my wall to remind me of my newfound secular freedom.

SAD CLOWN NEEDLEPOINT
Jim Krewson made this for me. It pretty much defines my entire aesthetic, and my basic philosophy too.
SIEGFRIED & ROY MUG
My great-aunt got me this from Las Vegas—totally unironically. She said, “I got this for you because I know you like cats!”
UGLY OR SPECIAL?
I asked the saleslady if this doll was, “you know, special” and she answered, “Um, yeah! She’s a special little dolly!” So now I don’t know if it’s supposed to look like it has Down syndrome or if it’s just kinda ugly.
DOUGHNUT HEAD
Another gift from Jim Krewson, who is not only a great artist, but the best gift-giver ever.

DAD’S ’NAM ZIPPO
My dad got this when he was in the Navy during the Vietnam War. He had a girlfriend named Nippy in Bangkok.
MOM’S PERIOD BOOK
My mom gave me this book when I got my period. It was hers from when she got her period. I was like, what’s a “sanitary belt”?
JERRI BLANK
AUTOGRAPHED PHOTO
It says “Pee on me, lesbo.”
People go nuts when they see this in my house.



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Comments:
Subject: gcyczwdz
Date: May 17 2007 04:00:52 AM
Author: gcyczwdz

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Subject: vznvifek
Date: May 16 2007 12:03:01 AM
Author: vznvifek

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Subject: katedxwt
Date: May 15 2007 11:02:47 AM
Author: katedxwt

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Subject: ?
Date: Sep 09 2006 03:51:14 AM
Author: dj

amy ist die schlechteste fotographin der welt

Subject: Ja.
Date: Mar 05 2006 09:49:20 PM
Author: Isabel (Ecuador)

What?! Kellnerīs tidbits SUCKS! My tidbits are way better than these.

Subject: huh
Date: Jan 08 2006 04:56:39 PM
Author: chin

jeez guy.

Subject: vice
Date: Dec 29 2005 01:13:53 PM
Author: indo

this has to be the worst issue in Vice history

Subject: almost famous
Date: Dec 24 2005 01:28:40 AM
Author: hector collector

amy kellner has the best stuff of anybody

probably because she is the least famous

Subject: i take stuff to marketplace for time
Date: Dec 20 2005 04:25:25 PM
Author: morris peebles

i like stuff too.

Subject: that whore!
Date: Dec 20 2005 11:41:39 AM
Author: john

My sis worked with amy sedaris on some show and she got me the same autograph. pic and caption. except mine says john and not lesbo.god i hate her so much

Subject: fun!
Date: Dec 20 2005 03:21:17 AM
Author: Funzo

This stuff is plausibly okay, because it's so random, none of it is that rare-hardtofind-extra limited edition book of some shitty british mod rocker scene, nor is it some guilded floating Jeff Koons pendant replica that someone got for their Batmitzvah from Niki de'Saint Phalle... I'm 50/50 with this article.

Subject: Jacket
Date: Dec 19 2005 09:05:22 PM
Author: JoJo

I NEED that jacket. Ironically, I grew up in New Jersey and everyone had the New York jackets just like that. So who wore the New Jersey jackets?

Subject: val surf
Date: Dec 19 2005 03:39:46 PM
Author: ladyface

There are a few great Val books. I have The Totally Awesome Val Guide by Jodie Ann Posserello, as told to Sue Black (a food court confession?).

Subject: Material Stuff
Date: Dec 17 2005 10:39:28 AM
Author: L.B.

This reminds me of Ghost World. The part where she says something like, "you have so much neat stuff, I could just die if I had all this stuff."

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